simply me

a baby story....

2011-12-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

....and better than the ones on TLC. Because it's my baby story, natch.

All right. I said that one day I would post my baby story, and here I am. Four days away from going back to work (80 days after becoming a mommy). Posting my story.

It was a day like any other. The weather was nice, but we were due to get some rain. I had gone to bed late the night before because I was up chatting on Facebook with my sister and a friend about how I was feeling. I was 38 weeks 6 days pregnant. May as well have been 38 months. I was ready to rock.

6:15 am, September 14
I got up a little earlier than normal that day because it was the day to wash my hair, and I had a doctor's appointment set for before work. Yes, I do not wash my hair every day when I straighten it. Since having a baby I'm sporting my natural, curly look more often. Less time consuming. But I digress.

After my morning trip to the commode, I noticed a little something extra trickled out after I thought I had emptied my bladder. I figured maybe I just hadn't gotten everything out. When you're 9 months pregnant, the bladder is a little squished. It doesn't quite work like it used to. I disregarded it and stepped on the scale. 189 pounds. Ick.

Off to the shower, where I realized I should probably shave my legs. It had been a while and I was feeling up to the task of bending over to get them done. This wasn't a feeling that struck often. Seriously. Imagine bending over when your belly is the size of a watermelon while wielding a sharp object meant to remove hair from your epidermis. Pretty scary, huh?

I managed to get my shave on pretty successfully, but noticed that each time I stood up I had a little trickle again just like when I had been...um...taking a leak? Anyway. Now I began to wonder "Could it be? Is my water 'broken?' Seems a little less geyser-like than I expected..." I get out of the shower where a pretty steady trickle leads to to answer my prior question with a semi-confident "yes" and results in waking up Steven with, "Honey, my water broke?" (I did say it with a questioning inflection to my voice)

What do I do next, you ask? Panic? Begin flurrying around the house trying to frantically get together last minute items needed for the already-been-packed-for-a-few-weeks hospital bag? Nope. I got dressed and ate a bowl of Golden Grahams. I told Steven maybe he should go to work since I wasn't feeling any contractions yet, so we must have plenty of time until the real show started. After that, Steven and I prayed for the labor and delivery, since we knew we were going to have a baby in the next 24 hours. After a trip to the restroom where I saw (and thought at the time was it) the "bloody show," I told Steven maybe he should call out of work. And then I waxed my eyebrows and upper lip.

WHAT?!

Yes, you read that right. I went to the bathroom and waxed. Hey, it had been a while. I knew there were going to be post delivery pictures to be had and I wanted to at least know I had handled some long overdue grooming. And then I straightened my hair, which is an hour long process. I wanted to look good, which I realized about 6 cm into dilating during labor was COMPLETELY unnecessary. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Funny side note: at this point, Steven and I had both called out of work but had not called anyone in the family yet to give them a heads up about what was happening. We figured we'd have plenty of time. I still wasn't feeling contractions and we didn't want people to sit around forever waiting in a hospital for us.

8:45 am
One ridiculous grooming ritual and a few more slightly wetter trickles of broken water later, I am on my way to my OB's office. That's right. I don't head to the hospital. I go to the OB. Again, first time mom. No contractions. Broken water. Feeling clueless but still pretty darn relaxed. I step out of the car at the doctor's and make it to the back end of my vehicle when...

....Niagra. Freakin. Falls. So this is the dramatic water breaking gush that gets dramatized on television. Considering my location, there are worse places where this could have happened. Like the produce section at the grocery store. Or Applebee's.

Steven is on his way to meet me at the doctor, and being the responsible person I am I still trek upstairs to the doctor's office, soaking wet pants and all.

Me: "Um, my water just broke in the parking lot, but I have an appointment at 8:50 with Dr. Richardson. I don't think I'm going to make it to that appointment."
Lady in waiting room about as pregnant as me: "Lucky."
Receptionist: "Seriously? Hang on a second. Dr. Richardson, right?"

One lady comes out and tells me to head to triage at the hospital, but I calmly tell her my husband is on his way and could I please have a place to sit down? Imagine me doing a really awkward dance trying to hide my soaked front and back pants from anyone who can see me. It's not effective.

I get taken back to some random exam room and put in a chair where I sit and wait for Steven to arrive. Everyone seems freaked out that I'm so calm. Am I supposed to be freaking out? I don't know. After a quick exchange with the doctor where she tells us not to run every red light but to get to the hospital (which she is going to call while we're en route to let them know we're en route), Steven and I head home to drop off a car and pick up the hospital bag. I probably should have been a little more flurry-ish about packing the last minute stuff.

On the drive home, the contractions finally start. Little, crampy contractions coming once every couple of minutes. I'm surprised they're happening so quickly, but I'm also singing and dancing along to LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem" so I don't really notice. At this point, both the moms have been alerted that it's baby time.

9:15 am
Finally reunited at home, Steven and I put together the last minute things. At this point I have changed into a fresh pair of pants. I'm hunched over the counter in the kitchen every time a contraction hits, swaying back and forth just trying to stay calm. The swaying didn't really seem to help, but the laboring women in the childbirth videos we watched did it and it looked soothing so I figured what the hey? I'll give it a whirl. I keep asking Steven if he wants to pack a sandwich because I don't want him to get low blood sugar or be hungry while I'm in labor. He told me later he thought I was crazy.

9:30 am
Car seat is locked and loaded in the backseat, ready for a baby. Hospital bags are packed and loaded in the car. Steven and I climb in the car and pull away from home as a family of two for the last time. I have to admit, the drive to the hospital was eerily calm and not at all what we pictured. Steven told me every boy dreams of getting to race his laboring wife (who should be sceaming and not serene like me) to the hospital. Here we were, driving the speed limit and signalling for every lane change. We're laughing and chatting like it's just a leisurely morning drive. At one point Steven asked me if I wanted him to drift up to the hospital entrance just for effect.

We had to circle the lot for a while to find a spot and found one in the last row. Again, slow and steady driving. I told Steven to leave the bags in the car because we would have time to bring them in later. A volunteer took us by golf cart to the Women and Infant's Services entrance. He was nice and trying to make small talk the whole way in, but I was contracting and wincing over every bump. I'm sure he was very funny.

9:45 am
I happened to go into labor on the day the computer system went down at the hospital where I delivered. Oh, and there was only one person doing OB admitting that morning. Did I also mention another couple beat us to admitting by about 5 seconds? All that to say I got to sway and hold myself up against the wall in a hallway as contractions kept coming. And coming. And coming while the other couple got admitted. At this point it was starting to get difficult to talk through the contractions and I was trying really hard to be patient.

Thankfully my turn came quickly enough and the paperwork for me was already waiting since the doctor called ahead. I kept getting asked asinine questions I had already answered when I did the pre-admission a month prior, and I couldn't talk or think during contractions. There must be something about people at this hospital and friendly small talk. All I heard was the Charlie Brown teacher. Wah wah wah wah wah wah.

I got directly admitted, but had to wait in the OB waiting room to be taken back. Unfortunately for the custodial staff, Niagra Falls made another appearance while I was waiting.

Me (to L & D nurse, while water is running down my legs): I think I made a mess on that couch.

I waddled my way back to my labor and delivery room with wet pants (again). I swear everyone was staring at me like they'd never seen a woman with broken water squishing through a hallway before.

10:30 am
After changing into a hospital gown, going potty, and filling out what felt like a million forms and answering a lot of questions, I finally got checked to see how I was progressing. At this point I was 3-4 cm dilated, 100% effaced, and Natalie had dropped to the -1 station. Not a bad place to start.

I told my nurse, Lesley, that the long and short of my birth plan was no meds. I didn't have any scripted birth plan aside from this. No meds. The end. She told me she would help me get my goal.

Steven had been letting our parents know that we were at the hospital. It took a couple of contractions, but I managed to get a quick text sent to my dad.

"At the hospital. Water broke this morning."

That was all I could manage to type out. After these initial contacts, the phones sat at the wayside and it was game. on.

12:00 pm
Contractions were coming pretty rapidly and hurt pretty badly. Any time I started to feel one coming on, I started to look around the room for Steven. I needed him at my side holding my hand. Once or twice I think I rolled my eyes and said "Oh crap" when I felt a contraction start. I also started to wonder aloud where my mom was.

Side note: Just 24 hours before this, I was having a conversation with a friend at work about how I wasn't sure I would want my mom in the room while I was in labor.

At this point I was flipping from side to side after every few contractions to stay comfortable. Lesley was doing some counterpressure with my knees, and she and Steven were working hard to keep me from tensing up too much at the peaks of each contraction. It was working pretty well, but the contractions were really starting to hurt. I'd say a 6 or 7 on a scale of 10. Lesley checked progress, and I was dilated to 6 cm. I was starting to feel like I was going to throw up during contractions, so I got some Zofran (sp?) via IV to take care of the nausea.

I got out of bed and went into the shower with Steven. No, not to do husband and wife things. He was aiming the shower head where I needed the hot water most on my back during contractions. I labored in the shower for a good 45 minutes. My mom, mother-in-law, and dad arrived around 12:30.

Lesley: Is everyone staying in the room (whispers and raises her eyebrows) even the man?

My mom checked to see how I was doing and looked like she was going to crap her pants when I told her I was dilated to 6 already. She stayed and prayed with Steven and I as I told her briefly about the morning.

Me: Blah blah blah (contraction starts) stand by. (contraction ends) Ok, where was I?

1:00 pm
The trip to the shower helped me to relax some. I was starting to moan and say really funny things like "owie" during contractions at this point. It was taking a lot of concentration to stay focused in la-la-labor land. Cell phone text alerts kept going off as family was checking in, but the tones were distracting me. I actually asked everyone in the room if they could pretty please turn off the phones.

Lesley checked me again and I was dilated to 7 cm. Steven's mom had skipped lunch and we figured we had some time still, so she went to get food from the hospital cafeteria. Little did we know she decided to go pick up Steven's dad 30 minutes away.

1:30 pm
The contractions were coming hard and fast now. I started to cry because they hurt so bad. Lesley let me know that I was doing great, but just in case I changed my mind no pain meds after 8 cm. Then I felt a doozy of a contraction. Seriously a 9 of 10 for pain. I told Steven I didn't think I could do it because it was starting to hurt so bad. And then another really painful contraction hit. This time I felt like I needed to push (and did a little).

Me: I think I need to push.
Lesley: (checking) Yep, you're at 9 1/2 centimters. There's a tiny sliver of cervix left. I'm going to page the doctor. It's time to push.
Me: Really? I did it? Really?
My dad: And that's my cue to exit. Just come get me in the waiting room when Natalie's here!

This was when we found out Steven's mom had gone to pick up his dad.

1:35 pm
Dr. Guzman, a really great doctor from the practice I went to for prenatal care, was the doctor on call that day. I had gone to him for my 37 weeks appointment, and he had delivered my niece in February, so I at least knew who he was and was comfortable that he was the doctor delivering my baby. He walked in the room as I was coming out of another particulary painful contraction (lots of moaning and owie-ing).

Me: Owie owie owie. (contraction ends). Heeeeey Dr. Guzman.

He got suited up and ready to go. The bed got taken apart, Lesley coached us on how the pushing phase was going to go (lots of breath holding, ab crunching, and legs being pulled back), and out came the foot rests.

1:50 pm
It starts. The pushing. I felt a contraction begin, took a deep breath, and pushed. Longest. 10. seconds. ever. And then I had to jump right back into another push? Seriously? I'd get 3 or 4 good pushes in with each contraction, but I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion. At least the pushing didn't hurt, it was just physically difficult.

In between each contraction, my tummy started to growl. The Golden Grahams weren't holding out as well as I had hoped. I was hungry.

1:59 pm
Foot paddles were replaced with fancy stirrups that held my legs up better and higher while I was pushing. I felt much more comfortable.

The next contraction Natalie crowned. And then went back. And her heart rate dropped a little. I had to push in between contractions to keep her cruising down the birth canal.

Dr. Guzman: Sandi, do you see that trash can over my shoulder? On this next push, I want you to shoot this baby out into the trash can.
Me: (weakly) Okay.

2:04 pm
Lesley gave me oxygen. I girded my loins (literally). I pushed with all my might and out came Natalie's head. One more push and out came her body. Then she was on my chest, crying and looking into my eyes. Reaching out and touching my face. All I could manage to eke out was "Hi."

Natalie Faith made her debut weighing in at 6 lbs. 15.4 oz and 20 in. long. Her APGAR scores were 9/9. I had a perfectly healthy baby girl, and I did it all without meds.

welcome to the motherhood....

2011-10-24T15:37:00.000-07:00

....not to be confused with being a mutha *@$%#! in da hood. There is a difference.

Here I sit as my sweet baby sleeps almost 6 weeks after the main event. Some day I will get around to posting my birth story. I still can't believe I grew and birthed a little human. But I digress.

While I'm still figuring this motherhood thing out, I have made a few observations in my semi-conscious, really-wishing-I-could-wind-down-and-nap-more-because-my-baby-only-sleeps-3-hours-at-a-time-overnight-when-I'm-lucky state. Life with newborns. #mommyproblems

Anyway. My thoughts. Did the thought train derail again? Blast.

Side note: some of these thoughts are ideas I got from a Babycenter.com list of 42 things that change when you have a baby. I decided to hone in on the ones most relevant to my situation.

I finally respect my body. Because of my pregnancy weight gain, I have a lot of extra honky tonk in my badonky donk. Not to mention that my thighs don't whisper to each other when I walk. They scream. I have some pretty gnarly mommy scars (some call them stretch marks, but I think mommy scars sounds more hardcore). All of this I wear as badges of honor. Why? I had a baby. Without medication. No epidural. No spinal. Nothing except a little anti-nausea medication because I seriously felt like I was going to throw up during active labor. It was by no stretch easy. It's not called a picnic; it's called labor for a reason. I felt like I was going to give in for the love of anesthesia many times. And then I was pushing a baby past my pelvic bone and out my lady bits (cue funeral dirge...or maybe "Ave Maria"...what once was will never be the same again, dear va-jay). Oddly the pushing part didn't hurt. Before I knew it, there was a beautiful baby on my chest looking me in the eyes and reaching out to touch my face. Women say it all the time, but seriously my body took over and told me what to do. I just knew when it was time to push. I knew we needed to go to the hospital (okay...my water had broken, but still I had a feeling we shouldn't labor at home and needed to be in the hospital). I am still in awe that I was able to have an unmedicated natural childbirth, and now that my sweet Natalie girl is here my body still amazes me in a number of ways. How quickly it rebounded after childbirth. How quickly my baby bulge became an almost imperceptible little lump of pudge. How it provides just the right amount of nutrition and food for my baby via breastfeeding. Yeah, I get discouraged seeing how I used to look compared to now. I have some work to do to get back to pre-pregnancy awesomeness. But for now I have "just had a baby" awesomeness to rock. And I love it!

Everything makes me cry. It seemed like I cried if I waited too long to take a pee break the first couple of weeks after Natalie was born. While I have gotten my emotions under control since the hormone roller coaster has become more of a lazy river, there are still things that get me weepy. Like the news. I watch all these stories from a mom's perspective now. The world is kind of depressing. I also cry sometimes when I look at Natalie and I'm overwhelmed by how amazing of a miracle she is. My mom says all this crying is payback for making fun of her being a leaky faucet. Perhaps.

The definition of a good night's sleep has forever changed. Related: I used to think I knew what the word "exhausted" meant. Before moving into the motherhood, a good night's sleep was at least 7 hours. I couldn't function with less than that. Thankfully, the midnight runs to the potty during my third trimester sort of prepped me for what was to come. In the motherhood, a good night's sleep has become whenever Natalie sleeps for at least 3 hours at a time. If I get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row, I feel like a new woman in the morning. After making it through the first three weeks, I've somewhat adjusted. There are times where I feel like I'm barely going to make it through the day. Thank goodness for naptime.

I have to harness my inner detective. In case you hadn't heard, babies don't talk. They cry. All of their cries mean something, but you have to play detective to figure out what the heck they need and want. After going through the usual suspects (hunger, dirty diaper), it's tough to figure out what's wrong when she keeps on crying. Enter inner detective. I'm no Nancy Drew and the hubs certainly isn't a Hardy Boy, so we have a lot of trial and error going on to figure out how to soothe our sweet girl. After nearly 6 weeks, we still feel clueless most of the time but we still love her dearly.

What I once thought would be sacrifices just aren't. I thought I would resent having to give up being able to go and do whenever I want. I don't because there's nowhere I'd rather be than with my daughter. When baby was gassy and fussy no matter what I did and I realized I would need to give up dairy, I thought it would be impossible. It's not because I see how much happier and calmer my daughter is without it in my diet. I realize I would move heaven and earth to make sure she's taken care of, even if it means I go without certain things I used to have or do.

It's going to take some time getting adjusted to my new surroundings in this 'hood, but in a strange way it feels like I've always lived here. Well, I know there's nowhere else I'd rather be anyway.

quiet time...

2011-09-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

...is something that I have come to value greatly. And it isn't too hard to get.

I woke up really early this morning. I guess it isn't all that surprising since I fell asleep really early last night, but I digress. Early mornings are my favorite because I get time alone in the quiet. Well, for now anyway. My husband is sleeping, and the only noises I hear are some household appliances that are running and my tapping on the keyboard. Glorious.

Quiet time is wonderful. There is so much noise and hub-bub going on that sometimes getting a little peace and quiet is a gift. No TV. No music. No conversation. Just me, my thoughts, and a the ability to enjoy some time with God.

The noise of the world definitely drowns out the voice of God. But here, in my quiet time, I can hear Him. I can feel His divine hand in my life, especially when I feel my little miracle of a daughter rolling and moving around in my belly. It will be so strange when I don't have that connection with her anymore.

Quiet time allows me to read the Scriptures and reflect on what God wants me to learn. Today I read Matthew 16 as part of a 100-day reading challenge our church gave to the congregation. In Matthew 16, the message I took away from it was that sometimes there are trials and discomforts that we must face in our walks with God that the world may not want us to endure. Our call is to persevere and not allow the comforts of the world deter us from facing those trials and becoming stronger on the other side as a result. Peter tries to tell Jesus that he shouldn't have to face the end-of-life trials he foretells to the disciples, and Jesus' response? "Get behind me Satan." To Peter. The man He calls, in verses just prior to that, the Rock of his church. The cornerstone on which the future Christian movement would be built (check out Acts 2 for one of Peter's finer moments in living out this calling...the Day of Pentecost).

It is a blessing to have some time to collect yourself and do something meaningful in the quiet. What will you do to take advantage? How can you be still and find some solace in the silence today?

miscellany and potpurri...

2011-08-25T18:14:00.000-07:00

...yeah, kind of like the Jeopardy category. What's been on Sandi's mind lately for $500, Alex?

In short, mostly the impending birth of my daughter. But there have been a lot of other things going through my mind, too. A sampling of my mental potpurri can be found below.

Apologies. It's interesting. There was a day when I was in an argument with the hubs about apologizing. I know, strange what one argues with her significant other about when under the influence of fetus. He had done something that hurt my feelings, and I thought he should apologize. He didn't want to apologize because he thought he hadn't done anything wrong and didn't want it to be an empty apology. I wish I could say this ended happily (it didn't...well not until much later). But it got me thinking about how if it were a work situation where a customer/parent/whoever was complaining to either one of us about something that had offended them, we would apologize for the issue and set about correcting it for that person (even if we didn't think they were right about it). I don't understand why sometimes it is so much easier for us to treat strangers better than those we claim we care the most about. Side note: While this argument wasn't necessarily a "win" for me, at the end of the day I still very much adore and respect my husband for being willing to stick to his guns. I wouldn't want him to lie to me and say he's sorry when he isn't either.

Weight. I had hoped to resolve my hate/loathe relationship with the bathroom scale by the time my pregnancy came to an end, but alas the scale has won this battle. Sandi - 0. Scale -1. The strange thing in all of this is that gaining so much weight helped me to gain a little perspective too (pun intended). As the weight packed on, my workouts at the gym became markedly more difficult. I felt more pain in my joints and less and less able to keep up with what I had been able to do fifty pounds lighter (no, that's not a typo). I think in the long run this is going to help me to be a more effective coach in my group fitness classes. It is going to help me empathize with my larger participants and help me to offer them options that will prevent injury and/or excessive soreness post-workout.

Childbirth. I guess I never realized how granola and earthy I really am until I started to really think about childbirth. Here's the deal. I always assumed I'd be the "induce my labor and get me an epidural so I can be a mommy" mom. The more I learned about both, the less and less I want either. No woman has been pregnant forever, even if it feels like I have been at times. My baby and my body know what to do. Labor will start when my baby is good and ready to make her appearance in this world. I was built to deliver this baby without medication, even though they don't call it labor for nothing. So after a lot of reading and exploring, I've decided that I want to have as natural of a childbirth as I can assuming there is no medical reason that comes up to prevent it. My biggest concern is and continues to be that I will need a C-section. Why, you ask? At 29 weeks we found out our baby was in a breech presentation, but as of last week's appointment she had turned head down. While I'm hopeful/confident she'll stay this way, I can help but feel a nagging fear that I'm going to have to be cut open. No. thank. you. I'd rather sacrifice my lady bits to the birthing process than have a 4-6 inch scar and major abdominal surgery to deliver my baby.

Parenthood. I'll be moving to a new 'hood in about a month from now. The parenthood. The daunting task of actually raising and being responsible for a human life is a little overwhelming to me. I know I'll figure it out and that there are plenty of people who have survived it before me (and continue to survive it). I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time. I still can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.

Leadership. There have been a few opportunities lately for me to learn more about the abstract concept of leadership. What it is. What it isn't. What it looks like when it's effective. How to deal with difficult personalities. How to develop superior work teams. And you know what I've discovered? What I don't know and can't do far outweighs what I do know and can do. I heard that at the Global Leadership Summit in early August, and it really impacted me. I also discovered that I'm kind of a huge fan of learning, especially about leadership.

Anyway, there's the fragrant mental potpurri that's been brewing for the past 10 weeks. I will do my best to keep posting as the pregnancy draws closer to its end and the day I will offically be someone's mother gets here.

(not so) early to bed...

2011-06-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

...early to rise. I'm still waiting on the healthy, wealthy, and wise part. Ok, maybe just the last two.

Lately I have been falling asleep at later than normal (for me) times. We're talking after 10 pm. I know, I know...I'm one helluva party animal. It's how the suburban, married, and pregnant folk roll. I'm usually pretty dead to the world by 10 pm, if not earlier, so this has been strange.

But stranger still is the fact that I have been waking up early (5 am or so) without my alarm clock and feeling wide awake. You might be thinking, "Well, yeah, everyone is waking up earlier on their own. It's summer time. The sun is rising earlier." That would be a valid point if I were sleeping a room without blackout curtains. I'm sleeping in a cave. I can sort of tell it's light out by the little bit of sun that pokes through the bottom edges of the curtains. Sort of.

Along with this strangeness is the fact that I've been sleeping better than normal. Background: I am a light sleeper. And it usually takes me a looong time to fall asleep. Well, longer than my husband anyway. His deep breathing when he falls asleep was enough to keep me from falling asleep even longer, thus frustrating me more (not frustrated with him, just the inability to fall asleep). So I've been sleeping with ear plugs for about 6 years now. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without my foam ear plugs. Even still, there are noises that aren't completely blocked out that will wake me up. Not lately, though. I've been sleeping more heavily, even with my 26 weeks pregnant belly that likes to impede my rolling over. And did I mention my ninja baby? Hi-ya!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining, just fascinated. I never considered myself a morning person...or a night person. I always considered myself more a "middle of the day" person. Slow to really get going and then firing on all pistons during the day and running out of juice sometime around 8 pm or so, sometimes earlier. In recent weeks, I've found myself uber productive in the mornings at home, getting the most done first thing at work, slogging through a wall of no energy or motivation midafternoon, and then re-energizing after having dinner with the hubs and unwinding from the work day. I like the change. I feel like I'm getting more done than I ever did before.

I guess circadian rhythms can change just like one's tastebuds do over time.

pregnancy reflections...

2011-05-24T09:17:00.001-07:00

...and more than the kind I see in the mirror. natch.

For the past few weeks I've been thinking about all stuff pregnancy-related. I had hit the halfway point a few weeks ago (week 23 coming up on Thursday!), so it seemed like a pretty natural reflection point. Milestones have a strange way of doing that to a person.

Here are some of the things I've come to realize so far:

The bathroom scale and I are no longer friends. We reached an impasse early in this pregnancy relationship. While the "normal" woman will gain up to 5 lbs. in the first trimester (conception to 14 weeks), I gained 5 lbs. by week 7 and crept up to 12 lbs. total by the end of the first trimester. I wanted to blame raging hormones since I'm the type of girl whose weight fluctuates a good 5-10 lbs with her monthly cycle (TMI), but when my doctor started to use phrases like "increased risk for pre-eclampsia" when it came to the weight gain, I got scared. So now I'm re-evaluating my eating and activity habits. Yeah, I can make little tweaks. And maybe I'll be able to reconcile my relationship with the bathroom scale before this 40 week journey is up.

A sense of humor will help you survive. Case in point: the rules of normal social etiquette go out with window with a pregnant woman. Would you go up to an overweight person and tell him/her that s/he is "huge" and could stand to lose a few pounds? Or a person who is severely underweight and suggest s/he eat a hamburger to gain a few pounds? No? Funny, those rules don't seem to apply to a pregnant woman. I get comments that run the gamut, but I try to just laugh most of them off. When a person comments on how big I'm getting, I tend to laugh and grab my belly then reply with something like "Yeah, funny how that happens when you're growing a human."

Thirty seconds can feel like an eternity. Before my daughter became a high-powered martial artist/kicking machine, I worried all the time that something was wrong. My only solace was when we'd go to the doctor (only once every 4 weeks, mind you!) and get to hear her heartbeat with the Doppler. Finding a heartbeat on a baby the size of a small piece of fruit takes a few seconds, but those thirty seconds seemed like an eternity. I never realized how hard I was holding my breath waiting to hear the woosh woosh woosh of the heartbeat until I'd hear it and exhale. Hard. Luckily, God knows that I am an anxious person by nature so Natalie (yep...that's her name!) made her presence known early. At 16 weeks on the nose. Most first time moms don't feel the first kicks until the halfway point. She let Steven know she's in there when he felt her kick for the first time last night , again ahead of schedule.

Your body does some really weird stuff when you're growing a human. I love that my super power is growing humans. It's a pretty sweet gig when you think about it. The miracle of life is happening inside my body! But there are a lot of strange things that happen when you're pregnant because the hormone changes affect EVERYTHING, not just your lady bits. Like I feel like I have a perpetually stuffy nose, my gums tend to be super sensitive, and I think I have the attention span of a fruit fly. It's not all bad or weird, though. Some of the little perks are that your body stops producing smelly sweat, your hair doesn't fall out as quickly so it stays thick, and hello! cleavage! It's also strange how I can distinguish between Natalie's kicks and her hiccups. Sixth sense?

Creating human life makes a person re-evaluate her priorities. I have spent a lot of time thinking about how I spend my time. Redundant, I know. Seriously, though, the prospect of being someone's mother and bringing a little person into the world has forced me to take stock of what takes up my time. I want to make sure that my family is a high priority, so I've started practicing this now by making my time with Steven count. I've tried to make it so late nights at work are the exception and not the rule, and for the most part I'm doing well with it. I'm trying to use my time in the mornings and on weekends more wisely so that the task lists I have get taken care of efficiently and I have nothing distracting me when I get home from work at night.

I really do like the color pink. Most of the girls in my family (all 5 of us sisters and my mom) are not what you would call girly-girls. Okay, none of us are. All of us were rough and tumble tomboys who liked to play sports more than we liked to play house/dress-up/dolls. I didn't learn how to apply makeup until...okay I'm still figuring it out. I never learned how to French braid. I'm more comfortable with a bandsaw than a sewing machine. I like to cook and bake, but it's taken time to figure out how to do more than make macaroni and cheese or cake from a box mix. But I really do like how much pink is popping up in my house. And I can't wait to buy my baby girl dresses and ribbons and bows.

Pregnancy is pretty uneventful for the most part. I feel like once I hit the second trimester and stopped feeling like a zombie, I've been on cruise control. Even the first trimester wasn't too shabby. I never threw up or felt nauseous (I know you hate me). Natalie is growing. I go to the doctor every month like I'm supposed to. For the most part, though, it's a waiting game. I feel pretty normal (sciatic nerve issues and disappearing waistline aside), and the doctor's appointments consist of peeing in a cup, getting my blood pressure checked, hearing the heartbeat, the doctor checking for where the top of my uterus is sitting, and then answering any questions I have (I usually have zero). I'm in and out in less than half an hour. I don't know what I was expecting, but I don't know that I was expecting it to be this....normal.

I know every woman experiences different things and has stories to tell (trust me...I hear everything good, bad and in between!), but I wanted to share mine so far. What are your pregnancy reflections...even from dad's perspective?

what are you waiting for, huh?

2011-04-29T10:46:00.001-07:00

...I think this blog title is some kind of taunt from a victim to a psycho in a horror film. I could be wrong.

Nonetheless, what was I waiting for? Per my usual M.O., I overloaded my life with craziness and haven't had time to do anything but a fast-food drive-thru blog. Pathetic, really. And perhaps a sign that I need to slow down, especially since I'm at the halfway point of my pregnancy. Nah...that's crazy talk.

But I suppose I should at least catch up with where I left off at the last blog.

Four weeks ago I was relaxing in San Jose, CA with Kelsey. We had a fantastic weekend! I saw Black Swan for the first time (again, what was I waiting for, huh?), got a whirlwind walking tour of SJSU and San Francisco, spent an afternoon in Santa Cruz enjoying food on the pier and watching Kelsey get pooped on by seagulls, laughed at an Anjelah Johnson show at The Improv, went toe-to-toe with a surly car rental agent to get some money back (and won), and then spent a day relaxing before flying home to be back with hubby. Amazing.

Since then, I have had three of the most whirlwind weeks at work and at home. Golf tournament. Meetings. Three-day management training. Meetings. Awards breakfast attended by 600 people. Meetings. Projects. Meetings. Planning for Summer Day Camp (yikes...only 18 days of school left!). Meetings. Bittersweet going away party for one of my favorite Branch Executives. Meetings. Surprise party for my step dad. Meetings. Easter. And did I mention meetings?

This week, Steven and I went for our anatomy ultrasound and got to see our baby as an actual baby (compared to the tadpole alien looking thing it was at 7 weeks). SHE is healthy! She! I'm going to have a daughter. More crazy talk. I can't believe I'm going to be someone's mother.

In the spirit of staying consistent with buseyness, on the slate for this weekend is a build with Habitat for Humanity, spending time with one of Steven's friends at the movies, and then enjoying the beginning of May.

MAY?!?! How did that happen?

Time to slow down and smell the roses. And maybe start the baby registry.

fast food drive thru blog...

2011-04-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

...a quickie to appease the appetite of my few readers. I know you're hungry for content.

went on vacation for 4 days to visit my best friend Kelsey. more detailed awesomeness to follow.

work is keeping me busy.

marriage is keeping me happy and (somewhat) sane

baby and I are healthy

I am loving life

Okay, that's all for now since I have to run off to work. But I PROMISE to come back soon and fill in more details. Like I said, awesomeness to follow. At least I think so anyway.

breaking the silence...

2011-03-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

...with a fat bottle of sparking cider. It's time to celebrate!

Why are we celebrating? For one, tomorrow is my birthday. And why sparkling cider instead of a bottle of champagne or a cheap bottle of liquor in a little brown bag (gotta stay classy)? Because I'm 13 weeks pregnant.

Wait! Rewind! Did I just say it's my birthday tomorrow? Yes I did. And I'll be a whole lotta 27 years old.

Oh. You were more surprised by the announcement that I'm pregnant? I suppose I should have expected that. But before I address this miraculous and exciting news, I want to spend a little time in retrospective mode.

So, each year I kind of view my birthday as my New Year's Day. Most people do that cliche thing where the new year is January 1, and while I appreciate that day's opportunity for reflection and resolution, I much prefer to use my birthday. Color me rogue.

Twenty-six was a roller coaster ride of a year, and it was an amazing year of growth and personal resolve. I wove the story of my first pregnancy and resulting miscarriage here, and let's just say that the experience left me feeling broken but also provided for the most significant period of personal growth in my life to date. It opened my eyes to just how ridiculously selfish I can be. Seriously people, I was yelling at pregnant women out of jealousy and unmitigated rage over my loss. There were moments where I made friends angry, words that were spat venomously out of my mouth led to tears in others' eyes, and gave me such a slap-in-the-face reality check about the depravity of my situation that I couldn't help but change. Grow up. Get over myself.

The past year also instilled in me a sense of resolve. Once I stopped blaming God for my loss and could read my Bible without wanting to hurl it across the room, I spent time meditating on Scripture. I found myself hearing the still, small voice of the Lord prompting me to get back in relationship with Him because He never left me, even when I pushed him far away. I learned that He never promised that we wouldn't experience pain and loss, but He promised that through it all he'd be at our sides. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4.

This realization led me to be able to climb up out of the muck and trust that all would turn out okay. I started to recall other verses that provide me peace when I feel like the world is crumbling around me. "The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14; "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28, 30. I realize that not all my friends out there believe in God and that's okay. I just hope that like me you have something to hold onto and put your faith in when the world around you feels like it's falling apart.

My 27-years-old New Year resolution? To become a better version of me. To continue to grow. To continue to place my faith and hope in something bigger than myself that I know I can trust (read: God). And to prepare myself to be a good mommy.

Okay, okay...back to the happy news about being pregnant. After the day of days, I felt closure and relief. I was able to relax and move on. But there was a part of me that still hurt about not being a mom when I could have been.

Fast forward to MLK Day weekend, and the monthly visitor from Hades still hadn't made her grand appearance two days after she was due. I decided to take a test just to see. I had a feeling "this could be it!" but I tried not to get too excited.

What do you know? The stick turned blue!

I felt like I was holding my breath for the first few weeks while we waited for our first ultrasound, but on February 2 Steven and I got to see our little alien baby at 7 weeks (it doesn't look remotely human this early on) and hear its tiny little heart beat. I pretty much melted into a mess of happiness, but managed not to lose it crying in the ultrasound room.

More breath holding as we rode out the next 5 weeks and went back for an appointment last week. 12 weeks. A pretty monumental week. Although not officially the end of the first trimester, a pretty significant day nonetheless. The MA found the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler, and again it was music. I could listen to that little lub-dub all day long.

Anyway, the big due date is September 22. I am really looking forward to the life changes this new year of mine has to bring. And I really hope I manage to keep up this growth kick I've been on (not just physically...a thank you!).

in my rearview...

2010-12-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

...I watched the lights of Queen Creek fade into the distance. And then my eyes started to water.

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I posted about the day of days? At the end of it, I talked about how beauty came from the pain and not in the way I expected. I had a good day that day in the face of the sadness I had in my soul, but I couldn't divulge the details about why or how it was a good day.

I guess now I should share. Sit back for show and tell, blog friends.

Back in October, when I was still off the blogging radar, an incredible opportunity to advance my career with the Boys & Girls Club presented itself. The person in my position at a large club had been promoted, so his position opened up. I had a feeling this person (hi Mark!) was going to get the promotion. I knew that would mean his job would open up. And then I paused. Thought about the implications for me. For my current club. For the community I serve. All that to say that well before the opportunity presented itself, I had time to consider the what ifs. What if it did?

When the position posted, I sent in my resume and letter of interest the same day. It was too good to pass up.

Two months and two interviews later, on the day of days, I heard the magic words.

"We would like to offer you the position."

I said yes 2.5 miliseconds later. Lots of happy celebrating followed, but all on the inside. I had to keep my mouth shut about the big move until the official announcement went out five very long days later.

Fast forward to yesterday.

Yesterday was my last full day as the Branch Executive in Queen Creek. It was a good day, and it was raining all afternoon. I found myself with watery eyes when I didn't expect them. The strange thing is that the kids didn't seem all that broken up about me leaving. I guess it won't really sink in for them until next week when I'm really not there. Either that or they really won't miss me. I think it's the former based on the art the kids made for me to take to my new office.

After Club hours, I went back to my office and started to pack up my things. And then I sat there and stared at the walls for close to an hour to make sure I got everything. Plus I couldn't bring myself to get up and leave. Then it would be real. I took care of random things to postpone my leaving, like changing my email signature and organizing drawers and cabinets. I found a lot of random things I had forgotten about, too. Two boxes of stuff and two hours later, I finally hoofed it out of the office and started to drive home.

It wasn't until I was on my way out of Queen Creek watching it from my rearview mirror that I started to cry. Nothing dramatic or over the top. Just a little wetness in my eyes as I was mourning the end of a really great chapter in my life. I have a lot of memories in Queen Creek, and I look forward to making more in Gilbert.

New year, new job, new opportunities. I guess I should stop looking back and face forward.

we wish you a merry christmas...

2010-12-23T17:18:00.001-08:00

...and a happy new year!

I L.O.V.E. Christmas time. I know some of my friends out there aren't huge fans of the yuletide season (hi Mike!), but I am a huge sucker for this time of year. And birthdays. Why? One reason: gift giving. I love to give gifts. Some would say it's a love language near the top of my list, second only to acts of service. But I am getting off track.

One of the downsides to being an uber-efficient, type-A machine is that I get my shopping done. Early. Not day-after-Christmas-for-the-next-year early, but still with plenty of time to spare. The nieces and nephews have been done since Black Friday. Babies and toddlers are easy. I could get the two little dudes a cardboard box and they'd be entertained for hours. The other babies are too little (or still in utero like baby Abby), so they wouldn't know the difference. But I still do more than a empty box with a little wrapping paper and a bow. What can I say? Being an aunt is pretty rad, and I love spoiling the little peanuts.

In my opinion, the best part of the holiday melee is the shopping. Making the lists. Checking them twice. Buying a gift for you whether you're naughty or nice. Let's be honest - that's Santa's M.O. too. Not to mention the life-risking activity of finding parking at the mall. It's crazy out there.

Because the 6 kids in my family decided we'd rather adopt a family than exchange DVD's and gift cards to the movies with each other for the 8th or 9th year in a row, I didn't have a lot of people left to shop for. As of today, the rest of my list consisted of my dad, the in-laws, the newest foster nephew I have dubbed "the little man," a gag gift for the white elephant exchange, and me (yes, you read that correctly. "me" is the last person on my list).

My younger sister, Jessi (read her fantastic blog here), and I went out this morning and knocked out dad's gift in 5.7 seconds flat. I think. I can't confirm because I left my stopwatch at the...um...ok I don't have a stopwatch. You caught me. We also got the little man some gift action and took care of one part of the in-laws. After that, I went out for lunch with my best friend, Kelsey.

And now for a word from the pages of history...

Kelsey and I have been friends since we were 11. We're talking 15 years and counting now. We've been through a lot together, and we've tried our hands at being architects, dancers, trampoline gymnasts, radio DJs, detectives, and the next great-American writers. All before the age of 15. You can see how well all of that panned out for us. Anyway, when we graduated from high school, she moved to San Jose, CA to go to college. And then she graduated and stayed put. She's been up there for 8 years now, and we always reconnect when she comes home. Usually it consisted of sitting in Starbucks until the baristas (sort of) politely asked us to leave so they could close, which meant that we left smelling of coffee beans and conversation with great friends. Since we've gotten "real" jobs, now we usually meet over a meal and then go out to do other things afterward. Below is a picture of the two of us sitting in the rain at the Ironman Triathlon last month while we waited for her dad to make his second loop through the marathon.

Back to our regularly scheduled bloggy programming...

Kelsey and I took out the rest of the list with relative ease. In-laws? Done. Gag gift for the white elephant exchange? Done and uh-mazing. I think it will be the stuff of legends. I'll post pics later. Kelsey's shopping? Sort of done. Me? Done.

Ok, I suppose I should explain me shopping for myself. All I wanted for Christmas was a plane ticket to go visit Kelsey. Steven granted my holiday wish! So today while we were together, I sat down with Kelsey and showed her when I want to come visit, and then I booked the ticket. Signed. Sealed. Confirmation delivered to my e-mail inbox. Life is good.

Now I sit at home with my yet-to-be-wrapped treasures waiting in the living room. Steven should be home soon, and it feels so good to be done shopping and ready for Christmas. The next couple of days will be filled with family, festivities, and most of all fun. I can't wait!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

day of days

2010-12-15T21:46:00.000-08:00

The past couple of weeks I have spent dreading December 15. It may seem like any other day to you, or it could be your birthday as it is for four of my friends today (thank you, Facebook). Today was the day I was supposed to become a mom. Well, until I wasn't.

I fell off of blogging earlier this year about a month before I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Steven and I were over the moon. We'd been trying/not trying and seeing what happens/maybe we'll never have kids but let's just have sex anyway/whatever for 2 years, finally gave up, and then the stick turned blue (yes, yes. I can hear you loud and clear, mom. You told me so). I took the test expecting the same old rigmarole (NEGATIVE), so when it didn't turn out that way I was shocked. When I let Steven know (3.5 miliseconds after reading the pee stick result), it sounded more like a question. "I'm pregnant?"

Four weeks after the stick turned blue, after 4 doctors appointments, 3 ultrasounds, and a couple of blood tests, our obstetrician confirmed that we had lost the baby.

Just like that, the pregnancy and child that my husband and I had hoped for was gone.

Miscarriage is a crazy thing. I didn't realize that there were different types of miscarriage. I kind of assumed all along that they were all the same. Developing fetus one minute, not the next. I guess it all boils down to that eventually, but it's so much more complicated at the same time. The miscarriage I had is called a blighted ovum or early pregnancy failure. Essentially, there was something funky afoot chromosomally speaking that resulted in a baby never developing. All I had was a fertilized egg that became a gestational sac that implanted in my uterus, got my hormone factory all hot and frenzied, and then stopped developing. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this from happening. Let me tell you, lack of control over things is not my cup of tea. Knowing that I couldn't have done ANYTHING to prevent the pregnancy loss was devastating.

The other crazy thing about it is that it is a loss, there is grief/grieving involved, but there's no physical object to grieve. The expelled tissue was flushed like a deceased goldfish. I still feel a little guilty about it seven months later.

Why was there flushing of tissue involved? I'm getting to that.

I didn't have a D & C - dilation and curretage for those of you not in the know on the acronym...essentially the same surgical procedure as an abortion (lovely thought, right?) - although it was presented as one of my 3 choices for course of action after the miscarriage was confirmed. One of my other two choices was to wait it out. I considered it, but I felt increasingly more frustrated experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy knowing that nothing was going to come of it. I wasn't morning sick or anything, but I felt differently enough from normal to know the difference. The option I picked was a BRAND. NEW. CAR. Actually, it was medication that induced contractions and forced all the tissue out of my bun-baking oven. Lovely thought, right? It was equally lovely to experience the crippling cramping of uterine contractions and bleeding like crazy. I'll leave it at that.

I blame hormones, but I got all dark and twisty (thank you, Grey's Anatomy) after that. I was really depressed. And furiously angry. I even yelled at pregnant people for being pregnant. Way to stay classy. It was a chapter of my history where I believe I experienced the greatest growth of character I had to this point, but not without hitting some ugly lows and threatening some very dear relationships in the process. Thankfully, I have incredibly gracious friends who chose to love me through the ugly.

Early this fall, there was a day where I realized I hadn't thought about the fact that I wasn't pregnant for a few days. And I couldn't tell you how pregnant I would have been, which was something I had tracked (my brain wouldn't allow me to NOT think about it). Humpty dumpty had started to put the pieces together again. Yeah, there were times when a baby announcement or a person complaining about how miserable they were feeling at X stage in their pregnancy would touch the soft spots of my soul where I hadn't quite found ALL the pieces. I guess that's what happens when you break till you shatter.

All that feeling whole and (mostly) healed changed about 2 weeks ago when I realized December 15 was coming. The baby's due date. The day of days.

The Lord does not bring us to something if He is not willing to also bring us through said thing. "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23. I woke up this morning and told myself (and my Facebook status) that today was going to be a good day. While I can't divulge the details now, let's just say that today completely exceeded my expectations. Somehow there was beauty from my pain, but as always not in the way I expected.

my eyes are crossed and i think i feel brain matter oozing out of my ears...

2010-12-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

Why is it that reading the same things over and over (online, no less) makes one feel cross-eyed?

I find that when I spend my work days in front of a computer screen, especially around budget drafting time when I have to stare at all those tiny, tiny numbers for hours on end, my eyes get tired. They may actually, really cross (I never check). Tonight was a foray into endless online psychology course grading. Of the same 3 assignments written by various students. 15 of them to be exact. I got through 10 before my brain felt like it was oozing out of my ears.

It's been quite the ride as Adjunct Faculty for Rio Salado so far. Just the fact that the title "Adjunct Faculty" is attached to my name is a bit strange. And having conversations with people where I reference "my students." It all seems horribly grown-upish. When did that happen?

Not that I'm complaining. This is a huge step in the "I think this is where I want my life to go" direction, that being a residential (full time) faculty member at a local community college. While it has managed to suck away what little, precious free time I may have thought I had, I know it will be worth it in the long run. For now it means grading stuff and managing my roster whenever I have a spare moment or five. For later it could mean a sweet gig working less than 9 months of the year and only 30 hours a week at that.

Although you all know me. I'd find ways to fill the rest of those hours.

town council via FB status updates...

2010-12-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

One of the less glamorous aspects of my job is that I am asked to attend Town Council meetings in Queen Creek to make sure I am on top of what's happening in my Club's community. It has benefited the Club in good ways, but it's not exactly what you might call exciting. In an effort to keep myself engaged in what's happening, I post Facebook status updates as the "action," as it were, unfolds. Here's the last meeting via status updates:

time to change into big girl clothes for Town Council. yep, that's right. It's council night, people! final action for rio communiversity. love it! got so excited about communiversity I didn't realize consent is done well before 7:30. wow. "out of plane" could make a good song title along the lines of "i'm on a boat."thanks for the idea, councilmember benning. hello, wayne balmer. it's been a while. communiversity land lease passed unanimously. time for the general plan amendments for town center. hang on to your hats. general plan amendments continued. now we're talking fireworks. boom. sizzle. i think phantom fireworks guy @ the podium called me at the club about selling fireworks as a fundraiser. hmmm.... oh man. wayne balmer just talked about medicinal marijuana infused in "the classic brownies." text amendment for medicinal marijuana dispensaries passed 5-2. on to special events sign ordinance. meeting adjourned. and that's all she wrote.

Kinda juicy, huh? Dont' hate me cause you ain't me.

gee thanks...

2010-11-24T21:12:00.000-08:00

Oh, mylanta. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The best part about that?

Three words.

Four. Day. Weekend.

I get a breather from my usual daily grind to catch up on life in general. And my other jobs.

I am thankful for the many sources of income for my family. Really. I am. I promise I'm not trying to convince myself. There's just a lot I have to do to keep up with the part-time jobs I have.

On tap for this weekend:

family time all day tomorrow followed by a tryptophan coma
decorating the homestead for Christmas
going to the gym to run through the new BODYCOMBAT and BODYATTACK releases I received in the mail last week (Les Mills Christmas 4 times a year! squee!)
catching up on Bible reading for the 6 weeks I slacked off
grading student pre-tests for PSY 101
teaching at the gym
Christmas shopping!
plenty of naps (it is a four-day weekend after all)

But through it all, I give thanks. Thanks for the wonderful people I have in my life. Thanks for the amazing opportunities I have to grow personally and professionally. Thanks for shelter, freedom, love, and the ability to be a crazy, type-A person who has a bit of a scheduling handicap. I wouldn't have it any other way.

my brain is ready to tap out...

2010-11-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

Ever have one (or three) of those days where all the work you have to do involves a helluva lot of thinking and at the end of it your brain is just tired? Yeah...it's been like that for a few days.

While I admit that my job keeps me (mostly) busy and (mostly) out of trouble, the work that I have to do on a daily basis doesn't tend to be all that mentally taxing. Seriously. I love what I do because of this. I got my fix of brainy work during my 4 years of college and 2 years of grad school. It's nice to get a brain-cation now. Not that I can work on autopilot, but I think you catch the drift. It's not like I'm the leader of the free world or anything...

This week, the story has changed a little bit. I have had to do some serious cranial calisthenics. If I haven't been in a meeting where I needed to be mentally alert, I've been trapped in front of my computer analyzing different finance things going on at the Club. Too many numbers, too many meetings, feeling mentally drained, ready for a nap.

Or maybe just dessert.

so i'm kind of a rule follower...

2010-11-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

My entire life I have been a bit of a rule follower. Understatement. I am a nervous nelly who strongly believes that rules are handed down for a reason. The reason? To be followed.

Yesterday the hubs and I took a hike out at the Wind Cave Trail in Usery Pass. It was a beautiful day yesterday, and it was perfect for the hike. We made it up to the top in about an hour, and the view was incredible. What does all of this have to do with following the rules? I'm getting there.

When we got to the actual wind cave, there is a sign with a few simple rules to follow. The first: pick up your trash (easy - we had water bottles). The second: clean up your animal waste (easier - no animals in tow). The last: do not feed the chipmunks. People food is not chipmunk food (seriously. the sign spelled it out this way).

As Steven and I made out way to a spot to sit where we could rest before going back down the mountain, there was another group at the top sitting and eating snacks. The first thing they do? Throw saltine cracker bits toward the chipmunks. My reaction? Heart palpitations and trying like crazy not to tell them they were breaking the rules.

I don't know where this overwhelming urge to make sure the rules are followed has its roots. I've just always been that way. Perhaps this tendency also complements the type A in me. There is a certain way things need to be done, ergo I will do them in that manner and do them well. I will make sure the rules are followed so the powers that be are pleased with my work (as long as the rules are reasonable and do not ask me to do anything illegal).

What do you think about rules?

working for a charity has its perks...

2010-11-12T18:13:00.001-08:00

From time to time there are some nice fringe benefits associated with being employed by a charity. Sometimes.

My more than full-time employment with the Boys & Girls Clubs is probably reasons 1 through 5 why I am so busy all the time. Ok, forget probably. It is reasons 1 through 5. But every once in a while we get little perks. Like free tickets to sporting events. Or I get to have a day like today.

Today I spent the day at the Phoenix Country Club. They are hosting the Goldwater Tennis Classic this week, and the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley is the beneficiary charity (thank you, Grant Woods!). Earlier this week I had been there a couple of times for part of the day, but today was a full day there. From 9 am till the fat lady sang and the tennis tournament ended around 6 pm.

It was a nice, laid back day that was a complete change of pace from the usual chaos I get to endure at the Club (did you see what I did there? I said "get to" not "have to." perspective is a beautiful thing...). I seriously needed a break from the Club melee. The first two days this week this week nearly took everything out of me. So today I enjoyed a day at the country club (sounds kinda pretentious, yes?).

The day included, in no particular order:

eating a ridiculous amount of Dunkin Donuts munchkins. seriously. i think i ate the equivalent of a dozen donuts. ok, i overspoke. half a dozen.
watching one set of a singles match that was seriously one-sided and chuckling at the grunting. did i mention the grunting was in a foreign language? it was. i wish i could make this stuff up.
scoring a DELISH wildberry margarita from the Cruz Tequila reps while selling raffle tickets at a ladies' luncheon.
eating an equally delish lunch prepared by the PCC at an outdoor table at the edge of the golf course. amazing.
preparing my variance report while watching a doubles match and soaking in some rays. did i mention the spot where they had us posted was freezing? i found many an excuse to sit and watch matches where the sunlight was ample.

And now I sit in my very warm and comfy yoga pants and long-sleeved gym shirt with slippers warming my now defrosted tootsies looking forward to an equally slow-paced and fun weekend.

It's the little things that make life beautiful, don't you think?

and now for a word from our sponsors...

2010-11-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

It's time for a commercial break. Or at least a plain old break.

It seems like the past week was especially hectic, but I blame the lack of a weekend. There were times when I could swear I saw my precious and fleeting free time being sucked into a maelstrom. Hasta la vista.

An observation I made this past week is just how quickly time seems to slip away when you're inside the four walls of a hospital. My sister was in the hospital Saturday night and stayed through Monday morning. She was experiencing numbness down her right side and excruciating pain in her abdomen. After a late night and full morning of test after test, turns out she had gotten a bad kidney infection. She also had a migraine, and the migraine was so bad she wound up numb down her right side. There was a collective sigh of relief when the neurologist confirmed that she hadn't had a stroke and told us all her CT's and the MRI were normal and clear. Despite the fear and the desperation of waiting for test results and consults, it seemed like the time slipped away incredibly quickly. Every time I looked at the clock, it seemed like at least an hour had passed, sometimes more. Before I knew it, I had been there for twelve hours and was on my way home again.

There was some comic relief that came out of the 12 plus hours I spent hanging with Jess and the family on Sunday. Watching the Vikings/Cards game, we saw a sideline analyst wearing what looked like a football fanny pack. If you want to know the new name I gave the fanny pack, ask me off the record. Trust me, it will be worth it. And now anytime anyone in the family does anything, the challenge posed is "now do it with your right hand." There were plenty of "that's what she said" moments, but the best was when the phlebotomist was drawing Jess's blood and told her "I'm glad you weren't too hard" (that's what she said).

The excitement of the weekend was compounded by a very eventful first few days this week. When I got home tonight, I gave Steven a HUGE hug and sighed into his ear "I am soooooo glad we have NOTHING to do tonight." Finally rest. And five minutes to update the blog.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

in today's episode....

2010-11-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

...the hero gets the win. Or something like that.

I had a little guy get sick to his stomach shortly after he got to the Club today. He threw up just feet away from the front desk right before snack and was bawling because it scared him so much to throw up, which is a pretty typical response. I mean, even I cry when I throw up. What? You mean everyone doesn't do that. Oh...

Anyway, after helping him get himself cleaned up and making sure people weren't standing around staring at him, he started to shiver. Seriously, the gym at the Club is ridiculously cold. We went outside to warm up, and he asked me some funny questions. My favorite? "Why don't my dogs throw up? They eat stuff off the floor and chew on sticks."

As if that weren't funny enough, he then proceeded to explain to me that he's a vegetarian and vegetarians are people who don't eat meat. Just in case I didn't know. Except the vegetarian cheese is pretty gross so he threw it away. And he's pretty sure the water he drank last night is what got him sick since there was a lot of water in his throw up. Or probably the chips he had at lunch today since they were in his throw up, too.

After much laughter and when he warmed up again, we went back inside and he took it easy until his dad came to pick him up. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing pretty mundane stuff (by comparison). Really, how can helping an 8th grader with his math homework top cleaning up and comforting a 6 year old after he threw up? It can't.

ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-11-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

Things are always changing at the speed of life.

It seems like every time I turn around, something is different. No two days of my life are exactly the same. I like it that way.

"You're one of the busiest people I know."

J. Davis, close friend of many years, reminds me regularly of this fact. And I have realized recently just how true that is. I am busy. All the time.

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to brag about being busy or fishing for people to feel sorry for me. I don't want a gold star for being a go-getter, nor am I looking for accolades. I realized that being a type-A personality and the melee in my schedule that results is who I am. It's simply me.

So here I sit. Blogging. Watch out, world. When I get a spare minute (or five), this blog is gonna hear about how things are changing. Let the type-A melee commence.

i'm a survivor

2010-03-02T11:51:00.001-08:00

For the sake of posterity, I want to post some general highlights about my experience in BODYATTACK initial instructor training.

The entire experience was incredibly intense. I thought BODYCOMBAT was difficult? I had no idea what I was in for. There were four (that's right, four) trainers running the weekend - Brent McLemore, Kendall Kimball, Janelle, and Amber. Brent and Kendall are kind of a big deal in the BA world - Kendall is the US Program Coach, and Brent works for Les Mills West Coast as a Club Coach and Master Trainer for BA and BODYSTEP. To get us in the zone, we all stood on the stage with our eyes closed while "Chariots of Fire" played in the background. I chuckled quite a bit through that experience, namely because "Chariots of Fire" holds a special place in my heart thanks to my graduation from ASU (there's a story, and yes, you can ask). Master class followed, and most of us felt pretty done in or around track 7 (of 12). If the master class was that demanding, what would the rest of the weekend hold? In our first leture, Brent said something along the lines of "BODYATTACK is like Jane Fonda on crack." Day one included lots of lecture on the key elements of group fitness, a crazy technique session, and a fitness test to end the day. I have a looooong way to go to get myself "fit enough" for BA.

Day two my quads were hurting pretty badly. I had Track 3 to present in the morning and again at the end of the day. I was a little nervous, but having been through the whole rigamarole before it wasn't all that bad. The first presentation and feedback went well, but MAN do I hate to watch myself on video, esp. when I'm teaching. :) After that was the BODYATTACK challenge, or as I like to call it, a sadistic hazing ritual for instructors new to the format not too far removed from being trapped in fitness hell. Another funny Brent-ism, "Be careful what you eat right now [just before the challenge started]. It's called BODYATTACK, not BODY YAK." Remember the quad pain? It was amplified. There were 5 stations in the challenge with 2 exercises each - 1 minute per exercise. Have you ever tried to do 1 minute of plyometric lunges without stopping? It hurts. Like a mofo. Especially when your legs are already pretty spent. The second time through the circuit, around the last 15 or so seconds of squat/jump combos, I started to tear up. My legs SERIOUSLY killed. And I fell over once or twice on the side plank exercise. I went up for the plank and just kept going all the way over to my butt. Afterward, I had sweat so much that my clothes were drenched. Literally could have wrung them out. I was glad I had a change of dry clothes with me, and they were much welcomed. More lecture followed the challenge (thank goodness! sitting felt nice...), and then the final presentations. My second go round I did better than the first, and every last one of us was fighting to get through the movements. We all hurt, were limping around, but we smiled and cheered and pushed. We held nothing back all the way through. It felt so great when we were finished! And to top it off, I got a pass for my module grade.

The aftermath of the entire weekend was that I could hardly walk for 3 days. Seriously! My legs were so sore that transitioning between sitting and standing was incredibly painful, and stepping off of curbs caused me to pause and consider just falling off the curb rather than try to control my steps. But I felt fantastic (psychologically anyway). I was pumped. I had tackled something I honestly NEVER thought I'd be able to do when I started my crazy group fitness journey nearly 2 years ago. It's amazing what you can do when there are people cheering you on who honest and truly believe in you.

living the dream

2010-01-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

Lately, whenever people ask me how I'm doing or what's up, I reply with "living the dream." I find that this positively affects my attitude. Seriously. Attitude is everything. I have found that if I am not really feeling like I am living the dream, but I say so with a smile on my face, my outlook becomes a little rosier. I feel a little bit better. I begin to appreciate how I really am living the dream. I have a fabulous husband, wonderful family and friends, a great job, and a nice, warm home (with a nice, warm bed to match) to rest my body in at the end of a hectic day. What more could a girl ask for, really?

we're adults. when did that happen, and how can we make it stop?

2010-01-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere recently that changes are rarely gradual. Often, you are not one thing in one moment, and then all of a sudden you are that thing in the next. Becoming a parent can be viewed this way. Yes, there are many months of pregnancy that you have to help prepare you for when a baby arrives, but realistically one moment there isn't a baby, the next there is. Bam. You're a parent (PS I am NOT pregnant; this is merely for illustrative purposes). And becoming an adult seems like it happens in a moment as well. One day you're living at home with your parents, the next you're not. Literally overnight you have your own place, your own bills, your own life to manage and for which to be responsible. Gradual change does not seem to be an option. For that reason, one of my favorite quotes is the title of this blog. It comes from Grey's Anatomy and was delivered by Ellen Pompeo playing Meredith Grey. It's fitting. There are days when I look around me and at my world and wonder, "How did I get here? How did this happen?" Yes, I can (and often do) reflect on the path I took to get me where I am, but really it appears to me that there was a day when I was a kid, and the next I was a married twenty-something with a mortgage and a college degree and a job. Blink and you miss it change is more accurate.

What do you think?

check your head

2010-01-13T21:00:00.000-08:00

I must be addicted to endorphins. Seriously. And I need to get my head checked. Why, you ask? Because I just registered for the initial instructor training for yet another wonderful Les Mills program - BODYATTACK (as if BODYCOMBAT weren't intimidating enough, right?). What is BA? Check it out here.

BODYATTACK was the first group fitness class I ventured into in June 2008. It was the class that started my group fitness obsession. You may be wondering if I loved it so much, why wasn't it my first program for certification? Here's why - I ran out halfway through the first class and nearly puked. It was a smidge embarassing. If you checked out the typical class portion of the site, I ran out during the running track. After upper body conditioning, I was toast! I made it back during agility and lasted through the end of the class, but it was rough. Despite all that, I kept going back. Even though my ass felt literally kicked, I felt so good about myself for making it through the class. I had to take the lower intensity options for the first six-ish months I went to the class, but lately I have been able to hang with the high intensity throughout the class. Now I want to teach it. I think I'm "there" (wherever that is).

Countdown to initial training module = 38 days. Just over a month to get myself psyched up and ready to go. And add some new workout clothes to the wardrobe...

if only I had something profound to share

2010-01-11T11:38:00.000-08:00

All has been quiet on the blogging front since November. The staycation was good, but by day 5 I was ready to go back to work (I was off for 10). It was a nice little retreat, but I wish I had done a better job taking advantage of the time to get things done at home. I think I waited too long to take a break from work and wound up being a vegetable all week. A happy veg, but a veg nonetheless much to my dear husband's chagrin.

Work got insanely busy while I was gone and did not let up until the end of the school semester. Helping to put together an event that draws upwards of 8,000 people is no easy feat, and I didn't even do the lion's share of the work. Thank God for volunteers! Did you go to the Holiday Festival and Parade in Queen Creek? You should have been there.

The holidays were good. Christmas was a lot of fun. Our family did a true white elephant exchange. I wound up with a pretty cool elephant statue (I have an African themed room in my house), but Steven got the creme de la creme - a VHS tape on the care and cleaning of bagpipes. Amazing.

The start of 2010 has been pretty uneventful. I continue to teach at the gym (taught 7 classes in the first week of the new year!). Central Christian Church is going through the Bible in a year and I've taken the challenge up for what I think is probably the third or fourth time in my life, but I will do it! Steven and I are reading through a great book by Willard Harley titled Love Busters. It's a follow up to His Needs, Her Needs, and I strongly suggest it for any married couple trying to keep the flames a-burning. Oh yeah, and work is still crazy busy.

I got sick last week with what I like to call "the funk." Just a head cold, but oh so annoying. I am battling valiantly and looking forward to when my sniffles cease. Meds have been helping. I am steering clear of Nyquil and Dayquil since they just make my brain foggy (no bueno), but the allergy medicine is helping to decongest. Victory!

One thing I have come to realize this year - sometimes, working on having a happy and fulfilling marriage can feel like trying to climb Mt. Everest without a freakin' sherpa. It doesn't feel that way always (just from time to time), but at least the sherpa returns at some point to keep leading the climb. Think about that one for a little bit.

I guess that's all for now. Before I digress completely into randomness, I'll sign off for now. Happy 2010 readers!

there's a lot to be said about staycations

2009-11-03T10:30:00.001-08:00

Friends, there is a lot to be said about taking staycations. I am currently on work day #3 of staycation (day 5 overall), and so far it has been a great time off. It's also been a bit of a wake-up call. Remember that post, about being busy? Well, I guess I was moving a lot faster than I thought. I have taken way more naps and slept more soundly in the past few days than I have in weeks! What have I done? A whole lot of nothing.

Yesterday I taught at the gym, came home and showered, took a nap, went out with Steven to look at new phones and wound up purchasing new phones (we should be getting them today...I'm gonna be all growed up with a Blackberry now!), went to the doctor, met up with my mom, stepdad, and aunt and went out to happy hour. During happy hour, I would have been at the Holiday Festival and Parade planning meeting. Instead, I was enjoying a big Blue Moon with an orange slice (the only way to drink it!) and texting the committee chair about the whole thing. I sure hope the meeting was as enjoyable as happy hour!

Today, I took the morning off from teaching BODYCOMBAT at 5:15 am for the first time since February. I have gone to the class every Tuesday since the end of January. It was weird to sleep in on a Tuesday, but I went for a run this morning when I did finally roll out of bed at 7:30. I guess I can't not work out every day. When I got home, I took a nap (noticing a pattern yet?), ate breakfast, made another doctor's appointment (nothing wrong with me, just yearly check-up stuff), and now I'm at the library (my crack den) blogging away.

Moving slowly for once has been so, so nice. I found myself itching to be at work yesterday (weird, I know), but today I'm realizing it's not too bad to slow down and just enjoy taking my time doing whatever I want. More of that independence days goodness, I suppose.

The rest of this week will be spent painting the house, going out with friends, and overall taking it easy. I need to do this staycation thing more often!

independence day(s)

2009-11-01T15:13:00.001-08:00

Independence is liberating, and while I realize saying that is more than a bit redundant, it is so very true. You hear parents say all the time how nice it is to get a night off or a weekend away from their children, whom they love dearly but just need a break from once in a while. I don't have children (except for the kiddos I take care of at the Club), so the closest thing I have was getting the weekend off from being a wife. How, you ask? Steven spent the weekend up in Williams with the church on the Men's Challenge weekend, which left me home alone.

Just like the liberated parents I know who love their children dearly, I dearly love my husband. Any of you who have read my blog for any period of time know that to be true. At the same time, I have to say that getting a weekend to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without needing to worry about how it would affect another person was a nice change of pace.

What did I do with my weekend of independence? I spent Friday with my mom and Aunt Kathy who is in town visiting. We just took our time walking around the mall, going to lunch, hitting the gym, and then relaxing at mama bear's house drinking cocktails and laughing late into the night. Saturday I took my time waking up, picked up some things for Trunk or Treat and got all the carnival game supplies ready to go, watched the ASU Homecoming game (ugh...losing in the last 30 seconds of a game is always hard to watch), worked Trunk or Treat, and then spent the rest of the evening and the wee sma's of the morning today at a Halloween party. Today I taught at the gym, took a really long bubble bath, and then slept all afternoon. Nothing terribly exciting, but it was nice to come and go as I pleased all weekend.

Steven should be arriving home shortly. This next week is independence from work - we both picked a week to take off and just spend at home together. We're hoping to get some painting done around the house, maybe take some day trips, and otherwise relax and enjoy a week with no work.

I guess all of this got me wondering what everyone else thinks about independence in general. What are some things that it's nice to get a break from once in a while?

oh the buseyness of it all

2009-10-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

Lately I have begun to wonder what it is that possesses me to stay so busy all the time. There is this crazy bone in my body that gets really bored if I don't have something to do all the time. Do I ever have a day off? Not really. I guess that's part of being a grown-up. There literally is always something I could be doing...whether I want to is another story altogehter. But it's not the typical grown-up kind of busy I'm talking about. I love to be involved in a lot of different things. I decided not to continue in graduate school because it was taking up too much of my time, and I didn't believe that I had an adequate work/life balance. What did I end up doing instead? I joined a gym (we all know how that story turned out - now I live there) and I began coaching junior high small groups at the church. I coached for two years, but this year I gave up being a junior high small group coach at church because it was taking up too much time. Somehow I miraculously (pun intended) found other things to fill Wednesday nights. Town council meetings, Keystone Club advising, etc. Beyond that, though, I worked my butt off to get promoted at work. Now that I am the Branch Executive at my Club, I have a lot of community events and (late) meetings that I have to be a part of, but I prefer to see it as I get to be a part of them. I love connecting with other people, even if in some settings I tend to feel a little fish-out-of-watery. I've become active in the Queen Creek Chamber of Commerce, I've volunteered to be involved with the Holiday Festival and Parade. Yes, the Club benefits from it financially, and it is expected that I will be a part of it, but even if I weren't I still love planning events and being a part of something bigger than myself. I'd probably still be a part of the committee if I weren't in my current job - it's a really great event! God Bless my husband, Steven, for being so patient with me. I THRIVE off of social outings where I get to interact with other professionals and people in the community, and because of that I am often out of the house and away from my dear husband more nights than not. Anyway, I guess I'm just a highly-motivated person who needs a lot of stimulation to keep myself moving forward. I really do get bored if I end up sitting around the house without much to do.

What makes you tick?

it is finished

2009-10-20T10:11:00.001-07:00

The 17 days are over. I have to admit that the second week seemed a little bit easier than the first (and a little less eventful as far as stories to tell). However, today's final workout before my day off tomorrow (glorious!) included plyometric lunges (aka crazy hard leg work required). I already feel the burn in my butt and quads. I will need the day off tomorrow to recover!

Have you challenged yourself yet?

17 days

2009-10-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

Friends out there in the blogosphere, you may have picked up on the fact that I like to exercise. A lot. There are a lot of really good reasons for my addiction. First and foremost, as of September 30 after 2 long hard years of work, I got down to my goal weight. I lost 26 pounds! I had to literally work my you-know-what off to get there, but I feel so great now. Second, I have made some really fantastic friends through my life at the gym. The group fitness trainers are a pretty close knit group and they are a great support system, too. I honestly look forward to seeing a good majority of them. Third, all of this hard work has enabled me to take on things I never thought I'd be able to do, like RUNNING. More on that later...

At this point, you might be thinking, "Okay, I get that you like exercise, but what does that have to do with 17 days?" Well, Fall Break is happening in the QC until October 16, so I had the ability to change my work schedule to accomodate a whole lot of trips to the gym. From October 4 through October 20, I will be at the gym EVERY DAY. As if that's not enough, over this 17 day period I'll be teaching 6 days a week and attending classes/practicing BODYCOMBAT on my non-teaching day. Day 1 was last Sunday.

Now for an aside and some background - I decided a few months ago after my first class started that I would like to run in Pat's Run. It's a 4.2 mile run around Tempe finishing at Sun Devil Stadium at ASU. This race happens every April on/near Pat Tillman's birthday. Considering the fact that the last time I tried to run for exercise I got to the end of my street and felt like collapsing in a panting heap of running hopelessness, I figured a 4.2 mile run is pretty amibitious.

Back to the main story....

Tuesday morning I taught in the wee sma's and felt pretty good except for soreness in my hamstrings (weird). I had to work a little late Tuesday night for the second day in a row (blech), so when I got home I thought "All right Sandi. Pat's Run is only 6 months away. You have no idea how much work it could take to train for a run, so let's start now." Besides, after 2 late nights in a row I had some steam to blow off. I put on some workout clothes and my running shoes, and off I went. I pulled what I like to call the "Forrest Gump" in that each time I got to a point I didn't think I would be able to reach, I decided to just keep running. Aside from a run in with a yipping Yorkie that scratched my left ankle (it's better now, thank you), I managed to keep a good pace going the whole time and ran 3 miles! I practically floated on air when I made it back to my house. Good times.

The worst day of this experience so far has been Thursday. Wednesday afternoon I taught, and then I had to turn around and teach again just over 12 hours later on Thursday morning. I was LIMPING around work on Thursday. Every muscle from my chin down hurt. I tried taking a hot bubble bath and a lot of pain relieving OTC meds, but nothing really helped. Thankfully, I felt a lot better on Friday. I taught again Friday afternoon (great way to end a long week), and then I was dead to the world asleep a little after 8 pm yesterday. I know, if the AARP finds out about my early night, I may be granted early membership to the group. Yikes!

I'm only 7 days into this, but I feel pretty hopeful that it will be an adventure and a great experience to see just how much my body can take. Proof that I'm a glutton for punishment - I woke up early (not hard to do considering my bed time last night) and went to RPM, the spin class, this morning. I have BODYCOMBAT practice in an hour and a half, too. Oh yeah, and day 1 of 6 (round 2 ding ding!) for teaching starts tomorrow.

I hope that all of you out there reading realize 1) yes I am a little bit crazy, but 2) you can change your life if you push yourself to see how far you can go. Twenty-six pounds seemed impossible to lose when I started 2 years ago, but it came off just like it went on. One little pound at a time...

you can't read my poker face

2009-09-27T19:42:00.000-07:00

Last night was the 3rd annual Jeff Allen Birthday Texas Hold 'Em Tournament. This was the first year I decided to play, and I am so glad that I did. I didn't win anything, but I did a lot better than I hoped to do. My goal was to not be the first person out. I was the 5th person out at my table, and I lasted longer than my online poker addicted husband. Not too shabby considering how lowly I had set my personal bar for success. I won a few good hands and overall had a really great time. What took me out? I had 2 pair and my nemesis, Ryan, had a straight. He had been betting big on crap hands all night, so I called him with what I thought would be a sure fire winning hand. Oh well...c'est la vie!

I don't know why, but up until very recently I was super intimidated by Texas Hold 'Em. It seemed too tricky to figure out, I could never remember what consituted a good hand versus a bad hand, etc. After watching people play, and after I took part in a small tournament a month or so ago, I decided to go for it. Who else out there had a fear of Texas Hold 'Em only to find it not so bad once they gave it a shot?

Anyway, I am looking forward to my next chance at playing in a poker tournament. It's a really good time, even if you don't win the big prize. Oh yeah, and if you're reading this - happy birthday, Jeff! I had a blast.

feeling old

2009-09-26T15:38:00.001-07:00

*Disclaimer* In no way, shape, or form do I honestly believe that 25 years old is truly old. Okay, now you can keep reading.

Last weekend found me on adventures with a group of 16 teens at "THE ULTIMATE STATE CONFERENCE" for Arizona Keystone Clubs representing Boys & Girls Clubs from across the state. It was a great opportunity for the teens to connect to other Keystoners from all over Arizona, and it was a good time for me to get to know other Boys & Girls Clubs professionals from within the East Valley organization. The weekend was full of great educational workshops and a decent amount of fun, too.

Now, I like to think that I stay up on trends in pop culture pretty well. I may be a twentysomething married woman with a career, but I am certainly not dead. One event of this Keystone weekend turned all of that thinking on its head. A dance. Seems harmless enough, right? I went to lots of dances in high school and junior high, and I've done a good bit of dancing at various events since leaving the hallowed halls of high school. Heck, I even went to what Playboy magazine considered the #1 party school in the nation at for the better part of my adult life (I heart Arizona State). Not that much could have changed in terms of popular dances, right? The macarena was pretty much a mainstay from late elementary school through my senior prom, the electric slide will never die, and who doesn't know the little birdie dance? Newcomers to the catchy group/line dances I've learned from the Club kids are the cha cha slide and the Cuban shuffle. Then I see the dancing of the high schoolers at this conference. Things like "The Stanky Leg" and "The Jerk" and two-step (no, not the country line dancing version). And when they would start to dance a leetle bit too closely to each other, I found myself wanting to find a firehose to break up all the teen-on-teen friction.

I guess when I wasn't paying attention, I was slowly but surely getting old(er). At least in the way I think about dancing. I wonder what the next thing to make me feel old will be...time will surely tell.

time flies when you're having fun!

2009-09-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

Friends in the blogosphere, I must admit that time truly flies when you are having fun. Steven and I have spent the past few days celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary. On September 10, 2004 our lives changed forever as two became one. Here we are, five years later, marvelling at how quickly time passes. It really does seem like yesterday that I put my wedding dress on, carefully placed my veil, and walked down the aisle to become a Dial.

In the past 5 years we have....
taken 7 vacations
moved twice
changed jobs 9 times (counting internal position changes)
owned 7 different vehicles
gained a total of 80 pounds and lost almost all of it
lost 3 grandparents
celebrated 1 sibling's marriage
become an aunt and uncle (twice!)
and completed 2 college degrees.

We've laughed enough times to make up for the times when we've cried. We fought against each other and fought side by side to save our marriage from falling apart. We've watched dozens of friends marry, divorce, and have children. We've stood by each other through sickness (ask Steven about my wisdom teeth extraction some time...great stories!) and health. We've been there for richer or poorer. We've had some tough conversations, but plenty of silly ones, too (especially when we should be going to sleep!).

To celebrate our big day, Steven planned an evening of suprises. Men in the blogging world, take note. My husband is the master of surprises! He comes up with the most thoughtful gifts and does some really fantastic things for me. We started off with dinner at Baci, a great Italian place about a mile from our house. After a delicious dinner and yummy spumoni for dessert, we took our leftovers to Steven's brother's house for safekeeping in the fridge while we went out for our night on the town. Steven purchased tickets to see Peter Pan performed at the Herberger Theater by the Valley Youth Theater (Jordin Sparks is an alum of this group). Peter Pan is one of my favorite stories of all time, maybe because Peter refuses to grow up, but nonetheless Steven took me to see it performed live. It was fantastic!

After that, we came home for part 2 of the evening. I was in for a huge and very romantic surprise. Steven had hired a company to come in and do a rose petal turn down service at our house! There was a trail of rose petals from the garage door to the bedroom. In the bedroom, there were candles and sparkling cider and towels folded like kissing swans and chocolates. Playing in the background was a playlist of love songs Steven hand picked for the occasion. When we walked through the door, our wedding song was the song playing. I highly recommend Special Night In!

The surprises didn't stop there! Steven got me a new iPod for our anniversary and had our friends (and fellow BODYCOMBAT instructors) put all the BC music on it! Have I mentioned how thoughtful Steven is? I am one lucky lady.

Our fourth year of marriage was the hardest we have had, but year number five is off to a fantastic start! It is nights like last night and the thoughtfulness I was lucky enough to experience that makes all the tough times worth it.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

BODYCOMBAT updates

2009-09-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

So in updating the world on the past 4 months of my life, I left out a couple of details. I finished my BODYCOMBAT certification in June, so I am now "unleashed" for worldwide BODYCOMBAT domination. Well, maybe not worldwide, but in my world I am (trying to) dominate.

Remember the 5:15 am class I was assigned to for training? Did I mention that since February 17 I have taught every single Tuesday at that time? Oh yeah, I have. Perfect attendance since February 3 in that class. I may have missed some sleep, but I come ready to rock it every Tuesday morning with Cindy (and sometimes Sarah).

We just launched another release last Monday celebrating BODYCOMBAT'S 10th birthday. Pictures to come later...we didn't take as many as we probably should have, but I got some. Between the 4 main members of the team I teach on, there were 9 BC classes we launched the new release in over the past week. NINE CLASSES!?! That's crazy. I only taught in 4 of them, but still...good times.

I just got release 41 in the mail last Thursday. The theme is Backyard Brawl. Nobody talks about it. It doesn't exist. Come toward the end of October to check it out (but don't tell anyone *wink*).

deja vu all over again

2009-09-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

It seems like every time I get on here to blog about something, it's been a long time since I last posted. This is my newest record for a dry spell. Nearly 4 months people! I promise I didn't fall off the face of the earth. What did happen, though, was summer day camp. Eight very long weeks of it. And I was the only full-time staff member for 5 of those 8 weeks. Needless to say, spare time was scarce, and the little that I had I did NOT want to spend blogging. I wanted to spend it sleeping...

Recap of the past 4 months: survived summer camp, lost another 6 pounds (hit a milestone of 20 total pounds lost...and 12 of them came off in the last 6 months!), read a LOT of books (shocking!) and discovered a new favorite author (Lisa Samson is a great writer...her character development is top notch and I love the way her stories unfold), rode on a motorcycle for the first time (passenger, not driver....I do have my limits!), was offered and began teaching two BODYCOMBAT classes of my own at Fitness Works, and started off another school year with the Boys & Girls Club (average daily attendance = 137 kids...how do you spend your afternoons? ha!).

I also have spent a lot of time reading up on my friends out there in the world on blogspot. While I may not have felt up to writing - the synapses weren't firing at that level of output - I did get to read up on the adventures of my friends. Like The Rogans, who just had TRIPLETS on June 15. And the babies are beautiful and healthy. Or Kemra, on orchestra friend from high school who sent her oldest daughter off to kindergaten four days after having her THIRD child. Or Amanda and Matt in CO who experienced a home robbery and the baddie got caught. And Amanda just celebrated the 6th anniversary of surviving an attack. This couple is one of the strongest, nothing's gonna stop me now sets of people I know. Needless to say, there's a lot going on out there in the world that is worth reading about.

Now that life is slowing down (a smidge), I'll have more time to blog. Ok, I guess my life is never slow. I'll find time between working, teaching 4 days a week at the gym, spending time with my husband, going to church and Bible studies, etc. to blog. Either way, I like sharing my thoughts with whoever decides to read them out here in the blogosphere. It's cathartic at the least to get the thoughts and life updates out there. So blogging world, the Saharan stretch of nothingness from me is over. I hope you're ready for the ride!

love and marriage

2009-05-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

Friends, I have come to realize a lot of things in the past few days about love and marriage. First love is an action (or actions), not a feeling. Will I always feel "in love?" No, not realistically. I am there for better...and for worse. The "worse" is when I usually lose that lovin' feeling. Am I still obligated to show my love? ALWAYS. It's words and actions that show a person how much you love them, not necessarily how you feel about that person.

Second, marriage takes a lot of work, and you have to be dedicated to making it work with every fiber of your being. Just like a person who goes to the doctor every year for a check-up, even if s/he does not feel ill, a good marriage requires re-examination and a tune up periodically to make sure all the parts are working together and in tip-top shape.

Steven and I went to see the movie Fireproof at church on Friday night, and it was a challenge to both of us. It was a wake up call to how easily we slip into routines, take our spouse for granted, place higher value on things than the relationship, etc. We purchased the book The Love Dare and we are working our way through it. It's a 40-day journey to winning back the heart of your spouse. Day 1 was to say something nice, or say nothing at all. Day 2 (which is where I am right now) is to do an unexpected gesture for your spouse in addition to saying only positive things. It's tough, and it is only through the grace of God that this journey is going to be successful. But a flabby body doesn't become svelte and thin by accident...you have to work at it. Marriage is the same way. It doesn't become whole, healthy, and functioning by accident. It takes work, dedication, blood, sweat and tears.

pictures

2009-05-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

You can check out the launch pictures here. I'm too lazy to upload them to two sites. =) Enjoy!

5...4....3....2....1....LAUNCH!!!

2009-04-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

This morning marked the beginning of the 2-week launch period at Fitness Works. What is launch, you say? Well, every quarter group fitness trainers (that's me!) get new music and choreography for the program(s) they teach. Then about a month-ish later, we get to start doing the new stuff in our classes (aka LAUNCH). While many of the participants in the classes I team teach say that every class is new to them, there are a few that remember what we've done, and it's nice to have something new to show as an instructor.

Anyway, today is DAY 1 of launch. Lucky me, one of the classes I team in is offered bright and early at 5:15 am on Tuesdays. SO, I got to be a part of the very first class to launch, and it was my very first launch ever! Good times. And we had a new record high of 32 people in class today...10 more people than our previous record of 22. Awesome! We took lots of pics (to be posted later).

Because it was my first launch ever, I was super excited/nervous and had a really hard time sleeping last night. I woke up at 3 am freaking out thinking I overslept (not possible considering I have a special alarm set on my phone labeled "Gym Wake Up" set for 4:20 AM), and then I had 2 different nightmares. In one of them the Honda was stolen. This was bad news bears because my CD/DVD for BC39 (the latest release of BODYCOMBAT) was in the center console. In the other I excitedly invited people to come to launch, but it was 2 days after I was supposed to do launch with Cindy and Sarah. So I completely missed launch in my dream/nightmare and cried and cried and cried. I know, I'm crazy.

If there are any people out there in the blogosphere in the east valley area of Phoenix (or even Glendale now that there's a Fitness Works at the Agua Fria 101 and Camelback) who want to try group fitness, now is the best time! Everyone is doing the classes for the first time essentially! The launch period is long enough to allow you 3-5 times in each format, which is the recommended amount of time it takes to get used to the movement and feel comfortable. I have access to free passes, and there are all kinds of incentives for people who come to the gym for the first time. Just let me know and I can hook you up. Keep it real and stay with the fight!

mercy mergatroy, where have I been?

2009-04-10T17:33:00.001-07:00

For the love of all that is good and right, I am appalled that I haven't posted anything new in over a month! A whole month! Every time I went to post something new, I didn't really think I had anything to say. Well....there hasn't been too much new that has happened in the past month, but I'll try to recap.

I went to my very first RPM class (or spin class, either label works), and I really liked it! I wasn't expecting to, since I think bike riding should be for leisure (esp. atop a sweet beach cruiser). It's a fantastic cardio workout, and the best part is it's no impact! My poor, sensitive shins were grateful for that. Aside from a sore bottom, it's totally worth it. And your butt gets used to it after a couple classes.

I got to see my best childhood friend halfway through March as we watched her dad get remarried to a really nice woman. It was fun to dance and laugh with an old friend, and it was even better to see how ecstatically happy her dad was on his wedding day. Here's hoping for the best his second time around!

I experienced my first Autoship through Les Mills. Every quarter instructors get new music and choreography in the mail about a month or two before the newest release is launched in our gym. I stalked my mailbox for 2 weeks and called and emailed Les Mills to make sure I really, truly was set to get BC39. When it finally came, I tore it open and practiced it a couple of times. All the BC instructors are getting together for the next 3 Saturdays to practice and get ready for launch. Launch is in only 18 more days people!

I turned 25 with a lot less fanfare and pomp than I was expecting. But all things considered, birthday parties are expensive, and I don't feel right asking people to buy gifts for me when I know I can't return the favor. Darn budgets! I had a great day with my husband, and he surprised me with a birthday balloon and the sweetest stuffed monkey that we have decided to call Mr. Monkman. He's pretty fantastic (my husband, not Mr. Monkman).

Steven celebrated his 26th birthday 5 days later, and though I did not purchase him a Mrs. Monkman to complete our collection, I did find a really nice bday card. I couldn't find anything to buy him, so I'm going to take him out shopping soon.

I taped myself teaching an entire BC class from start to finish toward the end of the month and did an all right job. I cringed a lot when I went back and watched the video, but I was cleared by the GFM to teach solo or sub for current instructors. This means that I can FINALLY get paid to teach! Crazy long process, but totally worth it.

The Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley held its annual Bon Vivant, a really big, fun wine and food tasting event at Rawhide. Over 3,000 people attend, and there is so much alcohol there it's almost ridiculous. My family was fantastic and volunteered to help make the event a success. Let's just say that a few of them had a little bit too much fun enjoying all that Bon Vivant had to offer and wound up sick and hung over the next day. But we all had a great time. I really like this event and have a lot of fun working at it.

Last Friday night I tried BODYJAM for the first time. It's a dance-inspired cardio workout that is SO MUCH FUN! I'm planning to go back to it again tonight. Now I've tried every Les Mills program except for BODYSTEP. Have I mentioned how much I love exercise? I'm pretty sure I've blogged about it, say, a thousand and a half times. :)

I had today off of work in observance of Good Friday. It was a much needed and appreciated day off. I had a really busy day, but got a lot of fun things done. I got a haircut, and it's a lot shorter than I have ever cut it but it looks cute curly! I wasn't expecting that. Went to the doc (boo), and as I was leaving I witnessed a car accident. I had a fantastic lunch date with Steven where we got to spend an hour just the two of us (so nice!). Then I went shopping for 3 hours, which is something I almost never do, and purchased a couple pairs of shorts, two shirts, headbands, and white boxing wraps. While I was out, I spoke on the phone to one of my good friends, Candice, about our small group last night and other random fun things.

This weekend looks like it's going to be a good time. Tomorrow I'm practically going to live at the gym (2 classes for fun in the AM, then BC39 practice in the afternoon). Sunday is Easter (Happy Resurrection Day!), and Steven and I are planning to attend church with the fam, go to BC, then attend a Dbacks game. Phew. So much good stuff, not enough time. I hope to take some pics this weekend and post. Cindy, Sarah, and I are going to dress Easter-ish for BC on Sunday...should be fun.

Anyway...I guess that's where I've been. But mercy me it took a long time to get all this posted.

the blog turns 30

2009-03-03T13:29:00.000-08:00

9 months and 30 posts later....here we are.

Here are just a few tidbits from the past 9 months of life.

-I got a promotion at work. It's good to be the boss.
-Steven and I road-tripped to Kansas City to visit good friends. Lots of random pictures resulted from that trip.
-For the 3rd year in a row, I wasn't home to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Kind of a bummer.
- The church roomies moved out as of November. It was a long, but good, 6 months.
- Steven and I created a plan and began taking steps to pay off all of our debts, including our mortgage. Best case scenario, we'll be debt free by the time we're 40 (a good 12 years earlier than our mortgage should be paid off).
- I rediscovered books and became a frequent borrower at the QC Library (seriously, they should reserve a parking space just for me).
- I rode on a parade float for the first time in my life.
- Two words: Christmas. Disneyland.
-My best friend and next door neighbor moved to San Jose.
-My grandma (mom's mom) and my stepdad's stepdad died in the same week. Sad times, but they were both so, so sick.
- I started teaching BODYCOMBAT(tm) at Fitness Works in Chandler.
- My nephews reached big milestones - one turned 13 and started junior high, the other turned 1 and began walking.
- My stepdad's grandma turned 100.
-I got my first sunburn of 2009, which resulted in the World's Sexiest Farmer's Tan (thank you Habitat for Humanity!) Ok, so maybe I am speaking in hyperbole. There are many farmers out there with tans that seriously rival mine. Perhaps a more accurate label is the Sexiest (and only) Farmer's Tan in my house.
- I played Rock Band for the first time. L.O.V.E. it.
- I discovered that I am NOT a night owl. I spend days recovering from being awake late. I have a knack for passing out asleep after 9 pm when not otherwise engaged in activity.

- Continuing the sleep theme, I tried sleeping without ear plugs for the first time in years, but went back to the old foam sleep-savers about 2 nights later. Despite my knack for falling asleep, I am a really light sleeper.

- Three friends/couples I know got married. One in November, and two in the past month. Congrats to Steven & Kelly Gonzales, Mitch & Aimee Eiler, and Jeremy & Cherie Wagner (who are still honeymooning on the slopes in Colorado, I believe).
- My Boys & Girls Club Branch had its first ever Youth of the Year candidate - way to go Kolby!! These nine amazing teens are the reason we do what we do.

Fun times coming up in the next 9 months:
- Completing my Les Mills certification, and I hope to get a class of my own someday!
- I turn 25 this month! Quarter-century birthday party, anyone?
- One more wedding to go next Saturday (3/14).
- 6 more months until Steven and I hit a milestone anniversary in our marriage - 5 WHOLE YEARS! How has it been 5 years already? Time flies when you're having fun.

I am looking forward to all that lies ahead and the things that are just around the next bend in the road.

stage fright

2009-02-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

Greetings blogosphere! First let me say that although I am not always on top of updating ye olde blogge, I still check everyone else on my blog list out as they update. Thank you for being entertaining.

Now onto stage fright. So the process of becoming a fully certified BODYCOMBAT instructor is loooong and kinda drawn out (for good reason...it's no easy thing!). I went through initial training, then endured another two weeks of practice, then I "passed off" to team teach. This entailed me having the entire release memorized so the group fitness manager could randomly pick 2 tracks for me to teach. After passing off I was assigned to an experienced instructor (I heart Cindy!) and a specific class time slot (5:15 am on Tuesdays...I know, I'm a bad A). Anyway, since then I've been on stage 4 times and it's sooo much fun. BUT...day 1 (Feb. 15 - I wasn't originally going to teach on Sundays too, but it's worked out that I get to and it's giving me more practice) on stage, I was so nervous before class started that I almost vomited. I was probably pale as a ghost. I was introduced to a few people, gave a quick tutorial on how to put on boxing wraps, and completely forgot EVERYONE'S names. I'm getting better at remembering. And the nerves didn't transfer on stage. Once the music started, I was comfortable and did fine. The nerves have gotten better...now I'm more excited about teaching than anything else. Yay!

Side note: word is that the next release's theme is cage fighting. Interesting...can't wait to get the new release in the mail!

death by committee

2009-02-10T18:28:00.000-08:00

Today I was sitting in the monthly full-time staff meeting the organization I work for holds, and I felt particularly antsy. I was sitting next to my birthday twin, Mike (of the Guad squad), which added to the squirelly-ness I was feeling. Anyway, when I get antsy....I doodle, scribble, otherwise write random things down (even if I don't need to) just to have something to keep my mind occupied. Usually because whoever is speaking really isn't holding my interest, but I am fighting valiantly to look like I give a darn. It's a habit I picked up in college, primarily graduate school. =)

The result of this incessant writing? A seriously scribbled all over meeting agenda. Mike even commented on the volumes of notes I took. My favorite scribble was "DEATH BY COMMITTEE!" surrounded by little dashes. I wrote that one down when it was suggested we form a committee to plan the youth basketball finals. Seriously? It seems like the person who plans the finals has done just fine (FOR YEARS mind you) without the aid of a committee. Maybe I'm just not much of a fan of committees being in place for everything.

Although, DEATH BY COMMITTEE! would be a pretty awesome band name. That's something I could be a fan of.

I DID IT!!

2009-02-09T17:48:00.001-08:00

So the blog topic makes me feel/look/sound a little like I'm a toddler who's figuring something out for the first time, getting excited, and yelling "I DID IT!" But I did do it...and here's what I did.

I survived the initial instructor training modules for BODYCOMBAT (tm)! Training was nearly 2 weeks ago, but life got busy so here I blog. It was 25 hours of masterclass, technique, reviewing choreography, talking about music/timing, learning the 5 key elements of group fitness, presenting 2 tracks 2 times each (that's 4 presentations for those of you who are counting), more technique, advanced drills, some sadistic training ritual called "THE CHALLENGE," learning how to coach, discussing what creates or breaks connection with participants, more movement. And all in 3 days. I squeaked out demonstrating competency in 4 of the 5 areas in which we were assessed. I knew my choreography, I got 2/3 areas in technique (execution and timing, but inconsistent in position), and my coaching was pretty good (I nailed pre-cueing and follow up...need to work on initial cues).

I practiced presenting 2 more tracks this past Saturday with Melissa, the Group Fitness Manager at Fitness Works. It was my first time with the mic on and teaching on stage. W.E.I.R.D. But I did ok. This weekend Melissa is going to pick 2 tracks at random for me to present to pass me to team teach. I should be on stage shadowing as soon as this Sunday - crazy.

For all of you out there reading in the blogosphere, exercise has never been something that has come easily to me. I haven't ever been the most physically fit person, and the only team I ever made was the tennis team in junior high (no one got cut). I had to swim in the 2nd to the slowest lane in my advanced swim classes in college. I have mitral valve prolapse, which makes hard cardio workouts even more difficult for me because my heart has to work that much harder with a faulty valve. I just love this class, and I love being a part of it. Teaching was sort of terrifying at first, but I felt at home on stage. I wasn't nervous once the music started and I was shouting out cues. I have to work hard to be able to make it through 10 rounds of COMBAT and still look sharp, but I am getting there. So far, all that matters to me is that I did it. And I keep on doing it.

lunch break

2009-01-28T10:56:00.000-08:00

Two of my favorite words in the English language are "lunch break," especially when there is work involved on either side of said break. Today I blog from my desk at work where I am taking a lunch while I check some emails (personal, not work related, so this truly is a lunch break).

Work has been especially trying lately, but I have a feeling things might go into an upswing soon. I need to get on my game and start hiring a couple more people to help out in the afternoons. There are a whole lotta kids and not a lot of eyes to watch over them, and my first priority is to keep these kiddos safe. Because of these trying times, I look forward to the lunch break.

The food isn't anything spectacular. I bring a lunch packed at home...usually a small salad, light yogurt, and some fruit. It's the peace of mind of 30 minutes of solace in the middle of an otherwise hectic day. It's the ability to do some personal business and find my center again. It's time to reflect on ways to improve my work, so I am more effective. It's five minutes to talk to my husband and get some encouragement to keep pushing through the rest of the afternoon. It's time to listen to music and study choreography as I prepare myself for certification to teach BODYCOMBAT (I made it through the instructor training this past weekend!! A couple more practice sessions and I will start team teaching). It's time to study God's word in preparation for leading junior high small groups.

All this to say, I really love taking lunch breaks.

inside my crack den

2009-01-13T18:27:00.000-08:00

OK, so the subject is a little bit...um....questionable. I am writing from the QC Library people. What were you thinking? Steven equates books with my version of crack. I am addicted, I get irritable when I can't read for long stretches of time, and I feel a little...well...endorphin release when I read and/or finish a book. Does that make me some sort of criminal? I think not.

I just found it interesting that from now on this is where I'll be blogging from, friends of mine out there in the blogosphere. Steven and I cancelled our home Internet service in the interest of saving money since we can get on the Interweb for free at our local library. Other cost saving changes we've made recently - getting rid of a home phone line and our satellite TV subscription. While this may seem kind of crazy to many of you out there reading this blog, I assure you we are perfectly sane (well...aside from addictions like reading). We're also trying to sell our gas guzzling Nissan Armada, aptly nicknamed "The Beast." Although we are far from destitute (the Lord has blessed us beyond anything we could imagine), we are just trying to be good stewards of the resources we have to manage.

How can you simplify your life?

resolution

2009-01-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

res⋅o⋅lu⋅tion [rez-uh-loo-shuhn]
–noun
1. a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
3. the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4. the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
5. the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.
6. the resulting state.
7. Optics. the act, process, or capability of distinguishing between two separate but adjacent objects or sources of light or between two nearly equal wavelengths. Compare resolving power.
8. a solution, accommodation, or settling of a problem, controversy, etc.
9. Music.
a. the progression of a voice part or of the harmony as a whole from a dissonance to a consonance.
b. the tone or chord to which a dissonance is resolved.
10. reduction to a simpler form; conversion.
11. Medicine/Medical. the reduction or disappearance of a swelling or inflammation without suppuration.
12. the degree of sharpness of a computer-generated image as measured by the number of dots per linear inch in a hard-copy printout or the number of pixels across and down on a display screen.

These definitions were taken from dictionary.com. I thought it was fitting given the beginning of a new year is when most people come up with "resolutions." I think we can all figure out which definition of the word they mean, but I found it interesting that it could be applied so many different ways. I think I like all of them.

What's your resolution?

greetings from outer space

2008-12-31T14:53:00.000-08:00

It seems like maybe outer space is where I've been for the past month, considering the overwhelming number of posts I've made (2 for those of you who weren't counting). I feel like maybe that's where I've been. Or at least lost in the pages of a book.

This past month I re-discovered my love of reading. I went to the QC Library for the first time on December 12 and got a library card. Since then, I've read 7 books, many of them within a day of starting them. I forgot how caught up in stories I get. The characters almost become real to me, inasmuch as they are well-developed. Anyway....here's what I've read so far:

1) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

2) Kingdom Come by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins

3) Emily Ever After by Anne Dayton and May Vanderbilt

4) The Book of Jane by Anne Dayton and May Vanderbilt

5) Consider Lily by Anne Dayton and May Vanderbilt

6) Sunrise by Karen Kingsbury

7) Just Beyond the Clouds by Karen Kingsbury

I'm at the beginning of Deadline by Randy Alcorn. I've found I really like the Christian fiction section of the library, and that many of these authors write either series or multiple stand-alone titles, hence the repeat authors on the list. Once I find an author I like, I keep reading titles by them. Also, I have a thing for book series. For instance, Kingdom Come was the 16th and final title of the Left Behind/Before they were Left Behind books (amazing series, I must say). I've been working on getting through those books for over 5 years. The Harry Potter books were another 5 year work in progress, though up until the summer of 2007 I'd read only the first two titles. The Anne Dayton/May Vanderbilt books are chick-lit modern retillings of Bible stories, like Esther and Job. It seems like all Karen Kingsbury writes are series, but I can understand getting attached to characters and wanting to continue telling their stories (like the Baxter family saga...). One series I won't go near is the Twilight series (unless compelled through brute force and threats on my life). I'm not a big vampire fan, and from what I've heard they wouldn't be my cup of tea. They have their target audience, and I fall outside of it.

Beyond all the reading - which at this point I am realizing is why I've been in outer space - December was pretty eventful. I suppose that's as it should be. December is always a busy month (thank you Christmas). Christmas this year was nice, quiet, and 400 miles west of Phoenix in sunny southern California. Steven and I spent it at Disneyland, enjoying each other and the magic of all that is Disney. Going to Disneyland is like visiting an old friend. I've been going there since I was 4 years old, which means that I've been going to Disneyland for the past *gasp* 20 years of my life. Each time I go, it's almost like I never left. I know my way around the park well enough that I don't need a map, and I've gone on the rides enough times to have them committed to memory. I have so many great memories there (multiple family vacations, trips with orchestra in high school), and I am glad to finally add some new ones with Steven...like this one here:

Steven and I on Toy Story Midway Mania (great new ride at Disney's California Adventure)

The Final Score on Midway Mania (I'm blue, Steven's red - this was redemption for his KILLING me on Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters)

Chilling at California Adventure before the Electrical Parade (a Disney Classic must see!)

See what I mean? Great times. And these three pics are almost the entire collection of pictures we took while we were there. Seriously. I don't know why I pack a camera sometimes. =)

But anyway, time for me to get back to outer space. That Randy Alcorn book is just starting to get juicy.

love and marriage

2008-12-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

Is there anything in the world that is more amazing than sharing life with your best friend?

I have been reflecting lately on how beyond all expectations marriage has been. Marriage is the earthly model of Christ's love for the church, and being a part of it has really helped me to understand the love Christ has for His bride. Beyond that, there are so many "here and now" reasons why its a great thing to be a part of. I had some time last night with Steven where we shared some of the best things about being married to each other, and here's a sampling of my list of reasons (in no particular order) why I'm glad Steven is my one and only.

1. I love that I get to wake up next to him every day. The way he looks right after he wakes up is my favorite "Steven face."
2. I love that he always gives me a kiss and a hug before he leaves for work, whether I'm awake with him or still sleeping.
3. We get to be completely silly and ridiculous with each other without fear of embarassment or judgment.
4. I get to share things with him that no one else gets to be a part of. He gets to see my best, my worst, and everything in between. He gets to know my deepest, darkest secrets; he gets to know and share in all of my hopes and dreams.
5. I love that I get to be there for him when he's not at his best. It's not fun to experience the worst or see him at a personal low, but it's fulfilling knowing that I'm the one he trusts and loves enough to show that side to and allow to support him.
6. He's caring, generous, and a man I am proud of.

Thanks for reading. Here's wishing you the best with your one and only!

Thanksgiving....

2008-12-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving was fantastic. A very relaxed dinner at my mom's house - filled with much mirthful goodness and quality time with the fam - kicked off a great 4-day weekend. Since the kids now far outnumber the parents in the family, we had a blast at the "kid" table making a paparazzi-inspired combo of all of the last names represented (Persanfidialaberto-Shuggallen for those of you who are wondering) and conspired to harass Steve (Shugg, not Dial) while he was on-air Thursday afternoon. We almost called in to request Rick Astley on The Edge, which would make about as much sense as using grape jelly to season your macaroni and cheese. It would have been good for getting crazy laughs from all the people in the family who watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, though.

Jess, mom, and I went out on Black Friday to do some Christmas shopping. We started at 8:30 am and were done by 11:00 am after going to only 4 stores. I finished my shopping completely without my highly structured system (don't need it when there are only 5 people to buy for), Jessi got 90% of her shopping done (her estimate), and mom got a new Christmas tree. The best part was we all spent waaaay less than we expected. After the shopping, I met up with Steven for a lunch date at In-n-Out Burger. Aside from the insanely crowded parking lot, we had a great time. When I got home, feeling empowered and inspired by my amazing shopping experience that morning, I got the entire house decorated and wrapped all the gifts in less than 3 hours. I got ready for a wedding and watched my friends Kelly and Steven get married. There are a lot of funny moments from the reception, mainly from comments made by me about needing to sit by the space heaters because "I'm not wearing any pants" (I was wearing a dress).

Saturday Steven and I got an early start and got all the Christmas lights up before lunch. It was scary watching Steven precariously balance at the top of the ladder, but there were no injuries and we only broke one bulb (which we replaced). Saturday afternoon we did another Thanksgiving dinner with Steven's parents and his brothers. We watched Hollywoodland Saturday night and just relaxed. It was great.

Sunday morning we finally made it to the gym to start working off the extra calories. We did a little bit of errand running, then came home and got together with the Erlandsons, who are in town for a week. It was nice to see them after spending a few days with them back in August when we went to Kansas City. We felt rested and restored after 4 wonderful days off. It's strange to be back at work after such a nice, long, much-needed weekend. Only 24 more days until Christmas!!

it's the holiday season

2008-11-19T08:06:00.000-08:00

Next week is Thanksgiving, and I begin to wonder at this point of the year, "Where did the year go?" It seems like time flies, and then "whoop-dee-doo, and dickory dock...it's the holiday season." I love this time of year, but it seems like time flies too quickly gearing up for it. And in a week and a half from now, it's time to get ready for Christmas!

I have known what I am buying Steven for Christmas for about two months already, and have I gone shopping? No. Color me crazy, but I like to go out shopping between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I still find everything I want to get people, and I know I'll have to deal with crowds/lines, so I don't mind the extra time it takes. I plan for it.

How do I plan? I scour the ads on Thanksgiving Day, already having brainstormed potential gift ideas for the people I'm shopping for. I have a list of names and gifts, and then I look for good deals or new ideas. I write down where to purchase said gift ideas next to the names. Then I take my list, break the list down by store with the specific items under each store. With this list, I plot out a path, and I only have to spend about 3 hours total shopping for Christmas. I buy everything I need to get for everyone on my list in one trip. I'm done shopping for Christmas before the tryptophan wears off from Thanksgiving. I usually have all the gifts before I put up the tree. It takes me longer to wrap the gifts than to buy them. Voila! No stress Christmas shopping.

Are you ready for the holidays?

for the love of exercise

2008-11-09T15:13:00.000-08:00

Two posts in one day....what will my poor little blog do?!

About a year ago, Steven and I joined a gym with his parents. We started to go and work out on the elliptical machines (my fave) about 2-3 time a week. Then my first full time job started and I was trying to finish my master's degree. Needless to say, exercise became a low priority. After a few more months of inconsistent attendance, Steven and I decided to start going to classes. We read the descriptions and chose Body Attack. It's a 55 minute, high impact cardio workout. You seriously never stop moving, unless you are getting a drink. Despite running out of the class about 2/3 of the way through because I thought I was going to throw up, we kept going back. And I haven't run out of the classes since. In July, Steven's dad invited us to go to Body Combat, another 55 minute class, but this one is a mixed martial arts cardio workout. It was SO MUCH FUN! I even started going to this class at 5:15 am every Tuesday. You would laugh if you saw me in these classes because I yell and get excited and have a great time working out.

So here I am three months after I started going to 3-4 classes a week, and I have dropped 2 pant sizes. I feel great and I think I am starting to look great. I am seriously hooked on being fit. I want to teach Body Combat. So I am going to instructor training in January. Wish me luck!

a week in the life...

2008-11-09T15:01:00.000-08:00

The past week since Halloween has seemed like basically a lifetime! Halloween night I worked a carnival booth at the local Trunk or Treat event (good times). Then came election day. I voted early so I didn't have to stand in line. We all know how the election turned out....now on to the next four years. Early release for schools on Wednesday, which meant a hello long afternoon. This was followed by the final night of lessons for the 8th grade girls bible study I lead, but we still have two more weeks of fun ahead of us before the small group semester ends. First night of Crown Bible Study came Thursday night with the "grown up" small group I attend (amazing study of biblical financial management). Yesterday was a really eventful day, too. Started off early with a trip to the gym (Body Attack is a great workout...I should really blog about my love of exercise....), then home for housecleaning. I was so proud of myself yesterday because I was thorough and got a lot accomplished. The home office is now clean! After a boat load of housework and many, many loads of laundry (seriously, how do 2 people create 7 loads of laundry in one week!), I got dressed to go to "work" at the Bids for Kids auction and dinner that benefits the organization I work for. It was a $300 a plate benefit dinner (black tie and everything) with a live and silent auction. The dinner, at last count, raised a heck of a lot of money. I don't even remember at this point. I got to talk to a friend from high school that I haven't seen in about...oh....6 years last night, too. I didn't get to talk for long, but it is always nice to reconnect with people from the past. Despite getting home after midnight last night, I got up to go to the gym again this morning. I was told after the class today that instructor training for my favorite class starts again in January. I am so going to do this! My gym obsession is seriously a post all unto itself.

All that to say, it feels like life FLEW this past week.

stained glass masquerade

2008-10-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight I decided to be a considerate wife and do my nightly pre-sleepy time reading in the living room so the light didn't keep Steven awake. I have been working my way through Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment by Shannon Ethridge for the second time. This book is a great read for you ladies out there (married and single alike)! In a strange twist, I decided I would wear my iPod and listen to some tunes while I read. I say strange because normally I like to read in the library-like atmosphere of silence that is my house after Steven and I decide to go to bed. Anyway, as luck would have it, the second song that comes on is one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns, "Stained Glass Masquerade." My enthusiastic lip synching pretty much obliterated my attempts at reading (the human brain was not designed for multi-tasking, despite our attempts to profess the opposite when the setting requires it, say in job interviews). This song is pretty profound. It is about how we put on a show when we go to church, making people believe we have it more together than we really do. I confess that there have been many Sundays in my life where I pulled up to church and knew I had to put on my "church face." This act isn't necessarily because of a fight in the car on the way to church (which happens on occasion), but sometimes because of silent sin struggles or other forms of spiritual or personal discontentment. Intellectually I understand that I am a broken person living in a broken world where "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23), and that I am only saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ (John 3:16-17). Despite this understanding, and the resulting implication that everyone has on a church face, I can't help but fall prey to the act of...well...pretending to be okay when I may not be.

I felt compelled to share the lyrics to the song. Here they are:

is there anyone that fails?
is there anyone that falls?
am I the only one in church today
feeling so small?

cause when I take a look around
everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
that I don't belong

so I tuck it all away
like everything's okay
if I make them all believe it
maybe I'll believe it too

so with a painted grin
I play the part again
so everyone will see me
the way that I see them

are we happy plastic people
under shiny plastic steeples
with walls around our weakness
and smiles to hide our pain?
but if the invitation's open
to every heart that has been broken
maybe then we'll close the curtain
on this stained glass masquerade

is there anyone who's been there?
are there any hands to raise?
am I the only one who's traded
in the altar for a stage?

the performance is convincing
we know every line by heart
only when no one is watching
can we really fall apart

or would it set me free
if I dared to let you see
the truth behind the person
that you imagined me to be?

or would your arms be open
or would you walk away
or would the love of Jesus
be enough to make you stay?

are we happy plastic people
under shiny plastic steeples
with walls around our weakness
and smiles to hide our pain?
but if the invitation's open
to every heart that has been broken
maybe then we'll close the curtain
on our stained glass masquerade

is there anyone that fails?
is there anyone that falls?
am I the only one in church today
feeling so small?

fall has fell

2008-10-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

The past few days I have been reflecting on how much I enjoy fall. Fall in Arizona isn't as aesthetically pleasing as in other regions of the country because everything is still green or brown, but the weather sure starts to feel nice. Today the high is 94, which I realize is hot anywhere else in the country, and it feels great. It's getting to be the short window of time in AZ where you no longer need A/C on in your house or your car, but it's not quite cold enough yet for the heater.

My reflections have helped me to realize why I like fall. I love that the northern hemisphere of the world seems to be slowing down and getting ready to fall asleep for the winter. All the leaves get tired of hanging out on the trees, so they slowly change colors and fall to the ground. The grass decides the weather is getting too cool at night, so it slowly goes dormant and turns brown. It only makes sense that since one of my favorite things to do when I have extra time is to nap that I would gravitate toward the season where the world starts to fall asleep.

Lots of great things happen or have happened in the fall - I got married in September (still techinically summer, but late summer), we moved into our first house in the fall, my baby sister got married in the fall, the World Series and college football season are both in the fall, I was offered my first full time job in the fall, school starts again in the fall....I could go on, but I think you get the gist.

Fall has fell, and I love that I get to experience it.

the blog giveth....the blog taketh away

2008-10-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

There are days when I feel like my brain is chock full of blogworthy topics, like fertility or things that make you go hmmmm? Lately....the well has been dry. Nothing. No inspiration, divine or otherwise. So I am blogging about having nothing to blog about. Weird.

It's not that there's been a lack of things happening. Since last post, I went to see Journey in concert, went to a Texas Hold 'Em tournament birthday party where I didn't play but made horrible choices with alcohol and wound up hopelessly drunk (and many hours later, quite ill), went to a baby shower for a high school/church friend, accomplished a lot on the home front, consistently attended gym classes where I'm feeling the burn....just none of it is striking a "blog about me" chord.

Suggestions, anyone?

living resiliency

2008-10-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to watch my 12-year-old foster nephew, Josh, play in his last Town of QC youth basketball league game. They won, by 25 points, but the blog isn't about winning basketball games. It's about living resiliency.

You see, Josh had to testify in criminal court against his mother yesterday afternoon to prove that she had abused him, not just "disciplined" him. His story began a year ago when he was removed from his home after he had run away to a friend's house and his friend's mother (who works for CPS....do you think God played a role here?) called the police. He was originally placed with his aunt, but after a month of living there he came to live with Melissa and Jeff, my stepsister and her husband. Josh is one of the most respectful, kind, and funny kids I've ever met. He has every reason to have behavior problems, aggression problems, etc., but he doesn't have any. His sister came to live with him and Melissa and Jeff in February, but caused so many problems over the course of her time there that she went off to another foster home toward the end of the summer. She was a sweet girl, but the abuse and subsequent removal from her home had certainly done more damage to her emotionally than to Josh.

I have had a lot of fun with Josh in the time he's been with the family - he comes to the Boys & Girls Club during school breaks, he came with me to my first Roadrunners hockey game in March, we've hung out when Melissa and Jeff have been busy, we've done things like making cupcakes, watching movies, going to dinners with friends/family, making fun of techno music...the list goes on and on. There's a possibility that he will be adopted by Melissa and Jeff if, after the Permanency Hearing at the end of October, it is determined that his mother's parental rights will be severed. That could takes months, even years, to officially happen, though.

Last night he played basketball. His team won, and he had a huge group of people there to watch him - all of his grandparents, a couple of aunts, friends from church. He talked about his experience at the courthouse very matter-of-factly, but with a hint of relief. He sat respectfully during dinner, speaking when spoken to and was his usual polite self. He thanked everyone for being there for him. There are a lot of people in his corner who love him and cheer for him, whether it's cheering for him through prayer about his testimony in court, or doing the wave and catcalling him from the sidelines of a basketball game. I think that is what makes him "living resiliency."

babies

2008-09-29T15:42:00.000-07:00

I swear I am surrounded by the most fertile women on the planet. I either know or know of someone who is pregnant almost everywhere I turn! I want to hold off on being pregnant until after Christmas (God willing) because of a trip to Disneyland Steven and I have planned, but those pregnant women....THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

the wonderfulness of nephews

2008-09-26T12:44:00.001-07:00

a little compilation of photos put together as a collage, old school via paint. if I were five, you would call this a masterpiece! this is just a little preview of the fantastic adventures I'm going to have tomorrow with the sweetest boy in the world (I know I'm biased)....Dylan Elliott Shugg!

eyes wide shut

2008-09-18T23:01:00.001-07:00

I wish I were having the problem of eyes being shut; however, they are wide freakin' open. I can't explain why I am wide awake at 11 pm on a Thursday. I am a huge supporter of sleep! In fact, I include napping as a hobby. I am usually dead to the world at 10 pm most week nights, and 11 is pushing it for weekends.

I got home from small group tonight a little later than normal, and on a normal small group night I would get into PJs right away and be on my way to the land of nod. I walked in my bedroom (or as I like to call it, where the magic happens) tonight to do the usual straight-into-PJs routine, but I didn't want to. I stretched a little, thought about changing, and realized I wasn't that tired. Yawning occasionally? Yes. Ready to go to bed? For whatever crazy reason, no. And I'm still wide awake, much to the chagrin of my poor, sleep lover of a husband who for whatever reason cannot sleep when I am awake and cannot wake up when I am asleep. I feel like doing something. Anything. I just don't feel like going to bed.

Am I rebelling against being grown up-ish? Maybe. Am I living it up because I am in my mid-twenties and I can be awake and I should stay awake while I have "the luxury?" I guess. I think I may be pushing against the notion of being a boring, married, grown up with a regular 40-hour-a-week job. I don't want to be routine and boring, but I also need sleep to function.

Am I having a quarter-life crisis? My 25th birthday is a short 6 months away...who knows? I don't feel like I'm in crisis mode. Things have been going well for me lately in a lot of different ways - Steven and I are getting along better now than I think we ever have in the entire 5 1/2 years we've been together, I am feeling more comfortable in my new position at work, I am taking good care of myself physically by attending at least 2-3 hard core cardio classes a week and watching what I eat, I have been spending time reading my Bible every day and trying to do my work and manage my life so that it is all for God....what's missing? I feel pretty happy all around.

Whatever the cause, whatever the reason, I am sitting here with my eyes wide - but the opposite of shut.

don't hate me 'cause you ain't me

2008-09-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

For the love of baseball...Friday night was a great night for me. I got to go the Dbacks game - granted they aren't having the best season, but they're my home team so I love 'em just the same. Anyway, I got to hang out in the Gila River Casinos Suite (thank you Jamie from GRC!) and it was Fireworks Friday. Due to Gila River Casinos sponsoring the fireworks every Friday, I got to sit in the VIP chairs they set up ten feet from home plate to watch the fireworks! It was pretty awesome. Just don't hate me 'cause you ain't me. :)

Steven and I enjoying the "suite" life

Hanging out like a VIP

Yes, that's home plate over my right shoulder

Standing just inches from the playing field after the fireworks....right in front of the Dbacks Dugout

guilty pleasures

2008-09-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

There are a few things in my life that I consider guilty pleasures....those things that I know I probably shouldn't enjoy so much considering my love of Jesus, but I can't help wanting to follow them like a rabid animal anyway. A few examples: the Harry Potter books, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, healthy curiosity about the Twilight Series....just to name a few. Well, one of the big ones lately is One Tree Hill. I can seriously hear all of you laughing at me right now (except the one or two of you I know who share my little obsession). Why would a semi-grown up woman want to watch a TV show like One Tree Hill? Well, it all started last season when the show jumped ahead 4 years, skipping over the dreaded "college years" awkwardness other teen shows fall into when their stars grow up. Now they are 20 somethings playing 20 somethings, so it's a little more realistic. Some of the stories are far-fetched, but that's why I love it. It doesn't have to be real - it's TV!

Anyway, the new season started last Monday, while I was on vacation. I DVR'd it, of course, and have LOVED the first two episodes so far. This season is going to be so freakin' good! I suppose the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so I have a problem. I am slightly hooked on One Tree Hill. Don't disown me as a friend now that you know.

vacation all I ever wanted

2008-09-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

Steven and I just returned from a fantastic trip across half of the United States to visit friends in Kansas City, MO, with a small pit stop in Denver, CO to have dinner with more friends. All of this traveling transpired because of the facebook and a random wall comment to come and stay with the Erlandsons before we had kids of our own and wouldn't. So we did! Here's a short journal of our travels....

Day 1

Depart Queen Creek at 6 am. Stop in Salt River Canyon for pics. Breakfast in Show Low, lunch in Albuquerque, dinner in Amarillo. Sleep after a 13 hour day of driving.....

Handsome Husband at the bottom of the Salt River Canyon

Day 2

Depart Amarillo at 9 am. See the Motel Cafe (any relation to the Hotel Cafe in LA? Perhaps). Find the World's Largest Cross, accompanied by the World's Most Blood-thirsty Mosquitos, in Groom, TX. Take more pics. Lunch in Edmond, OK (home of Olympic Gymnast Shannon Miller) after passing through Yukon, OK (home of Garth Brooks). Take a scenic byway rather than the interstate in Kansas (somewhere southwest-ish of Emporia, KS). Arrive in Kansas City, MO around 9 pm and finally eat dinner. Finally get to see the Erlandsons!!

The Motel Cafe in Amarillo, TX

Day 3

Hang out in Kansas City. Kiersten develops a crush on Steven despite being shocked that "There's someone in Caleb's bed" (Steven) at first. We have a wonderful day going into downtown KC, getting some great barbecue, then relaxing and playing a memorable game of Cranium to wrap up the day.

Steven and I with the most fun kids we've ever met

Day 4

Cameron was preaching in "big church" Sunday morning, so we enjoyed that. After church, we changed and went out for some "Mexican" food. Never get Mexican food in the midwest. The salsa may as well have been Heinz 57, and my "burrito" was the saddest looking thing in the world. I wish I had taken a picture. After lunching, we went to explore Smithville Lake north of Kansas City. After some yummy ice cream and a quick wardrobe change, back to church we went. Bryan was preaching in the high school service! After big church, we headed over to Bryan and Lori's for some legendary shepherd's pie, the best margarita I have ever tasted, and a game of Settlers of Catan (which I had never played before....). After Settlers, we discovered the fun of camera timers for getting group pictures. Below is one of the cuter ones.

Steven, Me, Lori, Bryan, Sharla, and Cameron hanging out at the Lopez home

Day 5

We leave Kansas City! Before we get out of town we discover a crazy good sidewalk sale at Walmart where I score a shirt and some capris for $6 total! After what seems like eternity, we make it across Kansas and into Colorado. We stopped for lunch in Hays, KS, which was a "cultural" experience. We make a stop in Aurora (east of Denver) for Famous Dave's for dinner, and I get to see Amanda - one of my good friends from back in junior high! She may be stalking my blog right now.... I discover the joy that is ribs (never had them before this night), then we go down to Colorado Springs and check in to our hotel for the night. By the way, never stay at a Crowne Plaza! They are clean, but the staff we encountered there were so rude and there was no convenient way to get to our room from the exterior of the hotel. Plus there wasn't a free hot breakfast included, like at the Holiday Inn Express (so yummy). Just thought I would throw that in there. Steven wakes me up at midnight to tell me his sugar is low and we have nothing for him in the room to bring it up, plus no cash for the soda machine. After a 10 minute walk back out to the car, we get him some sugar and all is well.

Matt, Amanda, Me, and Steven outside Famous Dave's

Did you know that Matt lived next to the first Famous Dave's Ever? I feel like I met a celebrity. =)

Day 6

We explore Colorado Springs, so I get to enjoy the Olympic Training Complex there! I embrace the chariot of fire within, that is for sure. After some exploring, we get back on the road, I take some serious Sudafed, and then I sleep off and on the rest of the way back to AZ. We had lunch in Las Vegas, NM (seriously!) and dinner in Holbrook, AZ. After midnight, we finally roll home and get into bed. What a crazy six days!

And you thought the Mesa Main Street Statues were fun! Look at all the possibilities with this single statue...

Holy chariots of fire, Batman! It's the Olympics!

2008-08-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

I realize that it has been nearly 3 weeks since the last time I posted...well...anything. A big reason is that I have been semi-religiously watching the Olympics. As I type, men's 10M platform diving is on. Semifinals. The US boys are doing well. But seriously, Speedo bathing suits on men freak. me. out. Another thing that freaks me out: 10 M diving platforms. One of the semesters that I took swimming, we had a chance to go up on the 10 M platform. I could barely handle the 3 M springboard, so I watched (anxiously) from the pool deck as friends braved potentially bruised backsides and insane heights and jumped.

The Olympics have been fantastic, aside from some questionable judging. Our athletes are doing well - I mean, the first medals of the entire games were won by the US when our team won the first gold (and silver and bronze) medal in women's sabre. Forget total medal count, that's something to be proud of! And then we kicked butt and took names in my favorite sport....SWIMMING! I mean, look at how Jason Lezak really won that 4 X 100 free relay for the US team. Yeah, yeah, I love Michael Phelps too and he has done amazing things, but he led off that relay. The anchor (Lezak) has the hard work to do! Especially in that race. The one thing that has driven me bananas (or "to the movies!" wink Sonic commercial lovers) is how much people are talking about the number of calories and types of foods that Michael Phelps ingests on a daily basis. Seriously, if you swam for hours upon hours a day, you would need to eat like a small army, too. Let's not all act surprised that Olympic level athletes need to eat like....well...Olympic level athletes. Side note: Twenty minutes of swimming kills me right now, but that's because I'm two years out of practice in the pool (even though I can do a good butterfly now wahoo!).

The thing that I find most interesting about the Olympics is how it inspires the coach potato Olympian that I, and many others I know, am to get off my keister and exercise. I had been going to the gym pretty solidly at least once a week before this to a killer cardio class, but after watching a few days of competition I dusted off my swim cap and goggles and got in the pool. The thing I forget is that I am not an Olympic athlete, therefore I shold not exercise like one. I spent nearly 4 hours at the gym two days into the Olympics and was in so much pain the next day. I've scaled back since then. Only spend about 1 1/2 hours at the gym at a time for now, and only 3 days a week. Sadly, in a couple of days, the Olympics will be all over.

Other highlights of the games for me:

US Women's Gymnastic winning a whole lot of medals (team silver, individual all around gold and silver, silver and bronze on floor, silver on bars, gold and silver on beam - go Nastia and Shawn!!). Related low-light here was Cheng Fei getting silver on vault when SHE LANDED ON HER KNEES, while Alicia Sacramone, who stood up both of her vault landings, did not medal. GRRR.

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh taking a repeat gold medal in beach volleyball. I liked the video of them playing volleyball with G-dub (or the President of the US), and the funny footage of a legion of Chinese men scouring the sand for Kerri Walsh's engagement ring.

Human interest stories....all of them

The Italy-France love triangle involving Manadou and those scrappy Italians. I would get mad at the Italians, but that would be like indulging in cannibalism or something. Can't get mad at your own kind, right?

Hearing the National Anthem play and seeing ALL the gold medalists from the US tear up - or valiantly fight the tears back through lots of lip clenching- around "o'er the laaaaand of the free....and the home of the brave!"

Michael Phelps .01 second win in the 100 M fly. CRAZY! That race stopped my Bunco group from playing our game...stopped! You have no idea what a big deal that is.

What can I say? I love the Olympics!

a great day with a good friend...or so stinkin' over it

2008-08-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

Today was an interesting day. It started off early after a super restless night of sleep. You know, one of those nights where it seems like you're awake throughout all the wee sma's, and then just as you drift off to slumber land.....the alarm goes off. I figured I would put my early start to good use, and good use it was. I got my "chores" done, and then I was off to meet Kelsey for breakfast.

But I haven't told you who Kelsey is yet. Rewind about 12 1/2 years ago. It was 1995, the first semester of 6th grade. I was assigned to sit next to Kelsey. We hated each other. She was a gymnast, and I wanted to be. I was smart, and that made her jealous/angry/something of the sort. Note that I did not say she wanted to be smart, because she is/was at the time, too. One day I decide to go over to her house, out of the deep blue nowhere. Needless to say, she was surprised to see me. We spent that afternoon together, and from that point until the summer before our junior year of high school we were inseparable. Since she went away for college to San Jose, CA, we only get to see each other when she comes home about 2x a year. Each time we get together is was like we were never apart. This is where the great day with a good friend part of the old blogeroo comes in.

I knew when I made plans to get together with Kels this morning that she was going out the night before with Jon (her man) and some other friends. Kels has what some might call "a life," so I knew this meant a late night for her. We arranged to meet at her dad's house at 10 am. I show up at the agreed upon time and ring the doorbell. No answer. I wait a bit, and then knock. I hear footsteps, which I later figured out belonged to Maggie, the dog, and get hopeful. No answer. I ring the doorbell again. Still no answer. I text Kelsey to let her know that there's no answer. After 5 minutes of waiting she texts something to the effect of "OMG I just woke up and I never made it to my dad's last night. I'm at my mom's." I start to drive in the general direction of her mom's house but have no idea exactly where I'm going since her mom moved after she remarried 2 years ago. I get to the house without much more ado about anything. We finally get to breakfast (more brunch at this point) and from there it was a good 5 hours of "do you remembers" and catching up. We went out bowling with her dad and just have a good time all around. There are some funny videos Kels got on her camera of Steven and his unique method of bowling - it's "how he rolls," so he says - and we had some funny moments the further along in our games we got. If anyone hears me saying, "I think you're gonna like this," I picked it up from Kelsey's dad while we were at the alley. And apparently Jon is something of a kingpin....who knew? Maybe it's because he's Asian (that's what he said).

And now for part 2 of the blog. I had to put together two posters for the APA annual convention happening next week in Boston. I am not going, but my master's thesis is in the form of a poster along with another bit of research I did when I was an RA (research assistant, not resident advisor) my first semester of graduate school. I realized as I was grumbling and mumbling through putting together stuff for my thesis advisor why I quit my doctoral program after I finished my master's. It's because I'm so stinkin' over it. I don't enjoy academia, I don't enjoy research, I don't enjoy all the menial tasks attached to doing school work.

Besides, I don't think my restless night of (no) sleep helped either.

summer day camp

2008-07-14T17:57:00.000-07:00

Summer day camp is almost over. It's a grueling 7 weeks (up to 10 in some locations) of 11 hours of operating hours a day, 5 days a week. This week is our last week. So much happened in the past 7 weeks. Here's a rundown:

Day one of SDC - boss informed me he had been offered a job in WY and would be leaving halfway through the summer
Day two - apply for said boss's job at his request
Day three - parent gets so upset at the way we handled a situation that she removes her kids from camp and tells me that I don't care about the kids we serve (at this point I had worked nearly 30 hours in 2 1/2 days)
Day four - Group of six-year-olds discover that boys and girls have different private parts and decide to explore. Results in a sit-down talk with said group of curious six-year-olds to explain that these parts are called private for a reason
Day five - find out I was selected to interview for boss's job. Problem theme of the day: wetting the pants (I seriously had something like 4 kids wet their pants, one girl wet them twice in the same day)
Day eight - interview for boss's job. Played the basketball game Speed in heels. Became the hero of the 10 year old boys playing against me.
Day 10 - first field trip of the summer to ASU pool. Have credit card (place is cash only) but don't have petty cash to pay for admission, so have to scrounge together $50 from chaperones to get in. Big, black lifeguard flirts with me. Get bright red sunburn. Should have purchased sun block/aloe combo
Day eleven - get offered boss's job and accept, find out who my replacement is
Day 18 - my replacement visits the club to get an orientation and see the facility
Day 20 - boss's last day, also same day as circus field trip. No one is there to open up the club at 7 and I get there at 7:25. Many upset parents. Field trip goes well, leave early for boss farewell fiesta. Two kids get in a verbal fight that escalates to physical fighting. Lots of phone calls to boss and I during our sojourn at happy hour.
Day 21 - Find out my new salary and not happy with it. Lots of crying results. Go out to Sweet Tomatoes with friend from church and that makes life better.
Day 23 - Try to negotiate better salary. Cry in front of new supervisor. Negotiations fail miserably. This makes me miss my old supervisor a lot.
Day 24 - Dbacks field trip. AMAZING. Down 5-0 in bottom of the 9th and come back to beat the Brewers 6-5! Get on jumbo screen far too many times (luckily not during Kiss Cam).
Day 26 - Go to lunch with my replacement and get excited about plans for the club. Angry mom arranges to meet with me in person next morning. As of day 30, still hasn't met with me. Email president of organization to meet regarding salary.
Day 28 - Get dressed up for organization-wide function for local and corporate board members. Really tired after almost 6 full weeks of camp. Make it through meeting and have to run from ballroom at back of hotel to front of hotel and around the corner to my car in pouring rain (while wearing 3 inch heels). Fail to get car keys out of black hole of a purse before getting to car door. New dress clothes soiled but not ruined.
Day 30 - Still no word about meeting with president of org regarding salary. Work hard to keep club running but get very, very tired in the process. Only 4 more days....

That's a short chronicle of the highlights from the summer. I'm sure there will be more stories to share after we have a carnival and talent show on Thursday and go to Amazing Jake's on Friday. Hope you enjoyed!

wonderful laziness

2008-07-04T20:24:00.000-07:00

Today was a day of great relaxation. Sure, I did my fair share of house work (in fact....I finished all of my weekly housekeeping duties), but I did my fair share of relaxing and being wonderfully lazy. I love lazy days, especially in the summer. It's too hot to go outside, but there's so much to do and discover indoors. Hot summer days are my favorite times to spend reading books. A good majority of non-housekeeping time was spent reading. I miss reading books. I need to go to the bookstore and pick up some good ones to get sucked hopelessly into. I love old favorites, too. It's like watching your favorite movie over and over....the books pull you in and you keep reading like it's food to a starving stomach, even though you know what will happen. It's fun when it's been a while since you've read a book that you love. You remember key plot points, but it's fun to rediscover the way the story unfolds, and laugh over little moments you knew were there but couldn't remember how or where they fit into the story. I think I will get back to my reading here soon....I put my book down about an hour ago but I'm aching to get back to it. I'm nearly finished with it and I'm getting to the more exciting parts of the story....

oh the stress of it all.....

2008-06-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

Change definitely leads to stress. There have been a number of changes lately that have led to some increased stress.

Change #1) Two new people living in my house. Steven and I are hosting two people from church at our house. They are nice guys, but they seem to forget who pays the bills around here. I guess this is a taste of what parenthood will be like.

Change #2) I got a promotion at work. This past week was a transition week with the old boss getting his things together to leave for his new job and me getting into the new position. It seems like Murphy's Law was at work in testing my ability to take on the new responsibilities.

Once the dust of shaking things up settles down, it will get easier. The beginnings of new chapters are always the hardest, since the action is all headed uphill. Little by little this too shall pass...

things that make you go hmmm?

2008-06-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy tests for sale right next to condoms

Aloe vera & sunblock sold as a set

People who jaywalk feet from a legal crosswalk

Paying a graduation fee once your course of study is complete at a university

Birds that can't fly

simply me

2008-06-21T13:18:00.001-07:00

Everyone I know has started a blog at blogspot. I guess this is the best thing since myspace to help you keep up with your friends, old and new. Let me tell you what makes me simply me.

I struggled for a little while to figure out who I am now that I am not a student. That was the central piece to my identity for 18 long, trying years. There are so many things that make up my identity that I shouldn't be so concerned with the one thing I am not...a student. I know that I am a blessed child of God, a loving wife, a good housekeeper. I like to watch Grey's Anatomy and read books. I like email but I don't like to check it. I enjoy Starbuck's sweetened green tea. I like going to see chick flicks with my best friend & neighbor Candice. I miss early AM swims with Carrie :( but I am so proud of her for chasing her dreams. I love alternative rock music and Saturdays home alone. I value independence but enjoy the company of others. I like it when I really stop to "consider God's wonders" (Job 37:14). I love my family - big and complicated and occasionally dysfunctional. Sometimes I wish I had a puppy, but not the mess and smell that goes with it. At my core I am a musician, and I love the symphony of God's expansive universe - the universe He conducts and holds in perfect balance with His mighty hands. I try to find joy in every situation and laugh at the frustrating circumstances of life. I miss the friends I had growing up through high school, but I am so amazed and what they all have become. All of this is simply me.