....not to be confused with being a mutha *@$%#! in da hood. There is a difference.
Here I sit as my sweet baby sleeps almost 6 weeks after the main event. Some day I will get around to posting my birth story. I still can't believe I grew and birthed a little human. But I digress.
While I'm still figuring this motherhood thing out, I have made a few observations in my semi-conscious, really-wishing-I-could-wind-down-and-nap-more-because-my-baby-only-sleeps-3-hours-at-a-time-overnight-when-I'm-lucky state. Life with newborns. #mommyproblems
Anyway. My thoughts. Did the thought train derail again? Blast.
Side note: some of these thoughts are ideas I got from a Babycenter.com list of 42 things that change when you have a baby. I decided to hone in on the ones most relevant to my situation.
I finally respect my body. Because of my pregnancy weight gain, I have a lot of extra honky tonk in my badonky donk. Not to mention that my thighs don't whisper to each other when I walk. They scream. I have some pretty gnarly mommy scars (some call them stretch marks, but I think mommy scars sounds more hardcore). All of this I wear as badges of honor. Why? I had a baby. Without medication. No epidural. No spinal. Nothing except a little anti-nausea medication because I seriously felt like I was going to throw up during active labor. It was by no stretch easy. It's not called a picnic; it's called labor for a reason. I felt like I was going to give in for the love of anesthesia many times. And then I was pushing a baby past my pelvic bone and out my lady bits (cue funeral dirge...or maybe "Ave Maria"...what once was will never be the same again, dear va-jay). Oddly the pushing part didn't hurt. Before I knew it, there was a beautiful baby on my chest looking me in the eyes and reaching out to touch my face. Women say it all the time, but seriously my body took over and told me what to do. I just knew when it was time to push. I knew we needed to go to the hospital (okay...my water had broken, but still I had a feeling we shouldn't labor at home and needed to be in the hospital). I am still in awe that I was able to have an unmedicated natural childbirth, and now that my sweet Natalie girl is here my body still amazes me in a number of ways. How quickly it rebounded after childbirth. How quickly my baby bulge became an almost imperceptible little lump of pudge. How it provides just the right amount of nutrition and food for my baby via breastfeeding. Yeah, I get discouraged seeing how I used to look compared to now. I have some work to do to get back to pre-pregnancy awesomeness. But for now I have "just had a baby" awesomeness to rock. And I love it!
Everything makes me cry. It seemed like I cried if I waited too long to take a pee break the first couple of weeks after Natalie was born. While I have gotten my emotions under control since the hormone roller coaster has become more of a lazy river, there are still things that get me weepy. Like the news. I watch all these stories from a mom's perspective now. The world is kind of depressing. I also cry sometimes when I look at Natalie and I'm overwhelmed by how amazing of a miracle she is. My mom says all this crying is payback for making fun of her being a leaky faucet. Perhaps.
The definition of a good night's sleep has forever changed. Related: I used to think I knew what the word "exhausted" meant. Before moving into the motherhood, a good night's sleep was at least 7 hours. I couldn't function with less than that. Thankfully, the midnight runs to the potty during my third trimester sort of prepped me for what was to come. In the motherhood, a good night's sleep has become whenever Natalie sleeps for at least 3 hours at a time. If I get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row, I feel like a new woman in the morning. After making it through the first three weeks, I've somewhat adjusted. There are times where I feel like I'm barely going to make it through the day. Thank goodness for naptime.
I have to harness my inner detective. In case you hadn't heard, babies don't talk. They cry. All of their cries mean something, but you have to play detective to figure out what the heck they need and want. After going through the usual suspects (hunger, dirty diaper), it's tough to figure out what's wrong when she keeps on crying. Enter inner detective. I'm no Nancy Drew and the hubs certainly isn't a Hardy Boy, so we have a lot of trial and error going on to figure out how to soothe our sweet girl. After nearly 6 weeks, we still feel clueless most of the time but we still love her dearly.
What I once thought would be sacrifices just aren't. I thought I would resent having to give up being able to go and do whenever I want. I don't because there's nowhere I'd rather be than with my daughter. When baby was gassy and fussy no matter what I did and I realized I would need to give up dairy, I thought it would be impossible. It's not because I see how much happier and calmer my daughter is without it in my diet. I realize I would move heaven and earth to make sure she's taken care of, even if it means I go without certain things I used to have or do.
It's going to take some time getting adjusted to my new surroundings in this 'hood, but in a strange way it feels like I've always lived here. Well, I know there's nowhere else I'd rather be anyway.
Showing posts with label life in general. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life in general. Show all posts
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
quiet time...
...is something that I have come to value greatly. And it isn't too hard to get.
I woke up really early this morning. I guess it isn't all that surprising since I fell asleep really early last night, but I digress. Early mornings are my favorite because I get time alone in the quiet. Well, for now anyway. My husband is sleeping, and the only noises I hear are some household appliances that are running and my tapping on the keyboard. Glorious.
Quiet time is wonderful. There is so much noise and hub-bub going on that sometimes getting a little peace and quiet is a gift. No TV. No music. No conversation. Just me, my thoughts, and a the ability to enjoy some time with God.
The noise of the world definitely drowns out the voice of God. But here, in my quiet time, I can hear Him. I can feel His divine hand in my life, especially when I feel my little miracle of a daughter rolling and moving around in my belly. It will be so strange when I don't have that connection with her anymore.
Quiet time allows me to read the Scriptures and reflect on what God wants me to learn. Today I read Matthew 16 as part of a 100-day reading challenge our church gave to the congregation. In Matthew 16, the message I took away from it was that sometimes there are trials and discomforts that we must face in our walks with God that the world may not want us to endure. Our call is to persevere and not allow the comforts of the world deter us from facing those trials and becoming stronger on the other side as a result. Peter tries to tell Jesus that he shouldn't have to face the end-of-life trials he foretells to the disciples, and Jesus' response? "Get behind me Satan." To Peter. The man He calls, in verses just prior to that, the Rock of his church. The cornerstone on which the future Christian movement would be built (check out Acts 2 for one of Peter's finer moments in living out this calling...the Day of Pentecost).
It is a blessing to have some time to collect yourself and do something meaningful in the quiet. What will you do to take advantage? How can you be still and find some solace in the silence today?
I woke up really early this morning. I guess it isn't all that surprising since I fell asleep really early last night, but I digress. Early mornings are my favorite because I get time alone in the quiet. Well, for now anyway. My husband is sleeping, and the only noises I hear are some household appliances that are running and my tapping on the keyboard. Glorious.
Quiet time is wonderful. There is so much noise and hub-bub going on that sometimes getting a little peace and quiet is a gift. No TV. No music. No conversation. Just me, my thoughts, and a the ability to enjoy some time with God.
The noise of the world definitely drowns out the voice of God. But here, in my quiet time, I can hear Him. I can feel His divine hand in my life, especially when I feel my little miracle of a daughter rolling and moving around in my belly. It will be so strange when I don't have that connection with her anymore.
Quiet time allows me to read the Scriptures and reflect on what God wants me to learn. Today I read Matthew 16 as part of a 100-day reading challenge our church gave to the congregation. In Matthew 16, the message I took away from it was that sometimes there are trials and discomforts that we must face in our walks with God that the world may not want us to endure. Our call is to persevere and not allow the comforts of the world deter us from facing those trials and becoming stronger on the other side as a result. Peter tries to tell Jesus that he shouldn't have to face the end-of-life trials he foretells to the disciples, and Jesus' response? "Get behind me Satan." To Peter. The man He calls, in verses just prior to that, the Rock of his church. The cornerstone on which the future Christian movement would be built (check out Acts 2 for one of Peter's finer moments in living out this calling...the Day of Pentecost).
It is a blessing to have some time to collect yourself and do something meaningful in the quiet. What will you do to take advantage? How can you be still and find some solace in the silence today?
Thursday, August 25, 2011
miscellany and potpurri...
...yeah, kind of like the Jeopardy category. What's been on Sandi's mind lately for $500, Alex?
In short, mostly the impending birth of my daughter. But there have been a lot of other things going through my mind, too. A sampling of my mental potpurri can be found below.
Apologies. It's interesting. There was a day when I was in an argument with the hubs about apologizing. I know, strange what one argues with her significant other about when under the influence of fetus. He had done something that hurt my feelings, and I thought he should apologize. He didn't want to apologize because he thought he hadn't done anything wrong and didn't want it to be an empty apology. I wish I could say this ended happily (it didn't...well not until much later). But it got me thinking about how if it were a work situation where a customer/parent/whoever was complaining to either one of us about something that had offended them, we would apologize for the issue and set about correcting it for that person (even if we didn't think they were right about it). I don't understand why sometimes it is so much easier for us to treat strangers better than those we claim we care the most about. Side note: While this argument wasn't necessarily a "win" for me, at the end of the day I still very much adore and respect my husband for being willing to stick to his guns. I wouldn't want him to lie to me and say he's sorry when he isn't either.
Weight. I had hoped to resolve my hate/loathe relationship with the bathroom scale by the time my pregnancy came to an end, but alas the scale has won this battle. Sandi - 0. Scale -1. The strange thing in all of this is that gaining so much weight helped me to gain a little perspective too (pun intended). As the weight packed on, my workouts at the gym became markedly more difficult. I felt more pain in my joints and less and less able to keep up with what I had been able to do fifty pounds lighter (no, that's not a typo). I think in the long run this is going to help me to be a more effective coach in my group fitness classes. It is going to help me empathize with my larger participants and help me to offer them options that will prevent injury and/or excessive soreness post-workout.
Childbirth. I guess I never realized how granola and earthy I really am until I started to really think about childbirth. Here's the deal. I always assumed I'd be the "induce my labor and get me an epidural so I can be a mommy" mom. The more I learned about both, the less and less I want either. No woman has been pregnant forever, even if it feels like I have been at times. My baby and my body know what to do. Labor will start when my baby is good and ready to make her appearance in this world. I was built to deliver this baby without medication, even though they don't call it labor for nothing. So after a lot of reading and exploring, I've decided that I want to have as natural of a childbirth as I can assuming there is no medical reason that comes up to prevent it. My biggest concern is and continues to be that I will need a C-section. Why, you ask? At 29 weeks we found out our baby was in a breech presentation, but as of last week's appointment she had turned head down. While I'm hopeful/confident she'll stay this way, I can help but feel a nagging fear that I'm going to have to be cut open. No. thank. you. I'd rather sacrifice my lady bits to the birthing process than have a 4-6 inch scar and major abdominal surgery to deliver my baby.
Parenthood. I'll be moving to a new 'hood in about a month from now. The parenthood. The daunting task of actually raising and being responsible for a human life is a little overwhelming to me. I know I'll figure it out and that there are plenty of people who have survived it before me (and continue to survive it). I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time. I still can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.
Leadership. There have been a few opportunities lately for me to learn more about the abstract concept of leadership. What it is. What it isn't. What it looks like when it's effective. How to deal with difficult personalities. How to develop superior work teams. And you know what I've discovered? What I don't know and can't do far outweighs what I do know and can do. I heard that at the Global Leadership Summit in early August, and it really impacted me. I also discovered that I'm kind of a huge fan of learning, especially about leadership.
Anyway, there's the fragrant mental potpurri that's been brewing for the past 10 weeks. I will do my best to keep posting as the pregnancy draws closer to its end and the day I will offically be someone's mother gets here.
In short, mostly the impending birth of my daughter. But there have been a lot of other things going through my mind, too. A sampling of my mental potpurri can be found below.
Apologies. It's interesting. There was a day when I was in an argument with the hubs about apologizing. I know, strange what one argues with her significant other about when under the influence of fetus. He had done something that hurt my feelings, and I thought he should apologize. He didn't want to apologize because he thought he hadn't done anything wrong and didn't want it to be an empty apology. I wish I could say this ended happily (it didn't...well not until much later). But it got me thinking about how if it were a work situation where a customer/parent/whoever was complaining to either one of us about something that had offended them, we would apologize for the issue and set about correcting it for that person (even if we didn't think they were right about it). I don't understand why sometimes it is so much easier for us to treat strangers better than those we claim we care the most about. Side note: While this argument wasn't necessarily a "win" for me, at the end of the day I still very much adore and respect my husband for being willing to stick to his guns. I wouldn't want him to lie to me and say he's sorry when he isn't either.
Weight. I had hoped to resolve my hate/loathe relationship with the bathroom scale by the time my pregnancy came to an end, but alas the scale has won this battle. Sandi - 0. Scale -1. The strange thing in all of this is that gaining so much weight helped me to gain a little perspective too (pun intended). As the weight packed on, my workouts at the gym became markedly more difficult. I felt more pain in my joints and less and less able to keep up with what I had been able to do fifty pounds lighter (no, that's not a typo). I think in the long run this is going to help me to be a more effective coach in my group fitness classes. It is going to help me empathize with my larger participants and help me to offer them options that will prevent injury and/or excessive soreness post-workout.
Childbirth. I guess I never realized how granola and earthy I really am until I started to really think about childbirth. Here's the deal. I always assumed I'd be the "induce my labor and get me an epidural so I can be a mommy" mom. The more I learned about both, the less and less I want either. No woman has been pregnant forever, even if it feels like I have been at times. My baby and my body know what to do. Labor will start when my baby is good and ready to make her appearance in this world. I was built to deliver this baby without medication, even though they don't call it labor for nothing. So after a lot of reading and exploring, I've decided that I want to have as natural of a childbirth as I can assuming there is no medical reason that comes up to prevent it. My biggest concern is and continues to be that I will need a C-section. Why, you ask? At 29 weeks we found out our baby was in a breech presentation, but as of last week's appointment she had turned head down. While I'm hopeful/confident she'll stay this way, I can help but feel a nagging fear that I'm going to have to be cut open. No. thank. you. I'd rather sacrifice my lady bits to the birthing process than have a 4-6 inch scar and major abdominal surgery to deliver my baby.
Parenthood. I'll be moving to a new 'hood in about a month from now. The parenthood. The daunting task of actually raising and being responsible for a human life is a little overwhelming to me. I know I'll figure it out and that there are plenty of people who have survived it before me (and continue to survive it). I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time. I still can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.
Leadership. There have been a few opportunities lately for me to learn more about the abstract concept of leadership. What it is. What it isn't. What it looks like when it's effective. How to deal with difficult personalities. How to develop superior work teams. And you know what I've discovered? What I don't know and can't do far outweighs what I do know and can do. I heard that at the Global Leadership Summit in early August, and it really impacted me. I also discovered that I'm kind of a huge fan of learning, especially about leadership.
Anyway, there's the fragrant mental potpurri that's been brewing for the past 10 weeks. I will do my best to keep posting as the pregnancy draws closer to its end and the day I will offically be someone's mother gets here.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
(not so) early to bed...
...early to rise. I'm still waiting on the healthy, wealthy, and wise part. Ok, maybe just the last two.
Lately I have been falling asleep at later than normal (for me) times. We're talking after 10 pm. I know, I know...I'm one helluva party animal. It's how the suburban, married, and pregnant folk roll. I'm usually pretty dead to the world by 10 pm, if not earlier, so this has been strange.
But stranger still is the fact that I have been waking up early (5 am or so) without my alarm clock and feeling wide awake. You might be thinking, "Well, yeah, everyone is waking up earlier on their own. It's summer time. The sun is rising earlier." That would be a valid point if I were sleeping a room without blackout curtains. I'm sleeping in a cave. I can sort of tell it's light out by the little bit of sun that pokes through the bottom edges of the curtains. Sort of.
Along with this strangeness is the fact that I've been sleeping better than normal. Background: I am a light sleeper. And it usually takes me a looong time to fall asleep. Well, longer than my husband anyway. His deep breathing when he falls asleep was enough to keep me from falling asleep even longer, thus frustrating me more (not frustrated with him, just the inability to fall asleep). So I've been sleeping with ear plugs for about 6 years now. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without my foam ear plugs. Even still, there are noises that aren't completely blocked out that will wake me up. Not lately, though. I've been sleeping more heavily, even with my 26 weeks pregnant belly that likes to impede my rolling over. And did I mention my ninja baby? Hi-ya!
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining, just fascinated. I never considered myself a morning person...or a night person. I always considered myself more a "middle of the day" person. Slow to really get going and then firing on all pistons during the day and running out of juice sometime around 8 pm or so, sometimes earlier. In recent weeks, I've found myself uber productive in the mornings at home, getting the most done first thing at work, slogging through a wall of no energy or motivation midafternoon, and then re-energizing after having dinner with the hubs and unwinding from the work day. I like the change. I feel like I'm getting more done than I ever did before.
I guess circadian rhythms can change just like one's tastebuds do over time.
Lately I have been falling asleep at later than normal (for me) times. We're talking after 10 pm. I know, I know...I'm one helluva party animal. It's how the suburban, married, and pregnant folk roll. I'm usually pretty dead to the world by 10 pm, if not earlier, so this has been strange.
But stranger still is the fact that I have been waking up early (5 am or so) without my alarm clock and feeling wide awake. You might be thinking, "Well, yeah, everyone is waking up earlier on their own. It's summer time. The sun is rising earlier." That would be a valid point if I were sleeping a room without blackout curtains. I'm sleeping in a cave. I can sort of tell it's light out by the little bit of sun that pokes through the bottom edges of the curtains. Sort of.
Along with this strangeness is the fact that I've been sleeping better than normal. Background: I am a light sleeper. And it usually takes me a looong time to fall asleep. Well, longer than my husband anyway. His deep breathing when he falls asleep was enough to keep me from falling asleep even longer, thus frustrating me more (not frustrated with him, just the inability to fall asleep). So I've been sleeping with ear plugs for about 6 years now. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without my foam ear plugs. Even still, there are noises that aren't completely blocked out that will wake me up. Not lately, though. I've been sleeping more heavily, even with my 26 weeks pregnant belly that likes to impede my rolling over. And did I mention my ninja baby? Hi-ya!
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining, just fascinated. I never considered myself a morning person...or a night person. I always considered myself more a "middle of the day" person. Slow to really get going and then firing on all pistons during the day and running out of juice sometime around 8 pm or so, sometimes earlier. In recent weeks, I've found myself uber productive in the mornings at home, getting the most done first thing at work, slogging through a wall of no energy or motivation midafternoon, and then re-energizing after having dinner with the hubs and unwinding from the work day. I like the change. I feel like I'm getting more done than I ever did before.
I guess circadian rhythms can change just like one's tastebuds do over time.
Friday, April 29, 2011
what are you waiting for, huh?
...I think this blog title is some kind of taunt from a victim to a psycho in a horror film. I could be wrong.
Nonetheless, what was I waiting for? Per my usual M.O., I overloaded my life with craziness and haven't had time to do anything but a fast-food drive-thru blog. Pathetic, really. And perhaps a sign that I need to slow down, especially since I'm at the halfway point of my pregnancy. Nah...that's crazy talk.
But I suppose I should at least catch up with where I left off at the last blog.
Four weeks ago I was relaxing in San Jose, CA with Kelsey. We had a fantastic weekend! I saw Black Swan for the first time (again, what was I waiting for, huh?), got a whirlwind walking tour of SJSU and San Francisco, spent an afternoon in Santa Cruz enjoying food on the pier and watching Kelsey get pooped on by seagulls, laughed at an Anjelah Johnson show at The Improv, went toe-to-toe with a surly car rental agent to get some money back (and won), and then spent a day relaxing before flying home to be back with hubby. Amazing.
Since then, I have had three of the most whirlwind weeks at work and at home. Golf tournament. Meetings. Three-day management training. Meetings. Awards breakfast attended by 600 people. Meetings. Projects. Meetings. Planning for Summer Day Camp (yikes...only 18 days of school left!). Meetings. Bittersweet going away party for one of my favorite Branch Executives. Meetings. Surprise party for my step dad. Meetings. Easter. And did I mention meetings?
This week, Steven and I went for our anatomy ultrasound and got to see our baby as an actual baby (compared to the tadpole alien looking thing it was at 7 weeks). SHE is healthy! She! I'm going to have a daughter. More crazy talk. I can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.
In the spirit of staying consistent with buseyness, on the slate for this weekend is a build with Habitat for Humanity, spending time with one of Steven's friends at the movies, and then enjoying the beginning of May.
MAY?!?! How did that happen?
Time to slow down and smell the roses. And maybe start the baby registry.
Nonetheless, what was I waiting for? Per my usual M.O., I overloaded my life with craziness and haven't had time to do anything but a fast-food drive-thru blog. Pathetic, really. And perhaps a sign that I need to slow down, especially since I'm at the halfway point of my pregnancy. Nah...that's crazy talk.
But I suppose I should at least catch up with where I left off at the last blog.
Four weeks ago I was relaxing in San Jose, CA with Kelsey. We had a fantastic weekend! I saw Black Swan for the first time (again, what was I waiting for, huh?), got a whirlwind walking tour of SJSU and San Francisco, spent an afternoon in Santa Cruz enjoying food on the pier and watching Kelsey get pooped on by seagulls, laughed at an Anjelah Johnson show at The Improv, went toe-to-toe with a surly car rental agent to get some money back (and won), and then spent a day relaxing before flying home to be back with hubby. Amazing.
Since then, I have had three of the most whirlwind weeks at work and at home. Golf tournament. Meetings. Three-day management training. Meetings. Awards breakfast attended by 600 people. Meetings. Projects. Meetings. Planning for Summer Day Camp (yikes...only 18 days of school left!). Meetings. Bittersweet going away party for one of my favorite Branch Executives. Meetings. Surprise party for my step dad. Meetings. Easter. And did I mention meetings?
This week, Steven and I went for our anatomy ultrasound and got to see our baby as an actual baby (compared to the tadpole alien looking thing it was at 7 weeks). SHE is healthy! She! I'm going to have a daughter. More crazy talk. I can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.
In the spirit of staying consistent with buseyness, on the slate for this weekend is a build with Habitat for Humanity, spending time with one of Steven's friends at the movies, and then enjoying the beginning of May.
MAY?!?! How did that happen?
Time to slow down and smell the roses. And maybe start the baby registry.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
fast food drive thru blog...
...a quickie to appease the appetite of my few readers. I know you're hungry for content.
- went on vacation for 4 days to visit my best friend Kelsey. more detailed awesomeness to follow.
- work is keeping me busy.
- marriage is keeping me happy and (somewhat) sane
- baby and I are healthy
- I am loving life
Okay, that's all for now since I have to run off to work. But I PROMISE to come back soon and fill in more details. Like I said, awesomeness to follow. At least I think so anyway.
Friday, March 18, 2011
breaking the silence...
...with a fat bottle of sparking cider. It's time to celebrate!
Why are we celebrating? For one, tomorrow is my birthday. And why sparkling cider instead of a bottle of champagne or a cheap bottle of liquor in a little brown bag (gotta stay classy)? Because I'm 13 weeks pregnant.
Wait! Rewind! Did I just say it's my birthday tomorrow? Yes I did. And I'll be a whole lotta 27 years old.
Oh. You were more surprised by the announcement that I'm pregnant? I suppose I should have expected that. But before I address this miraculous and exciting news, I want to spend a little time in retrospective mode.
So, each year I kind of view my birthday as my New Year's Day. Most people do that cliche thing where the new year is January 1, and while I appreciate that day's opportunity for reflection and resolution, I much prefer to use my birthday. Color me rogue.
Twenty-six was a roller coaster ride of a year, and it was an amazing year of growth and personal resolve. I wove the story of my first pregnancy and resulting miscarriage here, and let's just say that the experience left me feeling broken but also provided for the most significant period of personal growth in my life to date. It opened my eyes to just how ridiculously selfish I can be. Seriously people, I was yelling at pregnant women out of jealousy and unmitigated rage over my loss. There were moments where I made friends angry, words that were spat venomously out of my mouth led to tears in others' eyes, and gave me such a slap-in-the-face reality check about the depravity of my situation that I couldn't help but change. Grow up. Get over myself.
The past year also instilled in me a sense of resolve. Once I stopped blaming God for my loss and could read my Bible without wanting to hurl it across the room, I spent time meditating on Scripture. I found myself hearing the still, small voice of the Lord prompting me to get back in relationship with Him because He never left me, even when I pushed him far away. I learned that He never promised that we wouldn't experience pain and loss, but He promised that through it all he'd be at our sides. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4.
This realization led me to be able to climb up out of the muck and trust that all would turn out okay. I started to recall other verses that provide me peace when I feel like the world is crumbling around me. "The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14; "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28, 30. I realize that not all my friends out there believe in God and that's okay. I just hope that like me you have something to hold onto and put your faith in when the world around you feels like it's falling apart.
My 27-years-old New Year resolution? To become a better version of me. To continue to grow. To continue to place my faith and hope in something bigger than myself that I know I can trust (read: God). And to prepare myself to be a good mommy.
Okay, okay...back to the happy news about being pregnant. After the day of days, I felt closure and relief. I was able to relax and move on. But there was a part of me that still hurt about not being a mom when I could have been.
Fast forward to MLK Day weekend, and the monthly visitor from Hades still hadn't made her grand appearance two days after she was due. I decided to take a test just to see. I had a feeling "this could be it!" but I tried not to get too excited.
What do you know? The stick turned blue!
I felt like I was holding my breath for the first few weeks while we waited for our first ultrasound, but on February 2 Steven and I got to see our little alien baby at 7 weeks (it doesn't look remotely human this early on) and hear its tiny little heart beat. I pretty much melted into a mess of happiness, but managed not to lose it crying in the ultrasound room.
More breath holding as we rode out the next 5 weeks and went back for an appointment last week. 12 weeks. A pretty monumental week. Although not officially the end of the first trimester, a pretty significant day nonetheless. The MA found the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler, and again it was music. I could listen to that little lub-dub all day long.
Anyway, the big due date is September 22. I am really looking forward to the life changes this new year of mine has to bring. And I really hope I manage to keep up this growth kick I've been on (not just physically...a thank you!).
Why are we celebrating? For one, tomorrow is my birthday. And why sparkling cider instead of a bottle of champagne or a cheap bottle of liquor in a little brown bag (gotta stay classy)? Because I'm 13 weeks pregnant.
Wait! Rewind! Did I just say it's my birthday tomorrow? Yes I did. And I'll be a whole lotta 27 years old.
Oh. You were more surprised by the announcement that I'm pregnant? I suppose I should have expected that. But before I address this miraculous and exciting news, I want to spend a little time in retrospective mode.
So, each year I kind of view my birthday as my New Year's Day. Most people do that cliche thing where the new year is January 1, and while I appreciate that day's opportunity for reflection and resolution, I much prefer to use my birthday. Color me rogue.
Twenty-six was a roller coaster ride of a year, and it was an amazing year of growth and personal resolve. I wove the story of my first pregnancy and resulting miscarriage here, and let's just say that the experience left me feeling broken but also provided for the most significant period of personal growth in my life to date. It opened my eyes to just how ridiculously selfish I can be. Seriously people, I was yelling at pregnant women out of jealousy and unmitigated rage over my loss. There were moments where I made friends angry, words that were spat venomously out of my mouth led to tears in others' eyes, and gave me such a slap-in-the-face reality check about the depravity of my situation that I couldn't help but change. Grow up. Get over myself.
The past year also instilled in me a sense of resolve. Once I stopped blaming God for my loss and could read my Bible without wanting to hurl it across the room, I spent time meditating on Scripture. I found myself hearing the still, small voice of the Lord prompting me to get back in relationship with Him because He never left me, even when I pushed him far away. I learned that He never promised that we wouldn't experience pain and loss, but He promised that through it all he'd be at our sides. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4.
This realization led me to be able to climb up out of the muck and trust that all would turn out okay. I started to recall other verses that provide me peace when I feel like the world is crumbling around me. "The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14; "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28, 30. I realize that not all my friends out there believe in God and that's okay. I just hope that like me you have something to hold onto and put your faith in when the world around you feels like it's falling apart.
My 27-years-old New Year resolution? To become a better version of me. To continue to grow. To continue to place my faith and hope in something bigger than myself that I know I can trust (read: God). And to prepare myself to be a good mommy.
Okay, okay...back to the happy news about being pregnant. After the day of days, I felt closure and relief. I was able to relax and move on. But there was a part of me that still hurt about not being a mom when I could have been.
Fast forward to MLK Day weekend, and the monthly visitor from Hades still hadn't made her grand appearance two days after she was due. I decided to take a test just to see. I had a feeling "this could be it!" but I tried not to get too excited.
What do you know? The stick turned blue!
I felt like I was holding my breath for the first few weeks while we waited for our first ultrasound, but on February 2 Steven and I got to see our little alien baby at 7 weeks (it doesn't look remotely human this early on) and hear its tiny little heart beat. I pretty much melted into a mess of happiness, but managed not to lose it crying in the ultrasound room.
More breath holding as we rode out the next 5 weeks and went back for an appointment last week. 12 weeks. A pretty monumental week. Although not officially the end of the first trimester, a pretty significant day nonetheless. The MA found the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler, and again it was music. I could listen to that little lub-dub all day long.
Anyway, the big due date is September 22. I am really looking forward to the life changes this new year of mine has to bring. And I really hope I manage to keep up this growth kick I've been on (not just physically...a thank you!).
Thursday, December 30, 2010
in my rearview...
...I watched the lights of Queen Creek fade into the distance. And then my eyes started to water.
Remember a couple of weeks ago when I posted about the day of days? At the end of it, I talked about how beauty came from the pain and not in the way I expected. I had a good day that day in the face of the sadness I had in my soul, but I couldn't divulge the details about why or how it was a good day.
I guess now I should share. Sit back for show and tell, blog friends.
Back in October, when I was still off the blogging radar, an incredible opportunity to advance my career with the Boys & Girls Club presented itself. The person in my position at a large club had been promoted, so his position opened up. I had a feeling this person (hi Mark!) was going to get the promotion. I knew that would mean his job would open up. And then I paused. Thought about the implications for me. For my current club. For the community I serve. All that to say that well before the opportunity presented itself, I had time to consider the what ifs. What if it did?
When the position posted, I sent in my resume and letter of interest the same day. It was too good to pass up.
Two months and two interviews later, on the day of days, I heard the magic words.
"We would like to offer you the position."
I said yes 2.5 miliseconds later. Lots of happy celebrating followed, but all on the inside. I had to keep my mouth shut about the big move until the official announcement went out five very long days later.
Fast forward to yesterday.
Yesterday was my last full day as the Branch Executive in Queen Creek. It was a good day, and it was raining all afternoon. I found myself with watery eyes when I didn't expect them. The strange thing is that the kids didn't seem all that broken up about me leaving. I guess it won't really sink in for them until next week when I'm really not there. Either that or they really won't miss me. I think it's the former based on the art the kids made for me to take to my new office.
After Club hours, I went back to my office and started to pack up my things. And then I sat there and stared at the walls for close to an hour to make sure I got everything. Plus I couldn't bring myself to get up and leave. Then it would be real. I took care of random things to postpone my leaving, like changing my email signature and organizing drawers and cabinets. I found a lot of random things I had forgotten about, too. Two boxes of stuff and two hours later, I finally hoofed it out of the office and started to drive home.
It wasn't until I was on my way out of Queen Creek watching it from my rearview mirror that I started to cry. Nothing dramatic or over the top. Just a little wetness in my eyes as I was mourning the end of a really great chapter in my life. I have a lot of memories in Queen Creek, and I look forward to making more in Gilbert.
New year, new job, new opportunities. I guess I should stop looking back and face forward.
Remember a couple of weeks ago when I posted about the day of days? At the end of it, I talked about how beauty came from the pain and not in the way I expected. I had a good day that day in the face of the sadness I had in my soul, but I couldn't divulge the details about why or how it was a good day.
I guess now I should share. Sit back for show and tell, blog friends.
Back in October, when I was still off the blogging radar, an incredible opportunity to advance my career with the Boys & Girls Club presented itself. The person in my position at a large club had been promoted, so his position opened up. I had a feeling this person (hi Mark!) was going to get the promotion. I knew that would mean his job would open up. And then I paused. Thought about the implications for me. For my current club. For the community I serve. All that to say that well before the opportunity presented itself, I had time to consider the what ifs. What if it did?
When the position posted, I sent in my resume and letter of interest the same day. It was too good to pass up.
Two months and two interviews later, on the day of days, I heard the magic words.
"We would like to offer you the position."
I said yes 2.5 miliseconds later. Lots of happy celebrating followed, but all on the inside. I had to keep my mouth shut about the big move until the official announcement went out five very long days later.
Fast forward to yesterday.
Yesterday was my last full day as the Branch Executive in Queen Creek. It was a good day, and it was raining all afternoon. I found myself with watery eyes when I didn't expect them. The strange thing is that the kids didn't seem all that broken up about me leaving. I guess it won't really sink in for them until next week when I'm really not there. Either that or they really won't miss me. I think it's the former based on the art the kids made for me to take to my new office.
After Club hours, I went back to my office and started to pack up my things. And then I sat there and stared at the walls for close to an hour to make sure I got everything. Plus I couldn't bring myself to get up and leave. Then it would be real. I took care of random things to postpone my leaving, like changing my email signature and organizing drawers and cabinets. I found a lot of random things I had forgotten about, too. Two boxes of stuff and two hours later, I finally hoofed it out of the office and started to drive home.
It wasn't until I was on my way out of Queen Creek watching it from my rearview mirror that I started to cry. Nothing dramatic or over the top. Just a little wetness in my eyes as I was mourning the end of a really great chapter in my life. I have a lot of memories in Queen Creek, and I look forward to making more in Gilbert.
New year, new job, new opportunities. I guess I should stop looking back and face forward.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
we wish you a merry christmas...
...and a happy new year!
I L.O.V.E. Christmas time. I know some of my friends out there aren't huge fans of the yuletide season (hi Mike!), but I am a huge sucker for this time of year. And birthdays. Why? One reason: gift giving. I love to give gifts. Some would say it's a love language near the top of my list, second only to acts of service. But I am getting off track.
One of the downsides to being an uber-efficient, type-A machine is that I get my shopping done. Early. Not day-after-Christmas-for-the-next-year early, but still with plenty of time to spare. The nieces and nephews have been done since Black Friday. Babies and toddlers are easy. I could get the two little dudes a cardboard box and they'd be entertained for hours. The other babies are too little (or still in utero like baby Abby), so they wouldn't know the difference. But I still do more than a empty box with a little wrapping paper and a bow. What can I say? Being an aunt is pretty rad, and I love spoiling the little peanuts.
In my opinion, the best part of the holiday melee is the shopping. Making the lists. Checking them twice. Buying a gift for you whether you're naughty or nice. Let's be honest - that's Santa's M.O. too. Not to mention the life-risking activity of finding parking at the mall. It's crazy out there.
Because the 6 kids in my family decided we'd rather adopt a family than exchange DVD's and gift cards to the movies with each other for the 8th or 9th year in a row, I didn't have a lot of people left to shop for. As of today, the rest of my list consisted of my dad, the in-laws, the newest foster nephew I have dubbed "the little man," a gag gift for the white elephant exchange, and me (yes, you read that correctly. "me" is the last person on my list).
My younger sister, Jessi (read her fantastic blog here), and I went out this morning and knocked out dad's gift in 5.7 seconds flat. I think. I can't confirm because I left my stopwatch at the...um...ok I don't have a stopwatch. You caught me. We also got the little man some gift action and took care of one part of the in-laws. After that, I went out for lunch with my best friend, Kelsey.
And now for a word from the pages of history...
Kelsey and I have been friends since we were 11. We're talking 15 years and counting now. We've been through a lot together, and we've tried our hands at being architects, dancers, trampoline gymnasts, radio DJs, detectives, and the next great-American writers. All before the age of 15. You can see how well all of that panned out for us. Anyway, when we graduated from high school, she moved to San Jose, CA to go to college. And then she graduated and stayed put. She's been up there for 8 years now, and we always reconnect when she comes home. Usually it consisted of sitting in Starbucks until the baristas (sort of) politely asked us to leave so they could close, which meant that we left smelling of coffee beans and conversation with great friends. Since we've gotten "real" jobs, now we usually meet over a meal and then go out to do other things afterward. Below is a picture of the two of us sitting in the rain at the Ironman Triathlon last month while we waited for her dad to make his second loop through the marathon.
Back to our regularly scheduled bloggy programming...
Kelsey and I took out the rest of the list with relative ease. In-laws? Done. Gag gift for the white elephant exchange? Done and uh-mazing. I think it will be the stuff of legends. I'll post pics later. Kelsey's shopping? Sort of done. Me? Done.
Ok, I suppose I should explain me shopping for myself. All I wanted for Christmas was a plane ticket to go visit Kelsey. Steven granted my holiday wish! So today while we were together, I sat down with Kelsey and showed her when I want to come visit, and then I booked the ticket. Signed. Sealed. Confirmation delivered to my e-mail inbox. Life is good.
Now I sit at home with my yet-to-be-wrapped treasures waiting in the living room. Steven should be home soon, and it feels so good to be done shopping and ready for Christmas. The next couple of days will be filled with family, festivities, and most of all fun. I can't wait!
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
I L.O.V.E. Christmas time. I know some of my friends out there aren't huge fans of the yuletide season (hi Mike!), but I am a huge sucker for this time of year. And birthdays. Why? One reason: gift giving. I love to give gifts. Some would say it's a love language near the top of my list, second only to acts of service. But I am getting off track.
One of the downsides to being an uber-efficient, type-A machine is that I get my shopping done. Early. Not day-after-Christmas-for-the-next-year early, but still with plenty of time to spare. The nieces and nephews have been done since Black Friday. Babies and toddlers are easy. I could get the two little dudes a cardboard box and they'd be entertained for hours. The other babies are too little (or still in utero like baby Abby), so they wouldn't know the difference. But I still do more than a empty box with a little wrapping paper and a bow. What can I say? Being an aunt is pretty rad, and I love spoiling the little peanuts.
In my opinion, the best part of the holiday melee is the shopping. Making the lists. Checking them twice. Buying a gift for you whether you're naughty or nice. Let's be honest - that's Santa's M.O. too. Not to mention the life-risking activity of finding parking at the mall. It's crazy out there.
Because the 6 kids in my family decided we'd rather adopt a family than exchange DVD's and gift cards to the movies with each other for the 8th or 9th year in a row, I didn't have a lot of people left to shop for. As of today, the rest of my list consisted of my dad, the in-laws, the newest foster nephew I have dubbed "the little man," a gag gift for the white elephant exchange, and me (yes, you read that correctly. "me" is the last person on my list).
My younger sister, Jessi (read her fantastic blog here), and I went out this morning and knocked out dad's gift in 5.7 seconds flat. I think. I can't confirm because I left my stopwatch at the...um...ok I don't have a stopwatch. You caught me. We also got the little man some gift action and took care of one part of the in-laws. After that, I went out for lunch with my best friend, Kelsey.
And now for a word from the pages of history...
Kelsey and I have been friends since we were 11. We're talking 15 years and counting now. We've been through a lot together, and we've tried our hands at being architects, dancers, trampoline gymnasts, radio DJs, detectives, and the next great-American writers. All before the age of 15. You can see how well all of that panned out for us. Anyway, when we graduated from high school, she moved to San Jose, CA to go to college. And then she graduated and stayed put. She's been up there for 8 years now, and we always reconnect when she comes home. Usually it consisted of sitting in Starbucks until the baristas (sort of) politely asked us to leave so they could close, which meant that we left smelling of coffee beans and conversation with great friends. Since we've gotten "real" jobs, now we usually meet over a meal and then go out to do other things afterward. Below is a picture of the two of us sitting in the rain at the Ironman Triathlon last month while we waited for her dad to make his second loop through the marathon.
Back to our regularly scheduled bloggy programming...
Kelsey and I took out the rest of the list with relative ease. In-laws? Done. Gag gift for the white elephant exchange? Done and uh-mazing. I think it will be the stuff of legends. I'll post pics later. Kelsey's shopping? Sort of done. Me? Done.
Ok, I suppose I should explain me shopping for myself. All I wanted for Christmas was a plane ticket to go visit Kelsey. Steven granted my holiday wish! So today while we were together, I sat down with Kelsey and showed her when I want to come visit, and then I booked the ticket. Signed. Sealed. Confirmation delivered to my e-mail inbox. Life is good.
Now I sit at home with my yet-to-be-wrapped treasures waiting in the living room. Steven should be home soon, and it feels so good to be done shopping and ready for Christmas. The next couple of days will be filled with family, festivities, and most of all fun. I can't wait!
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
day of days
The past couple of weeks I have spent dreading December 15. It may seem like any other day to you, or it could be your birthday as it is for four of my friends today (thank you, Facebook). Today was the day I was supposed to become a mom. Well, until I wasn't.
I fell off of blogging earlier this year about a month before I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Steven and I were over the moon. We'd been trying/not trying and seeing what happens/maybe we'll never have kids but let's just have sex anyway/whatever for 2 years, finally gave up, and then the stick turned blue (yes, yes. I can hear you loud and clear, mom. You told me so). I took the test expecting the same old rigmarole (NEGATIVE), so when it didn't turn out that way I was shocked. When I let Steven know (3.5 miliseconds after reading the pee stick result), it sounded more like a question. "I'm pregnant?"
Four weeks after the stick turned blue, after 4 doctors appointments, 3 ultrasounds, and a couple of blood tests, our obstetrician confirmed that we had lost the baby.
Just like that, the pregnancy and child that my husband and I had hoped for was gone.
Miscarriage is a crazy thing. I didn't realize that there were different types of miscarriage. I kind of assumed all along that they were all the same. Developing fetus one minute, not the next. I guess it all boils down to that eventually, but it's so much more complicated at the same time. The miscarriage I had is called a blighted ovum or early pregnancy failure. Essentially, there was something funky afoot chromosomally speaking that resulted in a baby never developing. All I had was a fertilized egg that became a gestational sac that implanted in my uterus, got my hormone factory all hot and frenzied, and then stopped developing. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this from happening. Let me tell you, lack of control over things is not my cup of tea. Knowing that I couldn't have done ANYTHING to prevent the pregnancy loss was devastating.
The other crazy thing about it is that it is a loss, there is grief/grieving involved, but there's no physical object to grieve. The expelled tissue was flushed like a deceased goldfish. I still feel a little guilty about it seven months later.
Why was there flushing of tissue involved? I'm getting to that.
I didn't have a D & C - dilation and curretage for those of you not in the know on the acronym...essentially the same surgical procedure as an abortion (lovely thought, right?) - although it was presented as one of my 3 choices for course of action after the miscarriage was confirmed. One of my other two choices was to wait it out. I considered it, but I felt increasingly more frustrated experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy knowing that nothing was going to come of it. I wasn't morning sick or anything, but I felt differently enough from normal to know the difference. The option I picked was a BRAND. NEW. CAR. Actually, it was medication that induced contractions and forced all the tissue out of my bun-baking oven. Lovely thought, right? It was equally lovely to experience the crippling cramping of uterine contractions and bleeding like crazy. I'll leave it at that.
I blame hormones, but I got all dark and twisty (thank you, Grey's Anatomy) after that. I was really depressed. And furiously angry. I even yelled at pregnant people for being pregnant. Way to stay classy. It was a chapter of my history where I believe I experienced the greatest growth of character I had to this point, but not without hitting some ugly lows and threatening some very dear relationships in the process. Thankfully, I have incredibly gracious friends who chose to love me through the ugly.
Early this fall, there was a day where I realized I hadn't thought about the fact that I wasn't pregnant for a few days. And I couldn't tell you how pregnant I would have been, which was something I had tracked (my brain wouldn't allow me to NOT think about it). Humpty dumpty had started to put the pieces together again. Yeah, there were times when a baby announcement or a person complaining about how miserable they were feeling at X stage in their pregnancy would touch the soft spots of my soul where I hadn't quite found ALL the pieces. I guess that's what happens when you break till you shatter.
All that feeling whole and (mostly) healed changed about 2 weeks ago when I realized December 15 was coming. The baby's due date. The day of days.
The Lord does not bring us to something if He is not willing to also bring us through said thing. "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23. I woke up this morning and told myself (and my Facebook status) that today was going to be a good day. While I can't divulge the details now, let's just say that today completely exceeded my expectations. Somehow there was beauty from my pain, but as always not in the way I expected.
I fell off of blogging earlier this year about a month before I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Steven and I were over the moon. We'd been trying/not trying and seeing what happens/maybe we'll never have kids but let's just have sex anyway/whatever for 2 years, finally gave up, and then the stick turned blue (yes, yes. I can hear you loud and clear, mom. You told me so). I took the test expecting the same old rigmarole (NEGATIVE), so when it didn't turn out that way I was shocked. When I let Steven know (3.5 miliseconds after reading the pee stick result), it sounded more like a question. "I'm pregnant?"
Four weeks after the stick turned blue, after 4 doctors appointments, 3 ultrasounds, and a couple of blood tests, our obstetrician confirmed that we had lost the baby.
Just like that, the pregnancy and child that my husband and I had hoped for was gone.
Miscarriage is a crazy thing. I didn't realize that there were different types of miscarriage. I kind of assumed all along that they were all the same. Developing fetus one minute, not the next. I guess it all boils down to that eventually, but it's so much more complicated at the same time. The miscarriage I had is called a blighted ovum or early pregnancy failure. Essentially, there was something funky afoot chromosomally speaking that resulted in a baby never developing. All I had was a fertilized egg that became a gestational sac that implanted in my uterus, got my hormone factory all hot and frenzied, and then stopped developing. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this from happening. Let me tell you, lack of control over things is not my cup of tea. Knowing that I couldn't have done ANYTHING to prevent the pregnancy loss was devastating.
The other crazy thing about it is that it is a loss, there is grief/grieving involved, but there's no physical object to grieve. The expelled tissue was flushed like a deceased goldfish. I still feel a little guilty about it seven months later.
Why was there flushing of tissue involved? I'm getting to that.
I didn't have a D & C - dilation and curretage for those of you not in the know on the acronym...essentially the same surgical procedure as an abortion (lovely thought, right?) - although it was presented as one of my 3 choices for course of action after the miscarriage was confirmed. One of my other two choices was to wait it out. I considered it, but I felt increasingly more frustrated experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy knowing that nothing was going to come of it. I wasn't morning sick or anything, but I felt differently enough from normal to know the difference. The option I picked was a BRAND. NEW. CAR. Actually, it was medication that induced contractions and forced all the tissue out of my bun-baking oven. Lovely thought, right? It was equally lovely to experience the crippling cramping of uterine contractions and bleeding like crazy. I'll leave it at that.
I blame hormones, but I got all dark and twisty (thank you, Grey's Anatomy) after that. I was really depressed. And furiously angry. I even yelled at pregnant people for being pregnant. Way to stay classy. It was a chapter of my history where I believe I experienced the greatest growth of character I had to this point, but not without hitting some ugly lows and threatening some very dear relationships in the process. Thankfully, I have incredibly gracious friends who chose to love me through the ugly.
Early this fall, there was a day where I realized I hadn't thought about the fact that I wasn't pregnant for a few days. And I couldn't tell you how pregnant I would have been, which was something I had tracked (my brain wouldn't allow me to NOT think about it). Humpty dumpty had started to put the pieces together again. Yeah, there were times when a baby announcement or a person complaining about how miserable they were feeling at X stage in their pregnancy would touch the soft spots of my soul where I hadn't quite found ALL the pieces. I guess that's what happens when you break till you shatter.
All that feeling whole and (mostly) healed changed about 2 weeks ago when I realized December 15 was coming. The baby's due date. The day of days.
The Lord does not bring us to something if He is not willing to also bring us through said thing. "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23. I woke up this morning and told myself (and my Facebook status) that today was going to be a good day. While I can't divulge the details now, let's just say that today completely exceeded my expectations. Somehow there was beauty from my pain, but as always not in the way I expected.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
my eyes are crossed and i think i feel brain matter oozing out of my ears...
Why is it that reading the same things over and over (online, no less) makes one feel cross-eyed?
I find that when I spend my work days in front of a computer screen, especially around budget drafting time when I have to stare at all those tiny, tiny numbers for hours on end, my eyes get tired. They may actually, really cross (I never check). Tonight was a foray into endless online psychology course grading. Of the same 3 assignments written by various students. 15 of them to be exact. I got through 10 before my brain felt like it was oozing out of my ears.
It's been quite the ride as Adjunct Faculty for Rio Salado so far. Just the fact that the title "Adjunct Faculty" is attached to my name is a bit strange. And having conversations with people where I reference "my students." It all seems horribly grown-upish. When did that happen?
Not that I'm complaining. This is a huge step in the "I think this is where I want my life to go" direction, that being a residential (full time) faculty member at a local community college. While it has managed to suck away what little, precious free time I may have thought I had, I know it will be worth it in the long run. For now it means grading stuff and managing my roster whenever I have a spare moment or five. For later it could mean a sweet gig working less than 9 months of the year and only 30 hours a week at that.
Although you all know me. I'd find ways to fill the rest of those hours.
I find that when I spend my work days in front of a computer screen, especially around budget drafting time when I have to stare at all those tiny, tiny numbers for hours on end, my eyes get tired. They may actually, really cross (I never check). Tonight was a foray into endless online psychology course grading. Of the same 3 assignments written by various students. 15 of them to be exact. I got through 10 before my brain felt like it was oozing out of my ears.
It's been quite the ride as Adjunct Faculty for Rio Salado so far. Just the fact that the title "Adjunct Faculty" is attached to my name is a bit strange. And having conversations with people where I reference "my students." It all seems horribly grown-upish. When did that happen?
Not that I'm complaining. This is a huge step in the "I think this is where I want my life to go" direction, that being a residential (full time) faculty member at a local community college. While it has managed to suck away what little, precious free time I may have thought I had, I know it will be worth it in the long run. For now it means grading stuff and managing my roster whenever I have a spare moment or five. For later it could mean a sweet gig working less than 9 months of the year and only 30 hours a week at that.
Although you all know me. I'd find ways to fill the rest of those hours.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
gee thanks...
Oh, mylanta. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The best part about that?
Three words.
Four. Day. Weekend.
I get a breather from my usual daily grind to catch up on life in general. And my other jobs.
I am thankful for the many sources of income for my family. Really. I am. I promise I'm not trying to convince myself. There's just a lot I have to do to keep up with the part-time jobs I have.
On tap for this weekend:
Three words.
Four. Day. Weekend.
I get a breather from my usual daily grind to catch up on life in general. And my other jobs.
I am thankful for the many sources of income for my family. Really. I am. I promise I'm not trying to convince myself. There's just a lot I have to do to keep up with the part-time jobs I have.
On tap for this weekend:
- family time all day tomorrow followed by a tryptophan coma
- decorating the homestead for Christmas
- going to the gym to run through the new BODYCOMBAT and BODYATTACK releases I received in the mail last week (Les Mills Christmas 4 times a year! squee!)
- catching up on Bible reading for the 6 weeks I slacked off
- grading student pre-tests for PSY 101
- teaching at the gym
- Christmas shopping!
- plenty of naps (it is a four-day weekend after all)
But through it all, I give thanks. Thanks for the wonderful people I have in my life. Thanks for the amazing opportunities I have to grow personally and professionally. Thanks for shelter, freedom, love, and the ability to be a crazy, type-A person who has a bit of a scheduling handicap. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
my brain is ready to tap out...
Ever have one (or three) of those days where all the work you have to do involves a helluva lot of thinking and at the end of it your brain is just tired? Yeah...it's been like that for a few days.
While I admit that my job keeps me (mostly) busy and (mostly) out of trouble, the work that I have to do on a daily basis doesn't tend to be all that mentally taxing. Seriously. I love what I do because of this. I got my fix of brainy work during my 4 years of college and 2 years of grad school. It's nice to get a brain-cation now. Not that I can work on autopilot, but I think you catch the drift. It's not like I'm the leader of the free world or anything...
This week, the story has changed a little bit. I have had to do some serious cranial calisthenics. If I haven't been in a meeting where I needed to be mentally alert, I've been trapped in front of my computer analyzing different finance things going on at the Club. Too many numbers, too many meetings, feeling mentally drained, ready for a nap.
Or maybe just dessert.
While I admit that my job keeps me (mostly) busy and (mostly) out of trouble, the work that I have to do on a daily basis doesn't tend to be all that mentally taxing. Seriously. I love what I do because of this. I got my fix of brainy work during my 4 years of college and 2 years of grad school. It's nice to get a brain-cation now. Not that I can work on autopilot, but I think you catch the drift. It's not like I'm the leader of the free world or anything...
This week, the story has changed a little bit. I have had to do some serious cranial calisthenics. If I haven't been in a meeting where I needed to be mentally alert, I've been trapped in front of my computer analyzing different finance things going on at the Club. Too many numbers, too many meetings, feeling mentally drained, ready for a nap.
Or maybe just dessert.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
so i'm kind of a rule follower...
My entire life I have been a bit of a rule follower. Understatement. I am a nervous nelly who strongly believes that rules are handed down for a reason. The reason? To be followed.
Yesterday the hubs and I took a hike out at the Wind Cave Trail in Usery Pass. It was a beautiful day yesterday, and it was perfect for the hike. We made it up to the top in about an hour, and the view was incredible. What does all of this have to do with following the rules? I'm getting there.
When we got to the actual wind cave, there is a sign with a few simple rules to follow. The first: pick up your trash (easy - we had water bottles). The second: clean up your animal waste (easier - no animals in tow). The last: do not feed the chipmunks. People food is not chipmunk food (seriously. the sign spelled it out this way).
As Steven and I made out way to a spot to sit where we could rest before going back down the mountain, there was another group at the top sitting and eating snacks. The first thing they do? Throw saltine cracker bits toward the chipmunks. My reaction? Heart palpitations and trying like crazy not to tell them they were breaking the rules.
I don't know where this overwhelming urge to make sure the rules are followed has its roots. I've just always been that way. Perhaps this tendency also complements the type A in me. There is a certain way things need to be done, ergo I will do them in that manner and do them well. I will make sure the rules are followed so the powers that be are pleased with my work (as long as the rules are reasonable and do not ask me to do anything illegal).
What do you think about rules?
Yesterday the hubs and I took a hike out at the Wind Cave Trail in Usery Pass. It was a beautiful day yesterday, and it was perfect for the hike. We made it up to the top in about an hour, and the view was incredible. What does all of this have to do with following the rules? I'm getting there.
When we got to the actual wind cave, there is a sign with a few simple rules to follow. The first: pick up your trash (easy - we had water bottles). The second: clean up your animal waste (easier - no animals in tow). The last: do not feed the chipmunks. People food is not chipmunk food (seriously. the sign spelled it out this way).
As Steven and I made out way to a spot to sit where we could rest before going back down the mountain, there was another group at the top sitting and eating snacks. The first thing they do? Throw saltine cracker bits toward the chipmunks. My reaction? Heart palpitations and trying like crazy not to tell them they were breaking the rules.
I don't know where this overwhelming urge to make sure the rules are followed has its roots. I've just always been that way. Perhaps this tendency also complements the type A in me. There is a certain way things need to be done, ergo I will do them in that manner and do them well. I will make sure the rules are followed so the powers that be are pleased with my work (as long as the rules are reasonable and do not ask me to do anything illegal).
What do you think about rules?
Friday, November 12, 2010
working for a charity has its perks...
From time to time there are some nice fringe benefits associated with being employed by a charity. Sometimes.
My more than full-time employment with the Boys & Girls Clubs is probably reasons 1 through 5 why I am so busy all the time. Ok, forget probably. It is reasons 1 through 5. But every once in a while we get little perks. Like free tickets to sporting events. Or I get to have a day like today.
Today I spent the day at the Phoenix Country Club. They are hosting the Goldwater Tennis Classic this week, and the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley is the beneficiary charity (thank you, Grant Woods!). Earlier this week I had been there a couple of times for part of the day, but today was a full day there. From 9 am till the fat lady sang and the tennis tournament ended around 6 pm.
It was a nice, laid back day that was a complete change of pace from the usual chaos I get to endure at the Club (did you see what I did there? I said "get to" not "have to." perspective is a beautiful thing...). I seriously needed a break from the Club melee. The first two days this week this week nearly took everything out of me. So today I enjoyed a day at the country club (sounds kinda pretentious, yes?).
The day included, in no particular order:
My more than full-time employment with the Boys & Girls Clubs is probably reasons 1 through 5 why I am so busy all the time. Ok, forget probably. It is reasons 1 through 5. But every once in a while we get little perks. Like free tickets to sporting events. Or I get to have a day like today.
Today I spent the day at the Phoenix Country Club. They are hosting the Goldwater Tennis Classic this week, and the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley is the beneficiary charity (thank you, Grant Woods!). Earlier this week I had been there a couple of times for part of the day, but today was a full day there. From 9 am till the fat lady sang and the tennis tournament ended around 6 pm.
It was a nice, laid back day that was a complete change of pace from the usual chaos I get to endure at the Club (did you see what I did there? I said "get to" not "have to." perspective is a beautiful thing...). I seriously needed a break from the Club melee. The first two days this week this week nearly took everything out of me. So today I enjoyed a day at the country club (sounds kinda pretentious, yes?).
The day included, in no particular order:
- eating a ridiculous amount of Dunkin Donuts munchkins. seriously. i think i ate the equivalent of a dozen donuts. ok, i overspoke. half a dozen.
- watching one set of a singles match that was seriously one-sided and chuckling at the grunting. did i mention the grunting was in a foreign language? it was. i wish i could make this stuff up.
- scoring a DELISH wildberry margarita from the Cruz Tequila reps while selling raffle tickets at a ladies' luncheon.
- eating an equally delish lunch prepared by the PCC at an outdoor table at the edge of the golf course. amazing.
- preparing my variance report while watching a doubles match and soaking in some rays. did i mention the spot where they had us posted was freezing? i found many an excuse to sit and watch matches where the sunlight was ample.
And now I sit in my very warm and comfy yoga pants and long-sleeved gym shirt with slippers warming my now defrosted tootsies looking forward to an equally slow-paced and fun weekend.
It's the little things that make life beautiful, don't you think?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
and now for a word from our sponsors...
It's time for a commercial break. Or at least a plain old break.
It seems like the past week was especially hectic, but I blame the lack of a weekend. There were times when I could swear I saw my precious and fleeting free time being sucked into a maelstrom. Hasta la vista.
An observation I made this past week is just how quickly time seems to slip away when you're inside the four walls of a hospital. My sister was in the hospital Saturday night and stayed through Monday morning. She was experiencing numbness down her right side and excruciating pain in her abdomen. After a late night and full morning of test after test, turns out she had gotten a bad kidney infection. She also had a migraine, and the migraine was so bad she wound up numb down her right side. There was a collective sigh of relief when the neurologist confirmed that she hadn't had a stroke and told us all her CT's and the MRI were normal and clear. Despite the fear and the desperation of waiting for test results and consults, it seemed like the time slipped away incredibly quickly. Every time I looked at the clock, it seemed like at least an hour had passed, sometimes more. Before I knew it, I had been there for twelve hours and was on my way home again.
There was some comic relief that came out of the 12 plus hours I spent hanging with Jess and the family on Sunday. Watching the Vikings/Cards game, we saw a sideline analyst wearing what looked like a football fanny pack. If you want to know the new name I gave the fanny pack, ask me off the record. Trust me, it will be worth it. And now anytime anyone in the family does anything, the challenge posed is "now do it with your right hand." There were plenty of "that's what she said" moments, but the best was when the phlebotomist was drawing Jess's blood and told her "I'm glad you weren't too hard" (that's what she said).
The excitement of the weekend was compounded by a very eventful first few days this week. When I got home tonight, I gave Steven a HUGE hug and sighed into his ear "I am soooooo glad we have NOTHING to do tonight." Finally rest. And five minutes to update the blog.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
It seems like the past week was especially hectic, but I blame the lack of a weekend. There were times when I could swear I saw my precious and fleeting free time being sucked into a maelstrom. Hasta la vista.
An observation I made this past week is just how quickly time seems to slip away when you're inside the four walls of a hospital. My sister was in the hospital Saturday night and stayed through Monday morning. She was experiencing numbness down her right side and excruciating pain in her abdomen. After a late night and full morning of test after test, turns out she had gotten a bad kidney infection. She also had a migraine, and the migraine was so bad she wound up numb down her right side. There was a collective sigh of relief when the neurologist confirmed that she hadn't had a stroke and told us all her CT's and the MRI were normal and clear. Despite the fear and the desperation of waiting for test results and consults, it seemed like the time slipped away incredibly quickly. Every time I looked at the clock, it seemed like at least an hour had passed, sometimes more. Before I knew it, I had been there for twelve hours and was on my way home again.
There was some comic relief that came out of the 12 plus hours I spent hanging with Jess and the family on Sunday. Watching the Vikings/Cards game, we saw a sideline analyst wearing what looked like a football fanny pack. If you want to know the new name I gave the fanny pack, ask me off the record. Trust me, it will be worth it. And now anytime anyone in the family does anything, the challenge posed is "now do it with your right hand." There were plenty of "that's what she said" moments, but the best was when the phlebotomist was drawing Jess's blood and told her "I'm glad you weren't too hard" (that's what she said).
The excitement of the weekend was compounded by a very eventful first few days this week. When I got home tonight, I gave Steven a HUGE hug and sighed into his ear "I am soooooo glad we have NOTHING to do tonight." Finally rest. And five minutes to update the blog.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
ch-ch-ch-changes
Things are always changing at the speed of life.
It seems like every time I turn around, something is different. No two days of my life are exactly the same. I like it that way.
"You're one of the busiest people I know."
J. Davis, close friend of many years, reminds me regularly of this fact. And I have realized recently just how true that is. I am busy. All the time.
Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to brag about being busy or fishing for people to feel sorry for me. I don't want a gold star for being a go-getter, nor am I looking for accolades. I realized that being a type-A personality and the melee in my schedule that results is who I am. It's simply me.
So here I sit. Blogging. Watch out, world. When I get a spare minute (or five), this blog is gonna hear about how things are changing. Let the type-A melee commence.
It seems like every time I turn around, something is different. No two days of my life are exactly the same. I like it that way.
"You're one of the busiest people I know."
J. Davis, close friend of many years, reminds me regularly of this fact. And I have realized recently just how true that is. I am busy. All the time.
Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to brag about being busy or fishing for people to feel sorry for me. I don't want a gold star for being a go-getter, nor am I looking for accolades. I realized that being a type-A personality and the melee in my schedule that results is who I am. It's simply me.
So here I sit. Blogging. Watch out, world. When I get a spare minute (or five), this blog is gonna hear about how things are changing. Let the type-A melee commence.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
independence day(s)
Independence is liberating, and while I realize saying that is more than a bit redundant, it is so very true. You hear parents say all the time how nice it is to get a night off or a weekend away from their children, whom they love dearly but just need a break from once in a while. I don't have children (except for the kiddos I take care of at the Club), so the closest thing I have was getting the weekend off from being a wife. How, you ask? Steven spent the weekend up in Williams with the church on the Men's Challenge weekend, which left me home alone.
Just like the liberated parents I know who love their children dearly, I dearly love my husband. Any of you who have read my blog for any period of time know that to be true. At the same time, I have to say that getting a weekend to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without needing to worry about how it would affect another person was a nice change of pace.
What did I do with my weekend of independence? I spent Friday with my mom and Aunt Kathy who is in town visiting. We just took our time walking around the mall, going to lunch, hitting the gym, and then relaxing at mama bear's house drinking cocktails and laughing late into the night. Saturday I took my time waking up, picked up some things for Trunk or Treat and got all the carnival game supplies ready to go, watched the ASU Homecoming game (ugh...losing in the last 30 seconds of a game is always hard to watch), worked Trunk or Treat, and then spent the rest of the evening and the wee sma's of the morning today at a Halloween party. Today I taught at the gym, took a really long bubble bath, and then slept all afternoon. Nothing terribly exciting, but it was nice to come and go as I pleased all weekend.
Steven should be arriving home shortly. This next week is independence from work - we both picked a week to take off and just spend at home together. We're hoping to get some painting done around the house, maybe take some day trips, and otherwise relax and enjoy a week with no work.
I guess all of this got me wondering what everyone else thinks about independence in general. What are some things that it's nice to get a break from once in a while?
Just like the liberated parents I know who love their children dearly, I dearly love my husband. Any of you who have read my blog for any period of time know that to be true. At the same time, I have to say that getting a weekend to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without needing to worry about how it would affect another person was a nice change of pace.
What did I do with my weekend of independence? I spent Friday with my mom and Aunt Kathy who is in town visiting. We just took our time walking around the mall, going to lunch, hitting the gym, and then relaxing at mama bear's house drinking cocktails and laughing late into the night. Saturday I took my time waking up, picked up some things for Trunk or Treat and got all the carnival game supplies ready to go, watched the ASU Homecoming game (ugh...losing in the last 30 seconds of a game is always hard to watch), worked Trunk or Treat, and then spent the rest of the evening and the wee sma's of the morning today at a Halloween party. Today I taught at the gym, took a really long bubble bath, and then slept all afternoon. Nothing terribly exciting, but it was nice to come and go as I pleased all weekend.
Steven should be arriving home shortly. This next week is independence from work - we both picked a week to take off and just spend at home together. We're hoping to get some painting done around the house, maybe take some day trips, and otherwise relax and enjoy a week with no work.
I guess all of this got me wondering what everyone else thinks about independence in general. What are some things that it's nice to get a break from once in a while?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
oh the buseyness of it all
Lately I have begun to wonder what it is that possesses me to stay so busy all the time. There is this crazy bone in my body that gets really bored if I don't have something to do all the time. Do I ever have a day off? Not really. I guess that's part of being a grown-up. There literally is always something I could be doing...whether I want to is another story altogehter. But it's not the typical grown-up kind of busy I'm talking about. I love to be involved in a lot of different things. I decided not to continue in graduate school because it was taking up too much of my time, and I didn't believe that I had an adequate work/life balance. What did I end up doing instead? I joined a gym (we all know how that story turned out - now I live there) and I began coaching junior high small groups at the church. I coached for two years, but this year I gave up being a junior high small group coach at church because it was taking up too much time. Somehow I miraculously (pun intended) found other things to fill Wednesday nights. Town council meetings, Keystone Club advising, etc. Beyond that, though, I worked my butt off to get promoted at work. Now that I am the Branch Executive at my Club, I have a lot of community events and (late) meetings that I have to be a part of, but I prefer to see it as I get to be a part of them. I love connecting with other people, even if in some settings I tend to feel a little fish-out-of-watery. I've become active in the Queen Creek Chamber of Commerce, I've volunteered to be involved with the Holiday Festival and Parade. Yes, the Club benefits from it financially, and it is expected that I will be a part of it, but even if I weren't I still love planning events and being a part of something bigger than myself. I'd probably still be a part of the committee if I weren't in my current job - it's a really great event! God Bless my husband, Steven, for being so patient with me. I THRIVE off of social outings where I get to interact with other professionals and people in the community, and because of that I am often out of the house and away from my dear husband more nights than not. Anyway, I guess I'm just a highly-motivated person who needs a lot of stimulation to keep myself moving forward. I really do get bored if I end up sitting around the house without much to do.
What makes you tick?
What makes you tick?
Friday, April 10, 2009
mercy mergatroy, where have I been?
For the love of all that is good and right, I am appalled that I haven't posted anything new in over a month! A whole month! Every time I went to post something new, I didn't really think I had anything to say. Well....there hasn't been too much new that has happened in the past month, but I'll try to recap.
I went to my very first RPM class (or spin class, either label works), and I really liked it! I wasn't expecting to, since I think bike riding should be for leisure (esp. atop a sweet beach cruiser). It's a fantastic cardio workout, and the best part is it's no impact! My poor, sensitive shins were grateful for that. Aside from a sore bottom, it's totally worth it. And your butt gets used to it after a couple classes.
I got to see my best childhood friend halfway through March as we watched her dad get remarried to a really nice woman. It was fun to dance and laugh with an old friend, and it was even better to see how ecstatically happy her dad was on his wedding day. Here's hoping for the best his second time around!
I experienced my first Autoship through Les Mills. Every quarter instructors get new music and choreography in the mail about a month or two before the newest release is launched in our gym. I stalked my mailbox for 2 weeks and called and emailed Les Mills to make sure I really, truly was set to get BC39. When it finally came, I tore it open and practiced it a couple of times. All the BC instructors are getting together for the next 3 Saturdays to practice and get ready for launch. Launch is in only 18 more days people!
I turned 25 with a lot less fanfare and pomp than I was expecting. But all things considered, birthday parties are expensive, and I don't feel right asking people to buy gifts for me when I know I can't return the favor. Darn budgets! I had a great day with my husband, and he surprised me with a birthday balloon and the sweetest stuffed monkey that we have decided to call Mr. Monkman. He's pretty fantastic (my husband, not Mr. Monkman).
Steven celebrated his 26th birthday 5 days later, and though I did not purchase him a Mrs. Monkman to complete our collection, I did find a really nice bday card. I couldn't find anything to buy him, so I'm going to take him out shopping soon.
I taped myself teaching an entire BC class from start to finish toward the end of the month and did an all right job. I cringed a lot when I went back and watched the video, but I was cleared by the GFM to teach solo or sub for current instructors. This means that I can FINALLY get paid to teach! Crazy long process, but totally worth it.
The Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley held its annual Bon Vivant, a really big, fun wine and food tasting event at Rawhide. Over 3,000 people attend, and there is so much alcohol there it's almost ridiculous. My family was fantastic and volunteered to help make the event a success. Let's just say that a few of them had a little bit too much fun enjoying all that Bon Vivant had to offer and wound up sick and hung over the next day. But we all had a great time. I really like this event and have a lot of fun working at it.
Last Friday night I tried BODYJAM for the first time. It's a dance-inspired cardio workout that is SO MUCH FUN! I'm planning to go back to it again tonight. Now I've tried every Les Mills program except for BODYSTEP. Have I mentioned how much I love exercise? I'm pretty sure I've blogged about it, say, a thousand and a half times. :)
I had today off of work in observance of Good Friday. It was a much needed and appreciated day off. I had a really busy day, but got a lot of fun things done. I got a haircut, and it's a lot shorter than I have ever cut it but it looks cute curly! I wasn't expecting that. Went to the doc (boo), and as I was leaving I witnessed a car accident. I had a fantastic lunch date with Steven where we got to spend an hour just the two of us (so nice!). Then I went shopping for 3 hours, which is something I almost never do, and purchased a couple pairs of shorts, two shirts, headbands, and white boxing wraps. While I was out, I spoke on the phone to one of my good friends, Candice, about our small group last night and other random fun things.
This weekend looks like it's going to be a good time. Tomorrow I'm practically going to live at the gym (2 classes for fun in the AM, then BC39 practice in the afternoon). Sunday is Easter (Happy Resurrection Day!), and Steven and I are planning to attend church with the fam, go to BC, then attend a Dbacks game. Phew. So much good stuff, not enough time. I hope to take some pics this weekend and post. Cindy, Sarah, and I are going to dress Easter-ish for BC on Sunday...should be fun.
Anyway...I guess that's where I've been. But mercy me it took a long time to get all this posted.
I went to my very first RPM class (or spin class, either label works), and I really liked it! I wasn't expecting to, since I think bike riding should be for leisure (esp. atop a sweet beach cruiser). It's a fantastic cardio workout, and the best part is it's no impact! My poor, sensitive shins were grateful for that. Aside from a sore bottom, it's totally worth it. And your butt gets used to it after a couple classes.
I got to see my best childhood friend halfway through March as we watched her dad get remarried to a really nice woman. It was fun to dance and laugh with an old friend, and it was even better to see how ecstatically happy her dad was on his wedding day. Here's hoping for the best his second time around!
I experienced my first Autoship through Les Mills. Every quarter instructors get new music and choreography in the mail about a month or two before the newest release is launched in our gym. I stalked my mailbox for 2 weeks and called and emailed Les Mills to make sure I really, truly was set to get BC39. When it finally came, I tore it open and practiced it a couple of times. All the BC instructors are getting together for the next 3 Saturdays to practice and get ready for launch. Launch is in only 18 more days people!
I turned 25 with a lot less fanfare and pomp than I was expecting. But all things considered, birthday parties are expensive, and I don't feel right asking people to buy gifts for me when I know I can't return the favor. Darn budgets! I had a great day with my husband, and he surprised me with a birthday balloon and the sweetest stuffed monkey that we have decided to call Mr. Monkman. He's pretty fantastic (my husband, not Mr. Monkman).
Steven celebrated his 26th birthday 5 days later, and though I did not purchase him a Mrs. Monkman to complete our collection, I did find a really nice bday card. I couldn't find anything to buy him, so I'm going to take him out shopping soon.
I taped myself teaching an entire BC class from start to finish toward the end of the month and did an all right job. I cringed a lot when I went back and watched the video, but I was cleared by the GFM to teach solo or sub for current instructors. This means that I can FINALLY get paid to teach! Crazy long process, but totally worth it.
The Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley held its annual Bon Vivant, a really big, fun wine and food tasting event at Rawhide. Over 3,000 people attend, and there is so much alcohol there it's almost ridiculous. My family was fantastic and volunteered to help make the event a success. Let's just say that a few of them had a little bit too much fun enjoying all that Bon Vivant had to offer and wound up sick and hung over the next day. But we all had a great time. I really like this event and have a lot of fun working at it.
Last Friday night I tried BODYJAM for the first time. It's a dance-inspired cardio workout that is SO MUCH FUN! I'm planning to go back to it again tonight. Now I've tried every Les Mills program except for BODYSTEP. Have I mentioned how much I love exercise? I'm pretty sure I've blogged about it, say, a thousand and a half times. :)
I had today off of work in observance of Good Friday. It was a much needed and appreciated day off. I had a really busy day, but got a lot of fun things done. I got a haircut, and it's a lot shorter than I have ever cut it but it looks cute curly! I wasn't expecting that. Went to the doc (boo), and as I was leaving I witnessed a car accident. I had a fantastic lunch date with Steven where we got to spend an hour just the two of us (so nice!). Then I went shopping for 3 hours, which is something I almost never do, and purchased a couple pairs of shorts, two shirts, headbands, and white boxing wraps. While I was out, I spoke on the phone to one of my good friends, Candice, about our small group last night and other random fun things.
This weekend looks like it's going to be a good time. Tomorrow I'm practically going to live at the gym (2 classes for fun in the AM, then BC39 practice in the afternoon). Sunday is Easter (Happy Resurrection Day!), and Steven and I are planning to attend church with the fam, go to BC, then attend a Dbacks game. Phew. So much good stuff, not enough time. I hope to take some pics this weekend and post. Cindy, Sarah, and I are going to dress Easter-ish for BC on Sunday...should be fun.
Anyway...I guess that's where I've been. But mercy me it took a long time to get all this posted.
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