...yeah, kind of like the Jeopardy category. What's been on Sandi's mind lately for $500, Alex?
In short, mostly the impending birth of my daughter. But there have been a lot of other things going through my mind, too. A sampling of my mental potpurri can be found below.
Apologies. It's interesting. There was a day when I was in an argument with the hubs about apologizing. I know, strange what one argues with her significant other about when under the influence of fetus. He had done something that hurt my feelings, and I thought he should apologize. He didn't want to apologize because he thought he hadn't done anything wrong and didn't want it to be an empty apology. I wish I could say this ended happily (it didn't...well not until much later). But it got me thinking about how if it were a work situation where a customer/parent/whoever was complaining to either one of us about something that had offended them, we would apologize for the issue and set about correcting it for that person (even if we didn't think they were right about it). I don't understand why sometimes it is so much easier for us to treat strangers better than those we claim we care the most about. Side note: While this argument wasn't necessarily a "win" for me, at the end of the day I still very much adore and respect my husband for being willing to stick to his guns. I wouldn't want him to lie to me and say he's sorry when he isn't either.
Weight. I had hoped to resolve my hate/loathe relationship with the bathroom scale by the time my pregnancy came to an end, but alas the scale has won this battle. Sandi - 0. Scale -1. The strange thing in all of this is that gaining so much weight helped me to gain a little perspective too (pun intended). As the weight packed on, my workouts at the gym became markedly more difficult. I felt more pain in my joints and less and less able to keep up with what I had been able to do fifty pounds lighter (no, that's not a typo). I think in the long run this is going to help me to be a more effective coach in my group fitness classes. It is going to help me empathize with my larger participants and help me to offer them options that will prevent injury and/or excessive soreness post-workout.
Childbirth. I guess I never realized how granola and earthy I really am until I started to really think about childbirth. Here's the deal. I always assumed I'd be the "induce my labor and get me an epidural so I can be a mommy" mom. The more I learned about both, the less and less I want either. No woman has been pregnant forever, even if it feels like I have been at times. My baby and my body know what to do. Labor will start when my baby is good and ready to make her appearance in this world. I was built to deliver this baby without medication, even though they don't call it labor for nothing. So after a lot of reading and exploring, I've decided that I want to have as natural of a childbirth as I can assuming there is no medical reason that comes up to prevent it. My biggest concern is and continues to be that I will need a C-section. Why, you ask? At 29 weeks we found out our baby was in a breech presentation, but as of last week's appointment she had turned head down. While I'm hopeful/confident she'll stay this way, I can help but feel a nagging fear that I'm going to have to be cut open. No. thank. you. I'd rather sacrifice my lady bits to the birthing process than have a 4-6 inch scar and major abdominal surgery to deliver my baby.
Parenthood. I'll be moving to a new 'hood in about a month from now. The parenthood. The daunting task of actually raising and being responsible for a human life is a little overwhelming to me. I know I'll figure it out and that there are plenty of people who have survived it before me (and continue to survive it). I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time. I still can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.
Leadership. There have been a few opportunities lately for me to learn more about the abstract concept of leadership. What it is. What it isn't. What it looks like when it's effective. How to deal with difficult personalities. How to develop superior work teams. And you know what I've discovered? What I don't know and can't do far outweighs what I do know and can do. I heard that at the Global Leadership Summit in early August, and it really impacted me. I also discovered that I'm kind of a huge fan of learning, especially about leadership.
Anyway, there's the fragrant mental potpurri that's been brewing for the past 10 weeks. I will do my best to keep posting as the pregnancy draws closer to its end and the day I will offically be someone's mother gets here.
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