in my rearview...

...I watched the lights of Queen Creek fade into the distance. And then my eyes started to water.

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I posted about the day of days? At the end of it, I talked about how beauty came from the pain and not in the way I expected. I had a good day that day in the face of the sadness I had in my soul, but I couldn't divulge the details about why or how it was a good day.

I guess now I should share. Sit back for show and tell, blog friends.

Back in October, when I was still off the blogging radar, an incredible opportunity to advance my career with the Boys & Girls Club presented itself. The person in my position at a large club had been promoted, so his position opened up. I had a feeling this person (hi Mark!) was going to get the promotion. I knew that would mean his job would open up. And then I paused. Thought about the implications for me. For my current club. For the community I serve. All that to say that well before the opportunity presented itself, I had time to consider the what ifs. What if it did?

When the position posted, I sent in my resume and letter of interest the same day. It was too good to pass up.

Two months and two interviews later, on the day of days, I heard the magic words.

"We would like to offer you the position."

I said yes 2.5 miliseconds later. Lots of happy celebrating followed, but all on the inside. I had to keep my mouth shut about the big move until the official announcement went out five very long days later.

Fast forward to yesterday.

Yesterday was my last full day as the Branch Executive in Queen Creek. It was a good day, and it was raining all afternoon. I found myself with watery eyes when I didn't expect them. The strange thing is that the kids didn't seem all that broken up about me leaving. I guess it won't really sink in for them until next week when I'm really not there. Either that or they really won't miss me. I think it's the former based on the art the kids made for me to take to my new office.

After Club hours, I went back to my office and started to pack up my things. And then I sat there and stared at the walls for close to an hour to make sure I got everything. Plus I couldn't bring myself to get up and leave. Then it would be real. I took care of random things to postpone my leaving, like changing my email signature and organizing drawers and cabinets. I found a lot of random things I had forgotten about, too. Two boxes of stuff and two hours later, I finally hoofed it out of the office and started to drive home.

It wasn't until I was on my way out of Queen Creek watching it from my rearview mirror that I started to cry. Nothing dramatic or over the top. Just a little wetness in my eyes as I was mourning the end of a really great chapter in my life. I have a lot of memories in Queen Creek, and I look forward to making more in Gilbert.

New year, new job, new opportunities. I guess I should stop looking back and face forward.

we wish you a merry christmas...

...and a happy new year!


I L.O.V.E. Christmas time. I know some of my friends out there aren't huge fans of the yuletide season (hi Mike!), but I am a huge sucker for this time of year. And birthdays. Why? One reason: gift giving. I love to give gifts. Some would say it's a love language near the top of my list, second only to acts of service. But I am getting off track.


One of the downsides to being an uber-efficient, type-A machine is that I get my shopping done. Early. Not day-after-Christmas-for-the-next-year early, but still with plenty of time to spare. The nieces and nephews have been done since Black Friday. Babies and toddlers are easy. I could get the two little dudes a cardboard box and they'd be entertained for hours. The other babies are too little (or still in utero like baby Abby), so they wouldn't know the difference. But I still do more than a empty box with a little wrapping paper and a bow. What can I say? Being an aunt is pretty rad, and I love spoiling the little peanuts.


In my opinion, the best part of the holiday melee is the shopping. Making the lists. Checking them twice. Buying a gift for you whether you're naughty or nice. Let's be honest - that's Santa's M.O. too. Not to mention the life-risking activity of finding parking at the mall. It's crazy out there.


Because the 6 kids in my family decided we'd rather adopt a family than exchange DVD's and gift cards to the movies with each other for the 8th or 9th year in a row, I didn't have a lot of people left to shop for. As of today, the rest of my list consisted of my dad, the in-laws, the newest foster nephew I have dubbed "the little man," a gag gift for the white elephant exchange, and me (yes, you read that correctly. "me" is the last person on my list).


My younger sister, Jessi (read her fantastic blog here), and I went out this morning and knocked out dad's gift in 5.7 seconds flat. I think. I can't confirm because I left my stopwatch at the...um...ok I don't have a stopwatch. You caught me. We also got the little man some gift action and took care of one part of the in-laws. After that, I went out for lunch with my best friend, Kelsey.


And now for a word from the pages of history...


Kelsey and I have been friends since we were 11. We're talking 15 years and counting now. We've been through a lot together, and we've tried our hands at being architects, dancers, trampoline gymnasts, radio DJs, detectives, and the next great-American writers. All before the age of 15. You can see how well all of that panned out for us. Anyway, when we graduated from high school, she moved to San Jose, CA to go to college. And then she graduated and stayed put. She's been up there for 8 years now, and we always reconnect when she comes home. Usually it consisted of sitting in Starbucks until the baristas (sort of) politely asked us to leave so they could close, which meant that we left smelling of coffee beans and conversation with great friends. Since we've gotten "real" jobs, now we usually meet over a meal and then go out to do other things afterward. Below is a picture of the two of us sitting in the rain at the Ironman Triathlon last month while we waited for her dad to make his second loop through the marathon.




Back to our regularly scheduled bloggy programming...


Kelsey and I took out the rest of the list with relative ease. In-laws? Done. Gag gift for the white elephant exchange? Done and uh-mazing. I think it will be the stuff of legends. I'll post pics later. Kelsey's shopping? Sort of done. Me? Done.


Ok, I suppose I should explain me shopping for myself. All I wanted for Christmas was a plane ticket to go visit Kelsey. Steven granted my holiday wish! So today while we were together, I sat down with Kelsey and showed her when I want to come visit, and then I booked the ticket. Signed. Sealed. Confirmation delivered to my e-mail inbox. Life is good.


Now I sit at home with my yet-to-be-wrapped treasures waiting in the living room. Steven should be home soon, and it feels so good to be done shopping and ready for Christmas. The next couple of days will be filled with family, festivities, and most of all fun. I can't wait!


Merry Christmas to you and yours!

day of days

The past couple of weeks I have spent dreading December 15. It may seem like any other day to you, or it could be your birthday as it is for four of my friends today (thank you, Facebook). Today was the day I was supposed to become a mom. Well, until I wasn't.

I fell off of blogging earlier this year about a month before I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Steven and I were over the moon. We'd been trying/not trying and seeing what happens/maybe we'll never have kids but let's just have sex anyway/whatever for 2 years, finally gave up, and then the stick turned blue (yes, yes. I can hear you loud and clear, mom. You told me so). I took the test expecting the same old rigmarole (NEGATIVE), so when it didn't turn out that way I was shocked. When I let Steven know (3.5 miliseconds after reading the pee stick result), it sounded more like a question. "I'm pregnant?"

Four weeks after the stick turned blue, after 4 doctors appointments, 3 ultrasounds, and a couple of blood tests, our obstetrician confirmed that we had lost the baby.

Just like that, the pregnancy and child that my husband and I had hoped for was gone.

Miscarriage is a crazy thing. I didn't realize that there were different types of miscarriage. I kind of assumed all along that they were all the same. Developing fetus one minute, not the next. I guess it all boils down to that eventually, but it's so much more complicated at the same time. The miscarriage I had is called a blighted ovum or early pregnancy failure. Essentially, there was something funky afoot chromosomally speaking that resulted in a baby never developing. All I had was a fertilized egg that became a gestational sac that implanted in my uterus, got my hormone factory all hot and frenzied, and then stopped developing. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this from happening. Let me tell you, lack of control over things is not my cup of tea. Knowing that I couldn't have done ANYTHING to prevent the pregnancy loss was devastating.

The other crazy thing about it is that it is a loss, there is grief/grieving involved, but there's no physical object to grieve. The expelled tissue was flushed like a deceased goldfish. I still feel a little guilty about it seven months later.

Why was there flushing of tissue involved? I'm getting to that.

I didn't have a D & C - dilation and curretage for those of you not in the know on the acronym...essentially the same surgical procedure as an abortion (lovely thought, right?) - although it was presented as one of my 3 choices for course of action after the miscarriage was confirmed. One of my other two choices was to wait it out. I considered it, but I felt increasingly more frustrated experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy knowing that nothing was going to come of it. I wasn't morning sick or anything, but I felt differently enough from normal to know the difference. The option I picked was a BRAND. NEW. CAR. Actually, it was medication that induced contractions and forced all the tissue out of my bun-baking oven. Lovely thought, right? It was equally lovely to experience the crippling cramping of uterine contractions and bleeding like crazy. I'll leave it at that.

I blame hormones, but I got all dark and twisty (thank you, Grey's Anatomy) after that. I was really depressed. And furiously angry. I even yelled at pregnant people for being pregnant. Way to stay classy. It was a chapter of my history where I believe I experienced the greatest growth of character I had to this point, but not without hitting some ugly lows and threatening some very dear relationships in the process. Thankfully, I have incredibly gracious friends who chose to love me through the ugly.

Early this fall, there was a day where I realized I hadn't thought about the fact that I wasn't pregnant for a few days. And I couldn't tell you how pregnant I would have been, which was something I had tracked (my brain wouldn't allow me to NOT think about it). Humpty dumpty had started to put the pieces together again. Yeah, there were times when a baby announcement or a person complaining about how miserable they were feeling at X stage in their pregnancy would touch the soft spots of my soul where I hadn't quite found ALL the pieces. I guess that's what happens when you break till you shatter.

All that feeling whole and (mostly) healed changed about 2 weeks ago when I realized December 15 was coming. The baby's due date. The day of days.

The Lord does not bring us to something if He is not willing to also bring us through said thing. "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23. I woke up this morning and told myself (and my Facebook status) that today was going to be a good day. While I can't divulge the details now, let's just say that today completely exceeded my expectations. Somehow there was beauty from my pain, but as always not in the way I expected.

my eyes are crossed and i think i feel brain matter oozing out of my ears...

Why is it that reading the same things over and over (online, no less) makes one feel cross-eyed?

I find that when I spend my work days in front of a computer screen, especially around budget drafting time when I have to stare at all those tiny, tiny numbers for hours on end, my eyes get tired. They may actually, really cross (I never check). Tonight was a foray into endless online psychology course grading. Of the same 3 assignments written by various students. 15 of them to be exact. I got through 10 before my brain felt like it was oozing out of my ears.

It's been quite the ride as Adjunct Faculty for Rio Salado so far. Just the fact that the title "Adjunct Faculty" is attached to my name is a bit strange. And having conversations with people where I reference "my students." It all seems horribly grown-upish. When did that happen?

Not that I'm complaining. This is a huge step in the "I think this is where I want my life to go" direction, that being a residential (full time) faculty member at a local community college. While it has managed to suck away what little, precious free time I may have thought I had, I know it will be worth it in the long run. For now it means grading stuff and managing my roster whenever I have a spare moment or five. For later it could mean a sweet gig working less than 9 months of the year and only 30 hours a week at that.

Although you all know me. I'd find ways to fill the rest of those hours.

town council via FB status updates...

One of the less glamorous aspects of my job is that I am asked to attend Town Council meetings in Queen Creek to make sure I am on top of what's happening in my Club's community. It has benefited the Club in good ways, but it's not exactly what you might call exciting. In an effort to keep myself engaged in what's happening, I post Facebook status updates as the "action," as it were, unfolds. Here's the last meeting via status updates:

time to change into big girl clothes for Town Council. yep, that's right. It's council night, people! final action for rio communiversity. love it! got so excited about communiversity I didn't realize consent is done well before 7:30. wow. "out of plane" could make a good song title along the lines of "i'm on a boat."thanks for the idea, councilmember benning. hello, wayne balmer. it's been a while. communiversity land lease passed unanimously. time for the general plan amendments for town center. hang on to your hats. general plan amendments continued. now we're talking fireworks. boom. sizzle. i think phantom fireworks guy @ the podium called me at the club about selling fireworks as a fundraiser. hmmm.... oh man. wayne balmer just talked about medicinal marijuana infused in "the classic brownies." text amendment for medicinal marijuana dispensaries passed 5-2. on to special events sign ordinance. meeting adjourned. and that's all she wrote.

Kinda juicy, huh? Dont' hate me cause you ain't me.

gee thanks...

Oh, mylanta. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The best part about that?

Three words.

Four. Day. Weekend.

I get a breather from my usual daily grind to catch up on life in general. And my other jobs.

I am thankful for the many sources of income for my family. Really. I am. I promise I'm not trying to convince myself. There's just a lot I have to do to keep up with the part-time jobs I have.

On tap for this weekend:

• family time all day tomorrow followed by a tryptophan coma
• decorating the homestead for Christmas
• going to the gym to run through the new BODYCOMBAT and BODYATTACK releases I received in the mail last week (Les Mills Christmas 4 times a year! squee!)
• catching up on Bible reading for the 6 weeks I slacked off
• grading student pre-tests for PSY 101
• teaching at the gym
• Christmas shopping!
• plenty of naps (it is a four-day weekend after all)

But through it all, I give thanks. Thanks for the wonderful people I have in my life. Thanks for the amazing opportunities I have to grow personally and professionally. Thanks for shelter, freedom, love, and the ability to be a crazy, type-A person who has a bit of a scheduling handicap. I wouldn't have it any other way.

my brain is ready to tap out...

Ever have one (or three) of those days where all the work you have to do involves a helluva lot of thinking and at the end of it your brain is just tired? Yeah...it's been like that for a few days.

While I admit that my job keeps me (mostly) busy and (mostly) out of trouble, the work that I have to do on a daily basis doesn't tend to be all that mentally taxing. Seriously. I love what I do because of this. I got my fix of brainy work during my 4 years of college and 2 years of grad school. It's nice to get a brain-cation now. Not that I can work on autopilot, but I think you catch the drift. It's not like I'm the leader of the free world or anything...

This week, the story has changed a little bit. I have had to do some serious cranial calisthenics. If I haven't been in a meeting where I needed to be mentally alert, I've been trapped in front of my computer analyzing different finance things going on at the Club. Too many numbers, too many meetings, feeling mentally drained, ready for a nap.

Or maybe just dessert.

so i'm kind of a rule follower...

My entire life I have been a bit of a rule follower. Understatement. I am a nervous nelly who strongly believes that rules are handed down for a reason. The reason? To be followed.

Yesterday the hubs and I took a hike out at the Wind Cave Trail in Usery Pass. It was a beautiful day yesterday, and it was perfect for the hike. We made it up to the top in about an hour, and the view was incredible. What does all of this have to do with following the rules? I'm getting there.

When we got to the actual wind cave, there is a sign with a few simple rules to follow. The first: pick up your trash (easy - we had water bottles). The second: clean up your animal waste (easier - no animals in tow). The last: do not feed the chipmunks. People food is not chipmunk food (seriously. the sign spelled it out this way).

As Steven and I made out way to a spot to sit where we could rest before going back down the mountain, there was another group at the top sitting and eating snacks. The first thing they do? Throw saltine cracker bits toward the chipmunks. My reaction? Heart palpitations and trying like crazy not to tell them they were breaking the rules.

I don't know where this overwhelming urge to make sure the rules are followed has its roots. I've just always been that way. Perhaps this tendency also complements the type A in me. There is a certain way things need to be done, ergo I will do them in that manner and do them well. I will make sure the rules are followed so the powers that be are pleased with my work (as long as the rules are reasonable and do not ask me to do anything illegal).

What do you think about rules?

working for a charity has its perks...

From time to time there are some nice fringe benefits associated with being employed by a charity. Sometimes.

My more than full-time employment with the Boys & Girls Clubs is probably reasons 1 through 5 why I am so busy all the time. Ok, forget probably. It is reasons 1 through 5. But every once in a while we get little perks. Like free tickets to sporting events. Or I get to have a day like today.

Today I spent the day at the Phoenix Country Club. They are hosting the Goldwater Tennis Classic this week, and the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley is the beneficiary charity (thank you, Grant Woods!). Earlier this week I had been there a couple of times for part of the day, but today was a full day there. From 9 am till the fat lady sang and the tennis tournament ended around 6 pm.

It was a nice, laid back day that was a complete change of pace from the usual chaos I get to endure at the Club (did you see what I did there? I said "get to" not "have to." perspective is a beautiful thing...). I seriously needed a break from the Club melee. The first two days this week this week nearly took everything out of me. So today I enjoyed a day at the country club (sounds kinda pretentious, yes?).

The day included, in no particular order:

• eating a ridiculous amount of Dunkin Donuts munchkins. seriously. i think i ate the equivalent of a dozen donuts. ok, i overspoke. half a dozen.
• watching one set of a singles match that was seriously one-sided and chuckling at the grunting. did i mention the grunting was in a foreign language? it was. i wish i could make this stuff up.
• scoring a DELISH wildberry margarita from the Cruz Tequila reps while selling raffle tickets at a ladies' luncheon.
• eating an equally delish lunch prepared by the PCC at an outdoor table at the edge of the golf course. amazing.
• preparing my variance report while watching a doubles match and soaking in some rays. did i mention the spot where they had us posted was freezing? i found many an excuse to sit and watch matches where the sunlight was ample.

And now I sit in my very warm and comfy yoga pants and long-sleeved gym shirt with slippers warming my now defrosted tootsies looking forward to an equally slow-paced and fun weekend.

It's the little things that make life beautiful, don't you think?

and now for a word from our sponsors...

It's time for a commercial break. Or at least a plain old break.

It seems like the past week was especially hectic, but I blame the lack of a weekend. There were times when I could swear I saw my precious and fleeting free time being sucked into a maelstrom. Hasta la vista.

An observation I made this past week is just how quickly time seems to slip away when you're inside the four walls of a hospital. My sister was in the hospital Saturday night and stayed through Monday morning. She was experiencing numbness down her right side and excruciating pain in her abdomen. After a late night and full morning of test after test, turns out she had gotten a bad kidney infection. She also had a migraine, and the migraine was so bad she wound up numb down her right side. There was a collective sigh of relief when the neurologist confirmed that she hadn't had a stroke and told us all her CT's and the MRI were normal and clear. Despite the fear and the desperation of waiting for test results and consults, it seemed like the time slipped away incredibly quickly. Every time I looked at the clock, it seemed like at least an hour had passed, sometimes more. Before I knew it, I had been there for twelve hours and was on my way home again.

There was some comic relief that came out of the 12 plus hours I spent hanging with Jess and the family on Sunday. Watching the Vikings/Cards game, we saw a sideline analyst wearing what looked like a football fanny pack. If you want to know the new name I gave the fanny pack, ask me off the record. Trust me, it will be worth it. And now anytime anyone in the family does anything, the challenge posed is "now do it with your right hand." There were plenty of "that's what she said" moments, but the best was when the phlebotomist was drawing Jess's blood and told her "I'm glad you weren't too hard" (that's what she said).

The excitement of the weekend was compounded by a very eventful first few days this week. When I got home tonight, I gave Steven a HUGE hug and sighed into his ear "I am soooooo glad we have NOTHING to do tonight." Finally rest. And five minutes to update the blog.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

in today's episode....

...the hero gets the win. Or something like that.

I had a little guy get sick to his stomach shortly after he got to the Club today. He threw up just feet away from the front desk right before snack and was bawling because it scared him so much to throw up, which is a pretty typical response. I mean, even I cry when I throw up. What? You mean everyone doesn't do that. Oh...

Anyway, after helping him get himself cleaned up and making sure people weren't standing around staring at him, he started to shiver. Seriously, the gym at the Club is ridiculously cold. We went outside to warm up, and he asked me some funny questions. My favorite? "Why don't my dogs throw up? They eat stuff off the floor and chew on sticks."

As if that weren't funny enough, he then proceeded to explain to me that he's a vegetarian and vegetarians are people who don't eat meat. Just in case I didn't know. Except the vegetarian cheese is pretty gross so he threw it away. And he's pretty sure the water he drank last night is what got him sick since there was a lot of water in his throw up. Or probably the chips he had at lunch today since they were in his throw up, too.

After much laughter and when he warmed up again, we went back inside and he took it easy until his dad came to pick him up. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing pretty mundane stuff (by comparison). Really, how can helping an 8th grader with his math homework top cleaning up and comforting a 6 year old after he threw up? It can't.

ch-ch-ch-changes

Things are always changing at the speed of life.

It seems like every time I turn around, something is different. No two days of my life are exactly the same. I like it that way.

"You're one of the busiest people I know."

J. Davis, close friend of many years, reminds me regularly of this fact. And I have realized recently just how true that is. I am busy. All the time.

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to brag about being busy or fishing for people to feel sorry for me. I don't want a gold star for being a go-getter, nor am I looking for accolades. I realized that being a type-A personality and the melee in my schedule that results is who I am. It's simply me.

So here I sit. Blogging. Watch out, world. When I get a spare minute (or five), this blog is gonna hear about how things are changing. Let the type-A melee commence.

i'm a survivor

For the sake of posterity, I want to post some general highlights about my experience in BODYATTACK initial instructor training.

The entire experience was incredibly intense. I thought BODYCOMBAT was difficult? I had no idea what I was in for. There were four (that's right, four) trainers running the weekend - Brent McLemore, Kendall Kimball, Janelle, and Amber. Brent and Kendall are kind of a big deal in the BA world - Kendall is the US Program Coach, and Brent works for Les Mills West Coast as a Club Coach and Master Trainer for BA and BODYSTEP. To get us in the zone, we all stood on the stage with our eyes closed while "Chariots of Fire" played in the background. I chuckled quite a bit through that experience, namely because "Chariots of Fire" holds a special place in my heart thanks to my graduation from ASU (there's a story, and yes, you can ask). Master class followed, and most of us felt pretty done in or around track 7 (of 12). If the master class was that demanding, what would the rest of the weekend hold? In our first leture, Brent said something along the lines of "BODYATTACK is like Jane Fonda on crack." Day one included lots of lecture on the key elements of group fitness, a crazy technique session, and a fitness test to end the day. I have a looooong way to go to get myself "fit enough" for BA.

Day two my quads were hurting pretty badly. I had Track 3 to present in the morning and again at the end of the day. I was a little nervous, but having been through the whole rigamarole before it wasn't all that bad. The first presentation and feedback went well, but MAN do I hate to watch myself on video, esp. when I'm teaching. :) After that was the BODYATTACK challenge, or as I like to call it, a sadistic hazing ritual for instructors new to the format not too far removed from being trapped in fitness hell. Another funny Brent-ism, "Be careful what you eat right now [just before the challenge started]. It's called BODYATTACK, not BODY YAK." Remember the quad pain? It was amplified. There were 5 stations in the challenge with 2 exercises each - 1 minute per exercise. Have you ever tried to do 1 minute of plyometric lunges without stopping? It hurts. Like a mofo. Especially when your legs are already pretty spent. The second time through the circuit, around the last 15 or so seconds of squat/jump combos, I started to tear up. My legs SERIOUSLY killed. And I fell over once or twice on the side plank exercise. I went up for the plank and just kept going all the way over to my butt. Afterward, I had sweat so much that my clothes were drenched. Literally could have wrung them out. I was glad I had a change of dry clothes with me, and they were much welcomed. More lecture followed the challenge (thank goodness! sitting felt nice...), and then the final presentations. My second go round I did better than the first, and every last one of us was fighting to get through the movements. We all hurt, were limping around, but we smiled and cheered and pushed. We held nothing back all the way through. It felt so great when we were finished! And to top it off, I got a pass for my module grade.

The aftermath of the entire weekend was that I could hardly walk for 3 days. Seriously! My legs were so sore that transitioning between sitting and standing was incredibly painful, and stepping off of curbs caused me to pause and consider just falling off the curb rather than try to control my steps. But I felt fantastic (psychologically anyway). I was pumped. I had tackled something I honestly NEVER thought I'd be able to do when I started my crazy group fitness journey nearly 2 years ago. It's amazing what you can do when there are people cheering you on who honest and truly believe in you.

living the dream

Lately, whenever people ask me how I'm doing or what's up, I reply with "living the dream." I find that this positively affects my attitude. Seriously. Attitude is everything. I have found that if I am not really feeling like I am living the dream, but I say so with a smile on my face, my outlook becomes a little rosier. I feel a little bit better. I begin to appreciate how I really am living the dream. I have a fabulous husband, wonderful family and friends, a great job, and a nice, warm home (with a nice, warm bed to match) to rest my body in at the end of a hectic day. What more could a girl ask for, really?

we're adults. when did that happen, and how can we make it stop?

I read somewhere recently that changes are rarely gradual. Often, you are not one thing in one moment, and then all of a sudden you are that thing in the next. Becoming a parent can be viewed this way. Yes, there are many months of pregnancy that you have to help prepare you for when a baby arrives, but realistically one moment there isn't a baby, the next there is. Bam. You're a parent (PS I am NOT pregnant; this is merely for illustrative purposes). And becoming an adult seems like it happens in a moment as well. One day you're living at home with your parents, the next you're not. Literally overnight you have your own place, your own bills, your own life to manage and for which to be responsible. Gradual change does not seem to be an option. For that reason, one of my favorite quotes is the title of this blog. It comes from Grey's Anatomy and was delivered by Ellen Pompeo playing Meredith Grey. It's fitting. There are days when I look around me and at my world and wonder, "How did I get here? How did this happen?" Yes, I can (and often do) reflect on the path I took to get me where I am, but really it appears to me that there was a day when I was a kid, and the next I was a married twenty-something with a mortgage and a college degree and a job. Blink and you miss it change is more accurate.

What do you think?

check your head

I must be addicted to endorphins. Seriously. And I need to get my head checked. Why, you ask? Because I just registered for the initial instructor training for yet another wonderful Les Mills program - BODYATTACK (as if BODYCOMBAT weren't intimidating enough, right?). What is BA? Check it out here.

BODYATTACK was the first group fitness class I ventured into in June 2008. It was the class that started my group fitness obsession. You may be wondering if I loved it so much, why wasn't it my first program for certification? Here's why - I ran out halfway through the first class and nearly puked. It was a smidge embarassing. If you checked out the typical class portion of the site, I ran out during the running track. After upper body conditioning, I was toast! I made it back during agility and lasted through the end of the class, but it was rough. Despite all that, I kept going back. Even though my ass felt literally kicked, I felt so good about myself for making it through the class. I had to take the lower intensity options for the first six-ish months I went to the class, but lately I have been able to hang with the high intensity throughout the class. Now I want to teach it. I think I'm "there" (wherever that is).

Countdown to initial training module = 38 days. Just over a month to get myself psyched up and ready to go. And add some new workout clothes to the wardrobe...

if only I had something profound to share

All has been quiet on the blogging front since November. The staycation was good, but by day 5 I was ready to go back to work (I was off for 10). It was a nice little retreat, but I wish I had done a better job taking advantage of the time to get things done at home. I think I waited too long to take a break from work and wound up being a vegetable all week. A happy veg, but a veg nonetheless much to my dear husband's chagrin.

Work got insanely busy while I was gone and did not let up until the end of the school semester. Helping to put together an event that draws upwards of 8,000 people is no easy feat, and I didn't even do the lion's share of the work. Thank God for volunteers! Did you go to the Holiday Festival and Parade in Queen Creek? You should have been there.

The holidays were good. Christmas was a lot of fun. Our family did a true white elephant exchange. I wound up with a pretty cool elephant statue (I have an African themed room in my house), but Steven got the creme de la creme - a VHS tape on the care and cleaning of bagpipes. Amazing.

The start of 2010 has been pretty uneventful. I continue to teach at the gym (taught 7 classes in the first week of the new year!). Central Christian Church is going through the Bible in a year and I've taken the challenge up for what I think is probably the third or fourth time in my life, but I will do it! Steven and I are reading through a great book by Willard Harley titled Love Busters. It's a follow up to His Needs, Her Needs, and I strongly suggest it for any married couple trying to keep the flames a-burning. Oh yeah, and work is still crazy busy.

I got sick last week with what I like to call "the funk." Just a head cold, but oh so annoying. I am battling valiantly and looking forward to when my sniffles cease. Meds have been helping. I am steering clear of Nyquil and Dayquil since they just make my brain foggy (no bueno), but the allergy medicine is helping to decongest. Victory!

One thing I have come to realize this year - sometimes, working on having a happy and fulfilling marriage can feel like trying to climb Mt. Everest without a freakin' sherpa. It doesn't feel that way always (just from time to time), but at least the sherpa returns at some point to keep leading the climb. Think about that one for a little bit.

I guess that's all for now. Before I digress completely into randomness, I'll sign off for now. Happy 2010 readers!